BBNAN-02300: Essay Writing 1
Revising Sentences - Home assignment
Submission deadline: 26 February 2015
Revising Sentences
1. Make the following sentences shorter wherever possible.
a) In our town, there are a great many people who do care and want to help.
b) Give me the exact precise directions that will take me to your house.
c) Parties like the one I attended yesterday do not tend to stay in my memory.
d) My failure on the final examination was due to the fact that I had an aching tooth.
e) In case you lose your way and drive around, call us on the telephone.
f) I can definitely see a number of improvements that could be made to make registration easier without a doubt.
g) We should never underestimate our opponents and think they are not as fast as we are.
h) I was getting ready to go out of my mind due to the fact that I was so frustrated, when I came up with a beginning opening paragraph that chimed like a choir of church bells.
i) I don’t think a teacher shoulod ever accuse a student without first having proof of what he is accusing the student of.
j) There are many times when a person begins to feel that she has been treated unjustly.
2. Rewrite the following paragraph into a concise text (delete all instances of wordiness).
Hockey is a very quick sport. In order to keep it very fast-moving, hockey is the only sport in which substitutions are made while play is actually in progress. Players whiz up and down the rink at speeds of 20 m.p.h. Wearing ice skates, they just wave in and out of the opposition while moving the puck. Their main objective is to score by firing a fast or unexpected shot that goes through the opoosing team’s goalkeeper and into the goal. It is the goalkeeper’s job to dive in front of the goal, when shots that frequently go as fast as 100 m.p.h. have to be blocked.
3. Rewrite the following sentences to correct illogical comparisons.
a) Running at the beach is more exhilarating than the yard.
b) I like jazz played on the clarinet better than the flute.
c) Going to school in Vermont is more fun than New York.
d) Annette’s hair is shorter than Mark.
e) The ride to Omaha is more interesting than Kansas City.
f) The wai for the bus was longer than the box office.
4. Combine the following sentences into a pleasing paragraph.
My family have been prominent. They have been well-to-do people. They live in this Midwestern city for a while. They have lived here for three generations. The Carraways are something are something of a caln. We have a tradition. The tradition is that we are descended from the Dukes of Buccleuch. The actual founder of my line was my grandfather’s brother. He came here in fifty-one. He sent a substitute to the Civil War.. He started the wholesale hardware business. My father carries on the business today.
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