Wisdom for the Family Pt5

10 Foundations for a Strong Marriage/Family

Sunday, March 11, 2018

  1. Wisdom for the Family

A.Discerning the Right Mate

1.The world builds relationships on four criteria: physical appearance, social status, intellectual ability, and financial means.

a.The most important criteria of all are spiritual matters. If the spiritual foundation is not stable nothing else will be.

b.Relationships should be developed in this order: spirit, soul, and then body.

  • Spiritual intimacy is achieved when two believers are able to fully and freely share with one another about anything and particularly God’s dealings with them regarding their salvation, total dedication, and victorious Christian living.
  • Intimacy of soul is achieved as couples begin to make plans for a future together and share their likes and dislikes as they relate to living and working together. (dreaming/planning)
  • Physical intimacy is consummated in marriage. (1 Cor. 6:18; 7:1-2 all AMP)

2.Some questions to consider in discerning the right mate.

a.Is he/she a believer like me? (2 Cor. 6:14-15)

  • Is there a common commitment to the Kingdom of God?
  • Is he/she teachable?
  • You don’t want someone who is so spiritually minded that they are no earthly good!

b.(Prov. 20:6 AMP) He/she must display faithfulness!

  • (Luke 16:10-12 AMP)
  • Faithfulness in finances is a priority!
  • Tithing faithfulness to God
  • Job/career – doesn’t job hop
  • Is he deep in debt?
  • (Prov. 19:22 AMP) Loyalty and kindness is a priority

c.What do you want out of life?

  • Are our life goals in harmony?

d.Does he/she have self-control?

  • Is he/she in command of his temper, emotions, his passions, behavior, money, sex drive?

e.Is there harmony at home?

  • How does he/she get along with his/her own family?

f.Is this the proper time?

  • Three important questions to consider when determining proper timing: parental consent, financial readiness, and educational goals.

g.What is my gift to this person and what is their gift to me? (Prov. 22:6)

B.10 Foundations of a Strong Marriage

  1. Truth. A marriage must have its foundation in the truth of God’s Word. God’s Word must be our blueprint for successful marriage.

a.Truthfulness or honesty in everything between a husband and wife is what fosters trust.

  1. Love. Agape love is self-denying and self-giving, sacrificial love described in (1 Cor. 13:4-7 AMP).
  1. Trust. Trust enables a husband and wife to enjoy a relationship characterized by openness and transparency, with NO SECRETS or locked rooms that are kept off limits to each other.
  2. Commitment. Commitment is the lifeblood of marriage. This commitment must be anchored in our relationship first to God and His institution of marriage. The marriage commitment is a lifelong commitment-covenant.
  3. Respect. To respect someone means to esteem that person, to consider him or her worth of high regard. There should be mutual respect between husbands and wives.
  4. Submission. Submission must be mutual just as respect is mutual. Submission is the willingness to give up our right to ourselves, to freely surrender our insistence on having our own way all the time.
  5. Knowledge. Failure in anything including marriage is usually the result of lack of knowledge (Hos. 4:6). With all the resources that are currently available, and because so much is at stake, there is no excuse today for marital ignorance or illiteracy.

a.This is why a period of courtship and engagement is so important and why premarital counseling is indispensable.

  1. Faithfulness. Faithfulness is closely related to commitment and trust. Faithfulness involves more than just sexual fidelity.

a.Being faithful to your wife means defending her and affirming her beauty, intelligence, and integrity at all times, particularly before other people.

b.Faithfulness to your husband means sticking up for him, always building him up and never tearing him down.

  1. Patience. Because marriage brings together two totally different people with different experiences, backgrounds, temperaments, likes, dislikes, strengths, and sometimes even cultures all couples will have to make some major adjustments in their lives.
  2. Financial stability. Love, truth, trust, commitment, respect, submission, knowledge, faithfulness, and patience do not pay the rent or put food on the table. Financial difficulty is one of the main causes of marital failure.