2 Tipos DurosSubtítulos: LASERFILM
What's your name?
Jacinto Casar.
Jacinto, you owe money.
Yes, I do, a bit.
No, not a bit.
A lot.
And the deadline
was up two weeks ago.
I thought it was
the end of the month.
Are you being a wise guy?
Listen!
It's happened before
but they never got like this!
Not my fingers, please!
I'm a pianist!
You're a fucking jerk-off!
You know why I'm here?
They hired me
because they want you to pay.
I'm taping this,
and if you don't pay
we'll send it to your wife.
You don't want that, do you?
She'd find out about
your dealings in Colombia.
Colombia?
What dealings?
I know nothing about Colombia.
Anyway, I've been
living with a tenor for years.
With a tenor?
Are you going to pay or not?
I promise I'm going to pay.
I'll pay a bit every month.
I didn't know they were
so drastic about it,
but of course I'll fucking pay!
Good, that's better.
The leaflet
said nothing about this.
If I'd known, I'd never
have asked for the card.
What card?
[Paco!]
[-Are you there?]
-Don't move.
[It's me, Tomás.]
[Open the fucking door.]
-What?
-We've found him.
-Found who?
-Jacinto Casar.
-Who's that?
-Shit, it's Jacinto Casar.
That's not Jacinto Casar.
-You, what's your name?
-Jacinto Casar.
Fucking hell,
they've got the same name!
-Are you sure it's not him?
-Yeah, I know him!
Why did you say
you owed money?
-My Corte Inglés card.
[-]Your Corte Inglés...?
You think I work
for the Corte Inglés?
I don't know!
What an asshole! Why the hell
are you called Jacinto Casar?
-Fuck it!
-Come on, help me.
It's not the man's fault.
He won't be
picking his nose again.
It was a mistake.
Anyone can make a mistake.
That's it.
Leave him outside.
I'm sorry about...
Take it easy, take it easy.
Hey, what about my money?
What money? You want...
You want paid
for torturing the wrong guy?
Come off it!
By the way, Don Rodrigo
is looking for you.
Have you not paid him yet?
Have I not...?
2 TOUGH GUYS
Fuck, Raulito!
Going on a trip?
No, I'm putting away
my winter clothes.
Don Rodrigo wants to see you.
Yeah.
How are things, Paco?
Well...
You used to come
and see me more often.
That was when you had
to ask me for money.
How much do you owe me?
Seven million, isn't it?
-42,000 euros.
-The hell with euros!
I lent you seven million pesetas
18 months ago,
and I haven't seen
a sign of you since then.
So it can't be such a pleasure
to see me.
Don Rodrigo, things are...
You didn't make
any of the repayments.
If it weren't you,
I'd think you were
laughing at me.
Don Rodrigo, that...
Touch me again
and you're dead!
Don Rodrigo,
I wouldn't dream of laughing
at you. And I'm going to pay.
I'm a man of my word,
you know that.
What a character!
I like you.
I've always liked you.
But a debt is a debt.
It's not you,
it's what people will say.
You say you'll pay,
and I believe you.
But, when?
Let's see, Paquillo.
What would you say
if I gave you another month?
-I'd say thank you.
-Well, that's what I'm going to do.
Yeah,
and in exchange for what?
In exchange for something.
It's always like that.
You may not know
that I've got a nephew.
His name is Alex.
He's lived in Barcelona
all his life.
I promised his mother
on her death bed
that I'd look after him.
His father was a strange man,
very difficult.
Unfortunately,
he had a tragic death.
He fell into a tank of cement.
I sent the boy
to a boarding school,
but he had
a few problems adapting
and I took him out of there.
He's a good boy.
He's got qualities.
All he needs
is someone to guide him.
I don't see what I can do,
Don Rodrigo.
Latest model, eh?
With automatic transmission?
You have
the latest in music too.
I thought hired killers
listened to other things.
But if you listen to this
for long,
I guess you end up
wanting to kill somebody, right?
So what's your name?
Paco.
Shit, no, I mean,
professionally what's your name?
-Paco.
-Don't you have a nickname?
Like...
"Killer Paco",
"The Subway Psycho",
"Hatchet Man".
