Face it: people gossip. They always have, and they always will. You can't change that, but you can change what happens when a rumor comes your way.
Decide whether it's hurtful or harmless
When you hear something about someone you know and have the urge to pass it on, don't think about whether it's true or not. Instead, ask yourself these questions:
· Why do I want to pass this on?
· Would I want people to know this kind of information
about me?
· How will this person feel if he or she knew this rumor was being spread?
· Will this rumor reduce this person's status or make him or her excluded from the group?
Your answers will help you figure out the right thing to do.
Make the rumor stop with you
If you decide that the rumor is hurtful in some way, make a stand. Decide that you don't want to take part in spreading it. Others may continue to circulate the gossip, but you've made a personal choice to stay out of it. Chances are that the rumor will die out much more quickly than if you had joined the buzz.
Don't be an audience
When someone comes to you with a rumor, try not to be an audience. This person may want to hurt somebody, or may be after attention or power. It can be hard to resist hearing some juicy dish, especially if you're bored, but make an effort to say, "I'm not interested in hearing mean gossip, thanks."
Just like with physical bullying, there are no "innocent bystanders" with hurtful rumors. Hearing and reacting to the rumor, and letting it continue, makes you almost as responsible for its damage as the person who started it. Instead, don't provide another pair of ears for the rumor-starter. If he isn't getting the reaction or attention he's seeking, he'll be less likely to do it in the future.
Be a peacemaker
If one of your friends wants to hurt someone else by spreading lies or rumors, speak up. Let your friend know that this isn't the right thing to do. If you need to, find another friend who feels the same way and talk to the others together. If rumors are getting out of control and someone is being made a real victim, get a counselor or teacher involved.
Respect others' privacy
If you don't want other people talking about the personal things in your life, don't do it to others. When you hear personal information about a classmate or friend, try to keep it to yourself, and don't worry about whether it's true or not. If you respect people's privacy, they'll be more likely to do the same for you.
Get the facts
Most of the time, you should try to ignore gossip and rumors. But if you hear a rumor about something important, and it doesn't sound too crazy or far-fetched, ask a teacher, guardian, or parent what they think. If it's a modern legend that you find interesting, you can try searching on the Web to see if it's been proven fake or not. But remember not to believe everything you read, even on the Web!
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This page includes a variety of classroom activities that can be used to teach young children about prejudice, social justice, and the importance of looking at the world through the eyes of others. As the following exercise shows, teaching children about diversity does not have to be difficult or complicated -- it can be as simple as peeling a lemon.
When Life Hands You a Lemon, Peel It
Goal
To show children that despite outside differences, people are often similar on the inside.
Activity
Gather a group of young children and give one lemon to each child. Then ask the children to "get to know your lemon." Children will examine their lemons -- smell them, touch them, throw them in the air, and roll them around. After a few minutes, collect the lemons in a big basket, and ask the children to find their lemons in the pile. Remarkably, most children will recognize their lemons at once. Some will even get protective of them.
Next, ask the children to describe how they recognized their lemons. "My lemon was big," one might say. "My lemon had a mark on one side." And another, "My lemon had dents and bruises." Then talk about how people, too, come in different sizes, different shapes, different shades of color, different "dents and bruises."
After exploring these ideas, collect the lemons again but this time peel the lemons before placing them in the basket. Then ask the children to again find their lemon. Presented with this quandary, children will usually exclaim, "But the lemons all look the same!" This reaction opens the door to discussing how people, like lemons, are often similar on the inside.
This 15-minute activity can have a long-lasting effect, especially if children are reminded of the lesson in times of conflict.
Variations
The lesson also works well with apples or potatoes.
Source
Adapted from Stern-LaRosa, C. M. (2001). Talking to Your Child About Hatred and Prejudice, Anti-Defamation League.
A Seat on the Bus: Reversing Musical Chairs
Goal
To show children how they can turn exclusive situations in inclusive ones.
Activity
Begin with a classic game of "Musical Chairs":
1. Place chairs in a circle with one fewer chair than there are students.
2. Play music and have the children walk around the chairs.
3. Tell students that when the music stops, they should quickly find a seat.
Once they have done this and one person has nowhere to sit, challenge the group to find a way for everyone to have a seat. Children can sit on each other's laps, stand on the rungs connecting chair legs, or squeeze next to someone else on the same seat.
Continue with a few successive rounds in which an additional chair is removed each time. Every time the group accommodates someone who would normally be excluded in a traditional game of Musical Chairs, compliment the students on their creativity.
With each new round, the students will have more contact with each other and will be challenged to work even harder to find ways to be inclusive. You may also wish to connect this activity with historical information about Rosa Parks and the importance, literally and figuratively, of everyone having "a seat on the bus."
Source
Adapted from Activity #17 of Partners Against Hate Program Activity Guide, Ant-Defamation League.
Color Matching
Goal
To show every child that their skin color is unique and beautiful.
Activity
Have the children paint self-portraits, mixing colors to match their skin tone as closely as they can. When they are finished, ask them to think of a name for their color, such as "coffee," "peaches," or "olive."
What they will see is that everyone has a unique color, and that no one is truly "black" or "white." Then make a rainbow of colors drawn from everyone in the class. Emphasize that there is nothing wrong with noticing someone else's color, because everyone's color is unique and beautiful.
