ZCSD NEWSLETTER — January, 2004
2047 Felspar Street San Diego, California 92109-3551 858-273-3444
“Always we must practice getting closer and closer to experiencing our pain, our disappointment, our shattered hopes, our broken pictures. And that experiencing is ultimately nonverbal. When we experience the suffering directly, the melting of the false emotion can begin, and true compassion can emerge.”
Joko Beck
SAN DIEGO RESIDENTS
If you don’t receive the newsletter by e-mail, but have an e-mail address, please mail your address to ZCSD MEMBERS @aol.com. You will continue to receive the newsletter by regular mail unless you request otherwise. We wish to have your e-mail address on file in case we have to notify you of a change in schedule or a special event.
2004 BOARD ELECTIONS
Please note that we are in the process of electing next years' Board of Directors. The list of candidates will be displayed on the kitchen table, along with ballots for the voting members, the first week in January, 2004.
INSTRUMENTS OF PEACE CDs
The Instruments of Peace CDs (Elizabeth and friends) have been expanded. Now, there are three:
1. ONE WORLD MUSIC – mix and favorites;
2. SILENT SOUNDS – quieter music, primarily keyboards;
3. GUIDED MEDITATIONS, and some quiet music.
Available through ZCSD office. Suggested donation $7 (payable to ZCSD) benefits Rosa Parks Institute programs. If ordering by mail, please enclose mailer with sufficient postage for each CD.
SCHEDULE
Dawn Sitting Weekdays, Mon. – Fri. 6-7 am
Tues. Evening Two Sittings, 6:30 – 8:00 pm
Wed. Evening Two Sittings, 6:30 – 7:40 pm Practice seminar follows
(until about 8:20 pm)
Thurs. Evening Two Sittings, 6:30 – 8:00 pm
Sat. Morning 8:30 am Work practice
8:45 am Introductory workshop for newcomers
Follow-up instruction for those who have
attended introduction
9:00 am-Noon Three sittings; Dharma talk
Page 2
Disconnected From the Heart
Sometimes, when emotions are particularly intense---such as in hurt or grief or overwhelm---where we feel the very uncomfortable feelings of groundlessness and helplessness, it is particularly difficult to practice. But this is also the very place where we can enter into the heart of practice, where we can begin to break through the layers of armoring and protection we’ve all erected to feel more secure. But in erecting this armoring---particularly in holding onto our self-images and our pretenses--- we’ve also cut ourselves off from the heart. And in talking about the heart, I’m not talking about the physical muscle, or some vague pseudo-spiritual idea; I’m talking about the Heart which is the essential nature of our Being. In some traditions this Heart is called Emptiness; in other traditions it’s called God. But it doesn’t matter what words we use---this Heart is the Heart that only knows connectedness and love.
So in working with intense emotions, we have the opportunity to break through our protective cocoon, and enter into the spaciousness of the Heart. But because it is so difficult to stay with these emotions, this process is best done within the wider container and stillness of meditation.
In emotion based pain, such as hurt, what usually happens? Someone says something and we feel hurt. All our past history of hurt is immediately ignited. The sense of fear and dread that we may have felt as a child, which is now embedded in our cellular memory, is felt as if there were real danger. But what is actually being threatened? It is usually nothing more than memories or an image of the self that we’re holding onto.
To understand this, that there is really nothing to defend other than memory and self-image, won’t take away the hurt; but it will allow us to do what we need to do in order to be able to experience what’s happening.
The first and most fundamental thing that we have to learn is that when difficult situations and feelings such as these arise that they are not problems to be solved or obstacles to be avoided, but that these very difficulties are, in fact, the path. They’re our opportunity to wake up out of our little protected world; they’re our opportunity to awaken into a more genuine way of living. This idea can’t be overemphasized.
Of course, you probably have heard this idea before---- that our difficulties are our path. But, it’s a lot easier to understand this intellectually than it is to remember it when we’re in the middle of the muddiness of life---when we’re angry, or anxious, or confused, or even just in bad mood. Why? Because we instinctively want a life that is problem free. So we usually continue in our strategies to guarantee comfort and safety until, at some point, (and this is only if we’re lucky), we get disappointed enough by life’s blows to realize that our strategies---of control, of trying harder, of withdrawing, of blaming, whatever they are--will never give us the quality in life that all of us want. At that point---with life’s disappointments as our teacher---we can start to use our difficulties as our path to awakening.