Yes.
Francisco.
You could call yourself
Michael Knight,
like in "Knightrider".
What do you think, eh?
Shut your fucking mouth
or you'll get the car up your ass.
Rule No. 1:
My car is sacred.
Like my mother's sex life,
you don't mention it.
Rule No. 2: The music I play
in my car is also sacred,
whether it's the Vienna Boys Choir
or Bing Crosby. Got that?
Yeah, sure.
I didn't mean to annoy you.
I like all kinds of music,
really.
It's just that, as you're saying
nothing, I'm doing the talking.
Well, who do we have to kill?
What are you on about?
Are we not going to kill someone?
Are you not a hired killer?
I've been everything
in this life.
Gigolo, pool cleaner, messenger,
and a killer too.
Everything but a faggot,
got that?
Yes.
But my uncle told me
that's why I was with you.
-Look, have you ever seen a gun?
-Of course.
You think they play tiddlywinks
at my uncle's house, or what?
All right, then.
Go ahead, smart ass.
If you've got the balls,
shoot that guy.
With the window up or down?
Down.
What the fuck...!
-Who opened your cage?
-I did what you told me, right?
Would you jump off a bridge
if I told you to?
You're a real asshole!
And you're a lousy shot,
you didn't even hit him!
-Didn't you see how far it was?
-How far it was!
What a dump!
Have you got
no one to clean it?
Yeah, I do.
From tomorrow, you.
That's your bed.
Goodnight.
Give me a blanket, at least.
WET
-Javier, is Reme here?
-Yeah, I'll get her.
-This is a whore house, isn't it?
-No.
I thought
it was a hardware store.
You think it got its name
from the leaks?
-I've never been in one before.
-Go and check it out.
I will.
Hi, Reme. I'm returning
your video camera.
-Was it any use?
-To be honest, no.
-Who's that with the camera?
-Don Rodrigo's nephew.
I got stuck with him,
but just for a few days.
Part of a debt.
Why did you get
hooked on bingo?
Not anymore, Reme.
But it beats being a whore.
Hey, I don't practice now.
I'm manager and owner,
but I screw who I want.
Whatever you say.
Listen, Reme...
Any chance of a loan?
And I got stuck with...
You have to do me a favor.
-Can you lend me some money?
-What for?
Oh, no.
If you're broke,
go and jerk off.
The thing is...
What is it?
He's a virgin!
He's never screwed.
You didn't have to tell
the whole bar.
It's no big deal, kid.
All men were virgins once.
Whoever says different is a liar.
Her name is Tatiana.
You remember Yolanda,
Paco?
She went to Madrid
twenty years ago.
Of course! I had
some good times with her.
A nice girl.
-You see that kid?
-What?
Is that her daughter?
She sent her to me for a while.
But forget it.
She's too much for you.
I want to screw her,
not hear her life story.
Well?
How about it?
On my tab?
On your tab.
If you manage it.
Stop that, go away!
Hello.
I'll wait here for you.
I'll put this away.
Do you want a drink?
An orange soda. If that idiot
is a virgin, he won't be long.
What's your name?
Alex.
I'm Tatiana.
I know. Reme told me.
What else did she tell you?
That you were too much for me.
That's because
I don't go with just anybody.
But you seem special.
Really?
Don't you believe me?
I don't know.
This is the first time.
Really?
Don't you believe me?
May I buy you another drink?
You're barking
up the wrong tree, princess.
You're not
even in the right forest.
No, don't get me wrong!
Good heavens!
I like women too.
My name is Gumersindo.
And you're Francisco Fuentes.
How do you know?
Because I've been
looking for you.
I represent someone
who wants you to do a job for him.
Very pretty.
She's my client's wife.
He wants her kidnapped.
-Get out of here, you clown!
-Listen to me.
I've heard good stuff about you.
Fermín Cachelos, the moneylender.
All right, talk.
It's like this.
My client's wife,
who's called Aramís,
is heiress to a lot of millions.
But her bastard of a father
won't die
and he won't
give them a penny.
He wants you to kidnap her
and ask for a ransom,
and then the father will pay.
How much?
One million euros.
What do I get?
300,000 euros.
