You the Man!

Repentance and how it replaces guilt with grace.

2 Samuel 11-12, Psalm 51

Objectives

  • To memorize the SHAPE acronym and identify elements of Paul’s shape.
  • To see in David an example of true repentance, and follow his lead in dealing with sin in our lives.

Overview

Guilt has fallen on hard times. Years ago guilt paraded around in broad daylight - people knew they were guilty and acted appropriately. Then, a generation or two ago, guilt was relegated to the shadows. People had a vague sense of their sinfulness, but they beat it down into the basement of their hearts. Nowadays, psychologists have helped us kick it out of the house altogether. “You don’t need to feel guilty,” they tell us. “Guilt and shame are the illegitimate children of dastardly authority systems.”

It’s as if guilt can be explained and therefore excused.

I think God sees it differently. Guilt is a gift. It may not be a basket of goodies, but it can be a very good thing. It’s the pain of conscience when the sin-stove has been touched. It’s the spiritual nervous system warning us that something is wrong. That lines have been crossed. That wrongs have been done. Ignore the pain of guilt at your own peril!

Can guilt be illegitimate? I suppose it’s possible. Occasionally a nerve reports a sensation from a stimulus that isn’t really there. But 99% of the time nerves are pretty reliable. I would give guilt at least that much credit. Spiritually speaking, there’s at least one thing more dangerous than illegitimate feelings of guilt, and that’s illegitimate feelings of innocence.

After his sin with Bathsheba, David initially dismissed his feeling of guilt. And it almost killed him Finally, after Nathan’s original cry of “You the man!” David embraced his guilt, examined it, and then exchanged it for God’s grace. His experience of forgiveness was deep and real; it renewed his spirit and enabled him to walk steadfastly with God.

But unresolved sin issues crush the spirit. They rob us of joy, break fellowship with God, quench the power of the Spirit, and gives the enemy a foothold from which to do further damage.

That’s sin. Guilt simply says, “Wake up! Sin is doing its thing!”

Responding with repentance turns the tables, replacing guilt with grace. That’s an exchange only a fool wouldn’t make.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

Psalm 51:10

Leader’s Study

2 Samuel 11-12 tells the story of David’s affair with Bathsheba, the murder of Uriah, and the confrontation of Nathan (which probably took place a year or two later). Psalm 51 describes David’s confession. This is what guilt was designed to produce - not denials, alibis, or plea bargains. Such travesties, so prevalent in our criminal justice system, indicate both our guilt and our unwillingness to repent. We are a hard-hearted, cowardly people.

Fortunately, David was soft-hearted and courageous. He sinned tremendously - but he also felt his guilt and shamelessly cast himself on the mercy of God’s court. In true repentance he exchanged guilt for - grace. And something strangely foreign to our concept of justice took place:

David received a full pardon and paid a severe penalty.

It’s not easy for us to see how these two things are compatible. Under the world’s system, it’s one or the other. But in God’s system, both are possible. David was completely forgiven; his fellowship completely restored; his spirit completely renewed. But David also lost the son born to Bathsheba, as well as control of his family, who later rebelled against him.

What to do when “You the Man”

1.FACE IT

There is nothing to gain and much to lose by brushing aside guilt. Look David’s ignored sin progressed:

  • David was lazy (2 Sam. 11:1). If he had dealt with it, he would not have committed adultery.
  • David committed adultery. If he had dealt with it, he would not have committed murder.
  • David committed murder. If he had dealt with it sooner, the discipline might have been less severe.

It’s tempting to ignore guilt and assume our sin will be forgotten. It’s also dumb!

Finally, in Psalm 51, David faces his sin and confesses. “According to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin” (Ps. 51:1-2).

2.FEEL IT

A brief “I’m sorry” does not adequately deal with big sins. These need to be reflected upon. They call for exploring our hearts to find the root of the evil we’ve done. We need to feel our sins! We need to brood until our level of remorse matches the crime. That’s what David did. He expresses it here: “I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you only have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight....Surely I was sinful from birth” (51:3-5).

3.FIX IT

We can’t undo what we’ve done, but when we can make amends we must. Offer God the proper sacrifice: “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (51:17). And when you can, fix it - make it right - with others. Zacchaeus offered to repay those he had cheated four times over!

4.FORSAKE IT

This is repentance. David expresses his desire to be pure, steadfast, Spirit-filled, joyful, and faithful in teaching others the ways of God: “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me” (51:10-12). We know that sin has been beaten and guilt removed when we turn our backs on sin and walk in God’s grace.

Discussion Guide

Open Up

  • When was the last time someone apologized to you? Explain the situation. What did they say?
  • Do you feel like they really meant it? How did their attitude affect your desire to forgive?
  • What’s the difference between a real apology and a fake one?

Dig In

1.Transition into your study by talking about the importance of legitimate confessions. Most of us are prone to say flippant “Sorry’s.” But a real apology involves repentance and an expression of remorse. Repentance is a big-time Bible word that involves seeing sin the way God sees it, then turning our backs on it. This is the only true way to get rid of guilt.

2.Tell the story of David and Bathsheba (and Uriah and Nathan) from 2 Samuel 11 and 12. Familiarize yourself with the details of the story so you can tell it smoothly and creatively.

3.Introduce Psalm 51:1-17 as David’s response to what he had done. Read and discuss it.

  • What do you sense that David was feeling as he wrote this?
  • Do you think he went overboard in his confession? What makes you think that David was sincere and not just dramatic?
  • According to Psalm 51, what were the negative effects of guilt and sin? (See also Psalm 32.)
  • What did David hope that God’s grace would do?
  • How can you tell that David truly repented?
  • What elements of true repentance can you identify in this passage?

Close Out

True Confessions

Challenge your group to take David’s example to heart and offer God a true confession of the sin in their lives. Give kids about 5 minutes to write a prayer of confession. Keep this a personal matter, unless someone feels they also need to confess to the group. You may want to pray together at the end and shred, burn, or creatively dispose of your confessions. Also remind your group to consider what amends they need to make.