Point out that color is a good thing, because it makes life interesting and fun to look at. Without color, we wouldn't have as much fun watching the leaves change during autumn, and all our cartoons and paintings and TV shows would be in black and white.
Source
Adapted from What Makes People Different Colors?, Teaching Tolerance.
People Tags
Goal
To show how labels can influence our judgments about people, and to recognize the importance of getting to know people before making judgments about them.
Background
Labels are a useful way to organize information about people and events, but they all too often become substitutes for thought and experience. When labels are used as the sole source of information about other people, they limit our understanding and describe only one aspect of a person. "People Tags" is an activity that illustrates how misleading labels can be when applied to people.
Activity
1. Prepare the lesson by printing one copy of the People Tags page for every four students. Cut up the page so that there are 4 people cards (Uncle Frederick, Aunt Mina, etc.), 8 object cards (dictionary, clock, etc.), and 4 fact cards in each set.
2. Divide students into groups of four. Give each group a set of 4 people cards and 8 object cards. Do not give out the fact cards yet.
3. Tell students to imagine they are doing holiday shopping for 4 relatives:
o Uncle Frederick, a motorcycle rider
o Aunt Mina, a librarian
o Cousin Wei, a Navy recruit
o Great-Aunt Keesha, a senior citizen
4. Ask students to choose a gift for each relative from the 8 object cards.
5. Then, after a few minutes, ask students:
o Who gave Uncle Frederick the leather jacket? Cousin Wei the tattoo? Great-Aunt Keesha the rocking chair?
o How did you decide who would get each gift?
o How did labels like "motorcycle rider" and "senior citizen" influence your choices?
6. Pass out the fact cards and give students time to use this information in making their final gift choices.
Discussion
After students have finished deciding on gifts, ask the following questions:
1. What were the final gift choices you made, and why?
2. How did the new information change your gift choices?
3. What happens when we rely too much on labels?
4. If you had to choose a gift for someone you didn't know well, what could you do to make a good choice?
5. If someone new joined our class and we wanted to make that person feel welcome, what could we do?
6. Are there any other times when it would help to learn more about someone before making a judgment?
Sources
Adapted from Looking at Ourselves and Others, U.S. Peace Corps, and Common Threads (International Solidarity Program of the Ontario Secondary School Teachers' Federation).
http://www.understandingprejudice.org/teach/elemact.htm
©2002-2012, S. Plous
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Games to Teach Kids Not to Gossip
Tasos Vossos
Tasos Vossos has been a professional journalist since 2008. He has previously worked as a staff writer for "Eleftheros Tipos," a leading newspaper of Greece, and is currently a London-based sports reporter for Perform Sports Media in the United Kingdom. He holds a Bachelor of Arts in communication and media from the University of Athens.
By Tasos Vossos, eHow Contributor
Gossiping between children can damage strong friendships.
Gossiping refers to the spreading of rumors about a person -- unverified information that circulates from mouth to mouth. Gossips are just small tidbits, which, however, can damage a person's reputation and destroy your relationship of trust with him. Young children's curiosity and lack of knowledge of gossiping's consequences can lead them to spread rumors. For this purpose, a number of simple games can help youngsters understand why it is
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1.
Telephone
o "Telephone" -- otherwise called "gossip" -- is a game that teaches children how information spread from mouth to mouth are gradually altered in the process. Ask children to sit in a circle and join them. Whisper two trivial sentences on the ear of the child sitting to your right and ask him to repeat what he heard to the kid sitting to his right. When the rumor finally reaches the kid to your left, ask her to say the two sentences aloud. Chances are, the sentences the final child says will be much distorted from the originals. Reveal your version of the sentences. Afterward, explain that -- as in the game -- gossip goes around easily, but its contents can easily change too, resulting in exaggerations and misunderstandings.
Quick-Fire Gossip
o Children must learn how to examine the source of a statement, the statement's contents and the reason it was mentioned, to determine whether is it gossip or a legitimate piece of information. Prepare a set of flashcards, each containing a short sentence, such as "Peter can't dance" and "Stallone is a good actor." On each flashcard, include the source of the sentence, like "New York Times critic" or "a friend of friend." Spread the flashcards in front of one child at a time and tell him to answer quickly whether they contain a gossip or not. The child who gave the most correct answers within 20 seconds is the winner.
Gossip Clue
o Use a board of "Clue," along with all characters' pieces. Explain to children that Dr. Black has vanished, because rumors about his professional expertise harmed his reputation. Replace lethal weapons with folded pieces of paper, which include a small sentence about Dr. Black's relationship with the other characters. For example, say that Colonel Mustard has been a close friend of Dr. Black, or that Mrs. Peacock was annoyed by his noisy children. Players must move around according to standard Clue rules, read the papers and speculate on who the gossiper is. This game helps children understand that gossiping is a form of backstabbing from people you have bad relations with.
Alternatives to Gossip
o A parent or teacher must be the judge in this game. Give the children an example of a rumor and ask them how they could be transformed in honest conversations. For example, "Dave is afraid of cats" could become "Dave, why are you afraid of cats?" and "Gina cannot do a back-flip" can be better reworded as "Gina, would you like to practice your backflip with us?" Each child must think of an answer within five seconds or she is eliminated. The judge's role is to determine whether children have come up with meaningful phrases, relevant to the rumor. The last player in the game is the winner.