-In pesetas?
-50 million.
Fuck!
My mother died
and so did my father.
I live with my uncle now.
He's a millionaire.
He's loaded, I told you.
Is he the guy downstairs?
Who, Paco?
No, like hell.
Paco works for him.
I'm spending
a while with him,
to learn the profession
and all that.
Listen, do you think
we could do it again?
If you pay once,
how many times can you do it?
We'll see.
Listen,
you like me, don't you?
Yeah, a lot.
Why?
I have to ask you a favor.
Here's an advance
of 600 euros.
For expenses.
And remember,
professionalism!
If you have to use violence,
don't be afraid to use it.
Don't worry.
I lay down the rules.
And if anyone tries
to mess with me, I'll kill her.
-Agreed?
-All right, all right.
My number,
and her husband's.
And the address
of their butcher's store.
The wife will be there.
Monica the Volcano,
Vaginal crater...
No, no, my mistake.
It's not that one.
It's this one.
I'll wait to hear from you.
Well!
That was quick.
And from the dumb expression
on your face, you enjoyed it.
Let's go,
We've got work to do.
-So long.
-So long, Paco.
Well, kid,
this is a good day.
You got your leg over
and we've got a job.
I was thinking that
maybe my luck has changed.
Have you nothing to say?
Did you leave your tongue upstairs?
-Listen, Paco.
-What?
-I...
-What is it?
It's another favor.
I get it.
You want another go.
This isn't the time.
Some other day.
But if this job works out, you can
screw until your dick falls off.
Yeah, but it isn't that.
-What's this?
[-]Hello.
I'm Tatiana.
I'm ready,
we can go when you want.
Go where?
-Didn't you tell him?
[-]Tell me what?
Well, you know,
that...
Maybe she could come with us.
Of course not, Alex.
Are you stupid?
I don't see why not.
It's just for a few days.
I think that...
You think?
You screw a whore
and then bring her along!
Watch it!
-I should watch it?
-Yes.
What do you do in there,
knit?
I know all about the problems
you whores have,
how you suffer,
how you're forced to do it,
but we're not
the Little Sisters of Charity!
No, you're hired killers.
I thought you couldn't be
more dumb, but I was wrong.
What the fuck did you tell her?
Nothing, just what we do,
you know.
Oh, really? What we do?
I'll show you what I do!
Do you think this is the way
to start a new job?
Leave him alone.
You have to accept it.
I know about
your debt with his uncle.
And anyway,
what's this about a new job?
You want me to tell the police
I know two killers with a new job?
Let's go.
I won't be any trouble,
and it's only for a few nights.
Then I'll be out of here.
Alex, get in!
I want to speak to Don Rodrigo.
This is Paco.
I'll hold.
Don Rodrigo, I resign.
No, I don't care.
Anything else
but not your nephew.
Of course.
No, of course not,
Don Rodrigo.
Certainly, of course.
Yes, a job may have come up.
Yes, it could be dangerous.
Don Rodrigo...
What?
Don Rodrigo...!
Shit!
Paco, what are you doing?
Please!
Don't shoot me!
For me?
Yes.
Your uncle wants you
to have a gun.
Thanks!
You see this?
With any luck,
you'll shoot yourself.
[-]No! Look at how I handle it.
[-]Stop that!
I'm going to bed, I'm tired.
Listen, Paco...
The couch
is very small for two.
You could be nice
and give us the bed.
You're on your own,
you could sleep on the couch.
I'll put out the light.
I'll give you a demonstration.
-Don't be stupid, give me that.
[-]What do you mean, "stupid"?
It's all right.
Don't worry, it went off
but it's all right. Nobody got hurt.
Go back to sleep, Paco.
Fucking asshole.
That's it, girls.
-Are you being served?
-No, I'm not, no.
What can I get you?
100 grams of bologna.
Thin, or thick?
I... It's... Maybe...
It's for a sandwich.
Anything else?
No, no.
One euro.
Come back soon.
-Goodbye, and thanks.
-Goodbye.
I've seen her,
and she's not bad, actually.
Well, then?
We could do it here
when they close.
This is a quiet street.
It's not a good idea.