Second, we need to see the story line for what it is and stop rehashing it over and over with our believed thoughts, which only sustain and solidify the painful experience of hurt. This is especially true when we are self-justifying and blaming.
Third, we learn how to stop contracting around the hurt as “me”. Instead of relating from the pain, which says, “I’m hurt”, literally identifying me and the hurt into “I am hurt”; (equating “I” and “hurt”), we learn to relate to the pain. How? By including the wider container of awareness.
Feel any sense of emotional agitation or discomfort right now. Bring awareness also to breath, to the specific sensations of the breath as it enters and leaves the nose. When awareness of the breath is established, also include the perception of sounds. Hear the sounds. Also hear the sounds between the sounds. Now see if you can experience the emotional discomfort within context of breath and sounds. As the witness is engaged, we become the awareness within which the discomfort is felt. This is, in part, how we can learn to work with pain.
Maybe we can only do it a little. But we practice, persevere, and practice, so working with emotional pain in this way becomes more and more familiar. When we can include the awareness of air and sounds, especially when we can remember that that the pain is also our path, we can learn to stay with the actual sensations of pain themselves. We become the awareness within which the pain is felt.
Ultimately, it’s awareness that heals. It’s awareness that allows us to reconnect with the heart, the Heart which is the essence of our Being.
Ezra Bayda
Sesshin Application Follows on Page 4
APPLICATION FOR SESSHIN
ZEN CENTER of SAN DIEGO • 2047 Felspar St. • San Diego, CA 92109 • 858-273-3444
Please print clearly to avoid delay in processing your application, and please fill out this form completely.
Name ______Age ______Gender _____
Address ______City ______State ____ Zip ______
Home phone ______Work phone ______
Emergency contact (name) ______(phone) ______
(must be blood relative or spouse)
e-mail______(ZCSD has no e-mail address, but volunteers may contact you by e-mail).
Circle the sesshin for which you are applying:
Please note: Applications cannot be considered unless a check for sesshin fees is included
Date Member Non-member Mail-in Date
April 5-10 5-day 150.00 175.00 Feb 5, 2004
May 13-16 3-day E+E 90.00 105.00 Mar 13
June 21-26 5-day 150.00 175.00 April 21
Aug 16-21 5-day 150.00 175.00 June 16
Oct 8-11 3-day 90.00 105.00 Aug 8
Nov 11-14 3-day E+E 90.00 105.00 Sept 11
Dec 26-31 5-day 150.00 175.00 Sept 26
Have you ever attended sesshins with Joko or Elizabeth/Ezra? ___Yes ___ No
This will be my ___1st ___ 2nd ___ 3rd ___ + sesshin at ZCSD
Date/location/teacher of your most recent sesshin ______
Mail in form no earlier than the mail-in date above, marked: Attention Sesshin Coordinator. The postmark will be entered as the application date. Please wait to make air reservations until your application has been confirmed. We will notify you as soon as decisions have been made. If you haven’t heard from us exactly one month before the sesshin begins, please call the Center.
Arrive by 6:30 pm the first night.** Last day will end about 3:00 pm. A light snack will be available the first evening.
**Newcomers please arrive early for orientation. Orientation begins at 4:30 pm
Work Skills (circle): cooking, shopping prior to sesshin, electrical, carpentry, painting, computer, gardening, flower arranging, jobs prior to sesshin, other: ______
Physical conditions limiting participation:______
I agree to maintain a daily sitting practice from the time of this application through the sesshin. I will participate in the entire schedule, including interviews, sittings, meals, work, and any assigned tasks. I will be on time for all activities. I understand that my physical, mental, and emotional well-being are my own responsibility. Zen practice is not a substitute for therapy. I am capable of undertaking the rigors of a sesshin at this time. I am seeking medical or therapeutic treatment for any condition(s) I have, and have revealed all pertinent information on this form. I will sign a waiver releasing ZCSD from accident and injury liability.
______
Signature Legibly printed name
ALL BLANKS ON APPLICATION FILLED IN? ___ Yes ___ No Printable E-MAIL v 01/04