First, I just wanted to say that ads seem to be getting more direct and aggressive. (Especially towards Apple. Have you seen the Surface vsiPad commercials? Like geez.)
I really liked your introduction and conclusion. It feels like this could be an article that I’m reading on a popular website.
Your thesis is great. I think you use “very” very often.
I understand that we only have four pages to write , and there’s a lot to put in, but sometimes you point out something and then don’t elaborate on it.
For example:
The spokesperson for this commercial is a male narrator who uses persuasive, confident voice projection. In addition to the anonymous speaker, Caucasian hands display the use of a brand-new, clean-cut, spotless Samsung Galaxy Note 4, which is the “main character” in this advertisement. The details on this smartphone are what make the product desirable; the phone is at 100% battery with full service bars.
You have three different ideas in three sentences. Now I’m not saying you can or have to write a paragraph on this dude’s voice, but it slightly feels like you’re jumping from idea to idea or just pointing out things and not explaining why you bothered to point it out.
Does this confident voice projection build ethos because it feels authoritative, like “yeah this guy knows what he’s talking about”?
Does it matter that it’s a white dude? Do they only show his hands in order to make sure the focus is on the phone or so we can put ourselves in this place? Or is the only hands things a reference to Apple ads? Or do all phone ads only show hands?
Like yeah, you don’t want a 12 page paper, but in case you need extra content you know. Also, you kind of jump right in without giving a clear topic sentence for some of the body paragraphs.
Also in paragraph 4, you point out the background music in one sentence but then don’t actually say anything about it. That’s more descriptive than analytical.
But otherwise, this is really good. Your analysis of the structure and timing is on point.
vs.
I find this very interesting. You are off to a good start.
Additionally, the carefully chosen 12:45 pm time also creates a sense of happiness, because stereotypically most people have just finished lunch and are now ready to take on the rest of their day.[L1]
The delivery of the ad is very effective in appealing to both pathos and logos.
Not only does she effectively relay her message in words, but also in images.[L2]
The statistics the artist uses [L3]also represents the rhetorical appeal logos which connects the audience and the subject intellectually. When the rhetor taps into the reader’s logic, the reader trusts the author more since he or she was given concrete evidence as to why the author’s reasoning is correct
- Beginning with vinyl and a serving tray spinning on the vinyl is a means to keep the audience interested
- The vinyl music and spinning serving dish attract the intended audience and cause people to at least give the commercial a chance instead of flipping to a new channel
- Instead of working in a restaurant her whole life, a degree will lead to a better lifestyle and allow her to achieve her dreams.[L4]
In order to influence this audience, the video follows a chronological series of events.
The visuals in this video along with the background music creates deep sympathy for the wildlife of the arctic, while the add was unsuccessful in their task of breaking up a long standing corporate partnership but Greenpeace succeeded in stressing the exagence of this issue and bringing it to the forefront of discussion.
- Use of humor and satire – a stylistic choice[L5]
Coca-Cola has always[L6] been successful in its advertising, where its brand name has become known worldwide by nearly everyone. [L7]
The use of black and white also helps to create and eerie and gloomy atmosphere that helps the audience feel sympathetic and question what happened to those people.[L8]
This may have been done in order to have the audience feel as though it was their decision that they want to step up and do more rather than being told to volunteer. There is a big difference in the amount of effort that one puts into something when they are intrinsically motivated rather then when there are external factors driving them to do it.[L9]
The topic of gay marriage has been sort of taboo in our society. No sane, heterosexual person ever wants to bring it up, because no one wanted to debate a topic that didn’t seem to have a clear “this is right” and “this is wrong”. [L10]
Through its use of characters, argumentation, structure, style, and delivery, this video is more persuasive and propagandized than many political campaign ads[L11]. [L12]
The audience quickly loved the children [L13]with a “so cute I just want to eat you up” attitude. The fact that viewers immediately loved the children, kept them engaged and more easily susceptible to the children’s opinions.[L14]
Throughout times most animals have either been domesticated or hunted creating associations for certain animals to be pets or food. Now, the former of the two is the most popular for advertisements of domestic retail. Pets have been around since before they could be documented but have always been popular in Western culture since its beginning with dogs and cats being the most popular.[L15]
Every detail of the advertisement was carefully chosen starting with the color and lightning to bring the presentation to life, a vibrant and good-feeling life brought by taking the pet to Pet Expressions [L16]
Everyone wants to feel attractive and be seen as attractive, especially younger people, and Old Spice knows that. In one of their more recent commercials, they targeted the teenage male population and showed off their product in a way that was not only convincing, but catchy as well.[L17][L18]
While the timing of this commercial is being questioned, such as why Old Spice did not wait until the Superbowl to air this commercial[L19], it is a fairly appropriate time in general for this commercial to be aired.
[L1]doesn’t it just have to do with proving the battery life is good? unless there’s research that shows that people feel this way, don’t read too much into things.
[L2]offer strong analytical statement that says something more specific about how images function. It seems you might want to spend time analyzing her use of character.
[L3]extrinsic proofs to make the argument that????? there’s a direct relationship between?????
[L4]Is this the analytical sentence that will drive the paragraph? Seems this is also a part of character. What does this use of character do to lend to artistic proofs?
[L5]why is humor a good choice for men’s grooming products? If a man takes his grooming too seriously (at least outwardly), is there a societal implication? Does humor open the door for men to use these products without a stigma? Does Old Spice’s use of humor set it apart from other men’s grooming product companies who have a more serious message? Don’t just describe its use of humor, explain WHY it makes this choice.
[L6]not so. New Coke was a bust
[L7]Avoid big general cliches
[L8]this is a stretch. why would a gloomy atmosphere help an audience feel sympathy?
[L9]this is a lot of shaky speculation. What might you say about the use of text that you can know for sure?
[L10]Be careful about using broad generalities. Say something of substance. Maybe just start by saying, “In the video series ‘Kids React,’ the topic of gay marriage was proposed to a group of children.
[L11]how do you prove this?
[L12]This thesis needs greater clarity. The end doesn’t really give you anywhere to go.
[L13]how do you know? phrase in a way that doesn’t demand proof.
[L14]Unless there’s a study that proves this, you can’t know it.
[L15]I don’t know that you have to historically contextualize THAT much. Maybe you might consider more current info about how many people in this country are pet owners and how much we spend on our pets each year.
[L16]Of course, I know it’s a draft, but be sure to carefully proofread for grammar, syntax, punctuation, etc.
[L17]Looking for a richer, less generic open. Really say something.
[L18]Is this your thesis? Needs to say something more specific.
[L19]source???