Why engage in ecumenical and interfaith dialogue?
- We have important and meaningful interfaith relationships in thecommunities we live in
- We have mission partnerships with people around the world and seek tosupport them in their
struggle for justice - We are part of a church that is united and uniting, and dedicated to ChristianUnity
- We are part of wider global and national ecumenical networks (WCC, MCC,NCCC)
- We seek justice, peace and reconciliation for all people
- We have an opportunity to model a faithful way to talk about conflict
- Our hearts and heads may open in ways we did not know possible
- We may help our partners and neighbors to open their hearts and see in newways
- Christ calls us to be peacemakers
Covenant for Conversations and Presentations in an Interfaith Setting
Taken from Building Abrahamic Partnerships, Hartford Seminary, under the direction
of Yehezkel Landau.
We agree to:
Listen with a view of wanting to understand, rather than listening with a view ofcountering what we hear;
Listen for strengths so as to affirm and learn, rather than for listening forweaknesses so as to discount and devalue.
Speak for ourselves from our own understanding and experiences, rather thanspeaking based on our assumptions about others’ positions and motives.
Accept others’ experiences as real and valid for them, rather than critiquingothers’ experiences as distorted or invalid.
Honor silence rather than using silence to gain advantage.
Ten Things to Keep In Mind When Participating in Dialogue
1. Let it begin with me - reaching out to extend hand of fellowship is good place to start. Bethe one to initiate relationships if you have an interest in building them.
2. Relationships are part of the substance, not just by-product, of dialogue - we seek to be inright relationship with people of different faiths, and this is where all good dialogue starts
3. Remember that the conversation does not start and end with you - we are all part of alonger Muslim-Christian, Jewish-Christian or ecumenical relationship. We need to takethe past seriously. Be aware of some of the tensions from past mistakes/conflicts amongChurches and between Christians and other traditions.
4. Speak your truth - Being authentic is an important component of dialogue. Explain yourown view of things clearly and honestly– share your faith, your concern for justice, yourhistory, your perspective. Be consistent, and transparent.
5. Listen to understand and to learn from others. Do not assume you already know thehistory or position or interests of interfaith and ecumenical partners. Ask questions andlet them help you see the world from their point of view.
6. Be willing to take the time to build trust - and don't start with the tough stuff - get toknow people before diving in deep.
7. Spend time in fellowship and in community - plan to attend events/activities in otherpeople’s places of worship, or to participate in interfaith gatherings. It helps buildrelationships if you are engaged in more than just dialogue on hot topics.
8. Express solidarity – visit with partners, show support, hear their concerns, and expresscompassion and love by action as well as words.
9. Do some background research - books, film, google - take some ownership for expandingyour understanding of other cultures, histories etc.
10. Don’t be so afraid of making a mistake that you don’t even get started. Be humble andwilling to learn, and you will gain experience as you go along.
Some Key Principles For Engaging in Difficult Conversations
1. Understand that there is a difference between positions and interests. Emphasizingshared interests can help move people away from arguing about positions, to findcommon ground. Identifying different interests can help you think about ways to addresseach person’s needs.
a. A position is a stance taken on an issue or a demand
b. Interests are the underlying concerns or needs that lead someone to take a certainposition
2. Ask open ended questions to get at core interests behind positions
- What is at stake for you? Why does this matter to you?
3. Consider the difference between impact and intention. People's actions can havenegative impact without their having bad motives.
a. Try not to assume negative intention too quickly
b. Explain the impact that actions have on you so that others understand.
4. Remember there often are differences in perception in conflicts. Each person takesdifferent data points into account when remembering a situation; try not to assume youknow the reason why someone has come to a particular conclusion.
a. Ask people to articulate what they are basing their opinions on. What informationare they using? What sources? How did they come to see the situation this way?
b. Help people understand the data or sources that helped you form your opinions.
5. Acknowledge deep emotion
a. Emotion is a sign that something important to the other person is at stake. Thiscan be understood as a “core concern” – something central to their identity,dignity, or values.
b. Don't trivialize or ignore emotion. Be prepared to receive/engage strong feelings
with compassion.
c. Acknowledge that you understand that this is emotional, meaningful, or difficultfor the other.
6. Summarize key points of the other person’s comments
a. You do not have to agree, but try to show that you have heard what they said. This helps the other person be ready to hear your position and interests.
This material was drawn from a variety of sources including the following: the training manual for the HarvardMediation Program; the Difficult Conversations executive education programs taught by Doug Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen; and the Beyond Reason executive education programs taught by Daniel Shapiro.
Practical Tools for Having Faithful Conversations
with Ecumenical/Interfaith Partners
- Gathering a diversity of voices
- Asking interfaith partners – who would be a speaker on this issue that yourespect? Who would need to be at the table for this to be authenticconversation in your eyes?
- Building Relationship with the speakers – are they people who can speak in away that honors our church’s care for one another? Can they speak from theheart as well as the head? Can they be respectful of people with diverseopinions? What would they need for the church forum to be safe andcomfortable for them?
- Setting up the Conversation in a Program
- Thinkcarefully about set up the conversation – chairs, tables, sound
- Who will moderate? Needs to be someone of strength and leadership,trust and ability to set limits, be neutral
- Consider having time limits, system to enforce, promote this clearly
- Attend to hospitality needs of the speakers, the listeners
- Promotional materials – be sure to promote the atmosphere you want to have
- Use words and images that make clear your purpose and intention. Prepare guidelines for all – speakers and listeners
- Will you have Q&A? If so, how to keep it safe?
- Have resources for the attendees with diverse opinion on the issue
- Behavioral Covenant – review behavior expectations, handout for all
- Will there be small group discussions? If so, need moderators
- Managing the Day – The Forum itself
- Openwith Interfaith Inclusive Prayer
- Set the tone – communicate clearly the goals and limits
- Welcome all equally – model respect and honor for all
- Share and review behavior covenant, intentions for the forum
- Have a plan for if anyone acts across a line of behavior covenant
- Remember you are modeling Jesus’ gospel calling in all you do
- After the day –
- Meet with anyone who is upset or needs more conversation
- Follow up with Interfaith partners
- Is follow up conversation needed? More speakers on the topic?
Suggested Reading for Engaging in Dialogue
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement withoutGiving In. Fisher, Roger, William Ury and Bruce Patton. New York: Penguin Books, 1991.
Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate. Fisher, Roger and Daniel L. Shapiro. NewYork: Viking Press, 2005.
Dignity: The Essential Role It Plays in Resolving Conflict. Hicks, Donna. New Haven: YaleUniversity Press, 2011.
The Little Book of Cool Tools for Hot Topics: Group Tools toFacilitate Meetings When Things are Hot. Kraybill, Ron and Evelyn Wright. Intercourse, Pennsylvania: Good Books, 2006
The Moral Imagination: The Art and Soul of Building Peace. Lederach, John Paul. Oxford University Press, 2005.
Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians.Lederach, John Paul. Harrisonberg,VA: Herald Press, 2014.
Nonviolent Communication: A Language for Life.Rosenberg. Marshall B., Ph.D. Encinitas,California: PuddleDancer Press, 2003.
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss WhatMatters Most. Stone Douglas, Sheila Heen and Bruce Patton. New York: Penguin Books, 2000.
Developed by the Task Force for Interfaith Action and Ecumenism, MA Conference United Church of Christ