Word to Yo’ Motha’

Descriptive Writing

One may think that to be descriptive, a writer has to be long winded. No, no, no. Sure, sometimes descriptive paragraphs can be long, but remember this:

A descriptive paragraph creates a picture in words. Think about it…are the only good photos, busy photos? Or are good photos just full of vivid, yet precise detail? Hopefully you chose the latter. As a class we are reading books written by writers who understand how to create an effective descriptive paragraph that paints a picture in the reader’s mind. Here are two examples:

“This tree flooded me with a sensation of alarm all the way to my tingling fingers. My head began to feel unnaturally light, and the vague rustling sounds from the nearby woods came to me as though muffled and filtered. I must have been entering a mild state of shock….I don’t remember saying anything. The branch he had jumped from was slenderer than it looked from the ground and much higher. It was impossible to walk out on it far enough to be well over the river. I would have to spring far out or risk falling into the shallow water next to the bank.”

“I stepped into the deserted corridor clogged with too many smells. Carnations, old people, rubbing alcohol, bathroom deodorizer, red Jell-O. Air conditioners poked out from the windows in the white section, but back here there was nothing but electric fans moving the hot air from one place to another.”

As you read these examples, note that both authors use PRECISE NOUNS, VERBS, ADJECTIVES and ADVERBS as well as provide ample concrete details and commentary so that the reader has a clear picture of the situation, character or location. An effective descriptive paragraph creates a main impression about a topic.

Keep in mind each paragraph contains the following:

  1. A topic sentence to inform the reader of the point of the paragraph. Underline the topic sentence in each paragraph.
  2. Context to help the reader understand the concrete details (adjectives and adverbs) in the paragraph. Circle the context in each paragraph.
  3. Concrete Details: These can be adjectives, adverbs or other specific examples.
  4. Most paragraphs contain commentary. The commentary further explains the point of the paragraph.

Answer the following questions about each paragraph.

  1. Underline six (total) words that stood out to you as you read each paragraph. Explain why three of those six words stood out to you.
  1. ______
  2. ______
  3. ______
  1. What did you “see” as you read each paragraph?

A.______

B.______

Now it’s your turn. Pick a place that vividly stands out to you, it can be your favorite place or your least favorite or any place that solicits a vivid memory. Write a paragraph about that place.

Why, Why, Why?

Analytical Writing

Descriptive paragraphs create pictures with words, analytical paragraphs often answer or explore the question of why. To analyze means to think, so in an analytical paragraph, you are asked to think about something. You are allowed to share your opinion, as you’re the one analyzing the topic, but you are to avoid using “I” as this is implied.

Following is an analysis of Lily’s choice to run away, notice the write examines WHY Lily ran away and gives an opinion on Lily’s decision. Notice the commentary is the longest part of the paragraph :

TOPIC SENTENCE: Lily’s father, T.Ray, is both mentally and physically abusive to her and now that Lily is a teen, she has reached a breaking point.

CONTEXT: As a young person, Lily wants to fit in and be loved and after fighting with T-Ray about her deceased mother, Lily decides that her current home does not offer her the love she desires, so she runs off to escape the life she hates. CONCRETE DETAILS: As Lily realizes what she needs to do, she thinks to herself, “In a matter of seconds I knew exactly what I had to do-leave. I had to get away from T.Ray who was probably on his way back this minute to do Lord-knows-what to me.” (Monk Kidd 41)

COMMENTARY: What Lily does not realize, is that a part of her is running from the problems she does not want to confront. Sure, running away gets her away from T.Ray’s abuse, but Lily does not know where she is running and running does not address her questions about her deceased mother or offer her a place to fit in. When Lily first runs away, she has no plan, no direction. Perhaps this change is good and it is what Lily needs to solicit change in her life, but much of her decision to run away is made because she is avoiding the truth, which deep down she knows may hurt her.

Write an analytical paragraph examining the strengths and weaknesses of either Lily or Gene.