-Weren't you leaving today?
-You're a real sweetheart.
What is it?
There must be
a police station nearby.
Yes, she's right.
This area isn't safe,
and as it isn't safe
we'll look for another area.
I'm off, all right?
Paco, couldn't she stay
and give us a hand?
You and I
can't do it on our own.
Yeah, sure! Do you think
this is an employment office?
I know you don't like me,
but you need help.
I could help by finding
a place to hide her, for example.
Yeah, and why
would you do that?
I'd do it for a price.
I need money.
And it could be fun.
All right. If you want to play
with us, that's up to you.
Find a house that's empty
and outside the town.
There can't be anyone within
a kilometer. We'll hide out there.
And if things go all right
we'll talk about money.
How can she look around
if she doesn't have a car?
Don't worry about me.
I know a few tricks.
See you later.
We're partners now, right?
So long!
She knows a few tricks
all right.
That's her.
Come on, follow her.
It's an old house
that's closed up
but there's a cellar
and you can get in that way.
It's very big and there's no one
around for kilometers.
All we need is a camping stove
for cooking and some light.
How do you know
no one will turn up?
I checked it out.
The owners are dead
and the children live abroad.
There's no guard
or anything.
It'll have to do.
This is the deal.
We do it tomorrow,
in her street,
it's quiet there.
You have to steal a van,
we can't use my car.
I'll watch the store.
You have to be there
at 7:30 exactly, not a minute later.
Then we'll follow her home.
You stay at the wheel,
I grab her, put her in the van,
and we head for the house.
That's the plan.
Got it?
What do I do?
You?
You have to buy some masks
and be our back-up
if anything goes wrong.
One thing!
We need a cell phone.
You don't trust me,
that's what it is!
No, it's not that.
Do you think I'm dumb?
Now that you mention it, yes.
I'm supposed to be here to learn,
and you trust her more than me.
My uncle wouldn't be
very happy about this.
All right.
You steal the van
and Tatiana will help you.
I can do it on my own.
OK, do it on your own
and Tatiana can help me.
And?
And?
Well...
You can help me grab her.
Happy?
Good.
Now we're talking.
What's so funny?
Let's get something clear.
This is not a game.
It requires
a lot of concentration.
If we forget anything,
it's all shot to hell. Understood?
Good.
Let's go over the plan.
Your arrival time
at the butcher's?
Christ Almighty!
What are you doing?
I couldn't sleep,
and I was hungry.
Want a sandwich?
Go back to bed.
I won't be long.
I didn't know
sex gave you an appetite.
I wanted to tell you something.
What?
It's just that...
It's neat that in the end
you trust in me to do this.
I was thinking, and I realized
that for you it's a big deal.
Really, my uncle
thinks I'm an asshole too.
And he may be right.
But I've never been able
to show him that I'm not.
I'd like this to turn out well
so he can see
I'm capable of doing a job.
Well, kidnapping isn't exactly
a job, but you know what I mean.
Yes.
I swear I'll be fucking great.
Yeah, now go to bed.
I'm going.
And thanks.
The refrigerator!
Fuck!
It's 7:50.
I'm a real dickhead!
-Why did I trust him?
-Calm down, there's still time.
Why did I...? I'll tell you what,
you go to her house.
That idiot might be there.
Wait for her. And if he isn't there,
wait for me. All right?
I'll follow her when she comes out
and think of something.
Was there nothing more discreet,
like a fire engine?
It was all I could find.
Get in!
-The cell phone?
-Was I to do that?
Fucking Christ Almighty!
-We've got a cell phone!
-Come on!
There she is!
Go on, follow her!
-Why were you so late?
-Don't talk to me!
I see the truck, I steal it,
and when I'm driving along
I find that!
-What's he doing there?
-The bastard was sleeping in there!
I hit him and put a bag on his head.
I don't know if I killed him.
-Did you get the masks?
-Yes. Here.
-Scary, aren't they?
-What the...?
-Watch where you're going!
-I can't see a fucking thing!
Where is she?
We've lost her!
Hello?
[-You stole my cell phone, idiot!]
-Go fuck yourself, bitch!
Over there!
Go on, follow her!
Where are you going?