StrategiesforReducingOur

OwnTendencytoStereotypeOthers

l.Awarenessandconsciousnessarethefirststepstowardchanging any undesired behavior or attitude.Begin bysimply beingawareoftheinner voices,opinions, and judgments youhaveaboutpeople.Askyourself:AmIreallylookingat thispersonasanindividual,orIhaveIlumpedthemintoa categorywithotherswhoarelikethem?

2.Tryan experiment:Picksomeonewhoisverydifferentfrom youtohaveaconversationwith. Tellyourselfthateverything youthoughtyouknewaboutthemisfalse.What questionswouldyouaskthatpersontofindoutwhotheyreallyare? Whatwouldbeyourattitude inlisteningifyougenuinely wanttolearnaboutthatperson?

3.Thereare two waystoapproachanotherpersoninconversationandinteraction.One-wayiswith an intenttolearn;the otheriswithanintenttoprotect.Withanintent to learn,you areopen to hearingthatperson'sideas,perspectives,andfeelings.Withanintent to protect,youareclosedtothem,and yourprimarygoalistodefendyourself,yourfeelings,oryour beliefs.Practice approaching people more oftenwithanintent tolearn,especiallywithpeoplewhoaredifferentfrom you.Seeifitenhancesyour relationshipswithothers.

4. Learn tobeabetter listener. Most ofusaregoodattalking and expressingour ownideas, feelings, andopinions.But manyofusarenotverygoodlisteners.Practice effective listening skillsclass, orreadabook onlistening.Practice often.Thebetter youlisten, themore youlearn.Whatyou learnmaysurprise you andenhanceyourlife!

5.Wejudgeourselvesbyour intentions,butwejudgeothersby their behavior.Wearequick todeclareourselvesinnocentof offense,byvirtueofourgoodintentions.Butwearequick totakeoffense atothers'behavior,withoutgiving themanycredit atallfortheirgood intentions.Givetheother personthe benefitof thedoubt.Weliveinatime whendiversitymakeseffectivecommunicationmorechallengingthanever. Virtually80percentof offensiveremarksareunintentional, often basedon ignorance,mistakenassumptions,and unconscious stereotyping,ratherthan maliciousness. An open,honest dialogueabouthurtfeelingsoroffended sensibilities willfrequentlyclearupmisunderstandingson both sides.Giveothers thesame benefitofthe doubtthat you’dlikethem togivetoyou.

6. Wetend tospend mostofour timewithpeoplewefeelmost comfortablearound, peoplelikeourselves.This isn’tbad. It’s normal,and it’ssafe.Butitalsokeeps usseparate fromothers, anditkeeps usfrom everlearning aboutthosewho aredifferent.Spend moretimewithpeoplewhoaredifferent from you.Doing sowillprobablymeangetting outofyour "comfort zone."Overcomingstereotypesand learningto appreciatediversity means gettingcomfortable withbeinguncomfortable.

7. Anytimeweseeanotherpersonassimplyamember ofaparticulargroup, rather thanasanindividual within agroup,weareindangerofsuccumbingtostereotypes; practiceseeing othersasindividualsfirst,asgroup memberssecond.

8. AsStephenCoveysuggests,"Seekfirsttounderstand,thento beunderstood."Liveand workwithothers withanattitude of respect,caring,and authenticity.Createasafespace inwhich otherscandiscusstheproblemsofstereotypingwith you.Acommunityof peopleengagedin learningto seebeyondstereotypesismuch morepowerfulandeffectivethan anyone personalone. Encouragedialogue withothers. Be awareofhow"politicalcorrectness"cansometimeshinder open,honestcommunication aboutdifferences.

9. Recognizethat overcomingthe naturalhumantendency tostereotype isanever-endingprocess.Thoseyearsofcultural conditioningandsocializationhavegivenyouhundreds,ifnot thousands, ofstereotypes thatdonotserveyou well.Begin nowtorootoutthosestereotypes,onebyone.Liketendinga gardenandpullingweeds,rendingyourthoughtsandattitudes isanongoingprocessthat requirespersistence,patience,and vigilance.Weedingourstereotypeswillresultinamorefruitful "garden"ofknowledge,insight,and relationships.

10.Celebrate yourprogressand personalsuccessesinovercomingstereotypes.Learnfromyourmistakesandshortcomings

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