Many students think that changing a few words of the original equals a paraphrase, but according to the Academic Integrity Handbook published by the Journalism Department of the University of Arizona*, it’s unacceptable to directly use even three to eight words of a source. They cite Judy Hunter, director of the writing lab at GrinnellCollege, who says this about paraphrasing:
In a bad paraphrase, you merely substitute words, borrowing the sentence structure of
the organization directly from the source. In a good paraphrase you offer your reader a
wholesale revision, a new way of seeing the text you are paraphrasing. You summarize,
you reconstruct, you tell your reader about what the source has said, but you do so entirely in your own words, your own voice, your own sentence structure, your own organization.*
Here is an example:
Original (from an article about a worldwide survey assessing corporate social responsibility): “U.S. companies are by far bigger givers than their global counterparts. . . . When [a recent] survey asked businesses why they give back, both U.S. and non-U.S. companies responded that their main motivation was to promote recruitment and retention. But U.S. companies stood apart on one critical point. Given a list of reasons for engaging in corporate social responsibility, Americans were by far the least likely to cite “saving the earth” as a motivator. In fact, only 21 percent said their efforts were motivated by this sort of idealism, compared with 40 percent worldwide.”
Inappropriate Paraphrase: U.S. companies give a lot more than foreign companies. A recent survey asked businesses why they contribute to social causes; both U.S. and foreign companies said their main motivation was for recruitment and retention. However, U.S. companies differed in a basic way. When asked to choose from a list of reasons to participate in corporate social responsibility, U.S. companies were the least likely to say they did it to “save the earth.” Only 21 percent said this sort of idealism motivated them, compared to 40 percent of foreign companies. [Analysis: Although many words are changed, the sentence structure and organizational pattern is similar.]
Appropriate Paraphrase: American companies seem far less motivated than their foreign
counterparts to engage in socially responsible policies because of environmental concerns, although they give far more overall to social causes. A recent survey, summarized in Inc. Magazine, June 2008, found that all companies worldwide chose responsible social policies mainly as a way to recruit and retain workers and customers. However, foreign companies checked off a box marked “saving the planet” 40 percent of the time whereas U.S. companies chose that motivation about half as often. [Analysis: This version summarizes the ideas in the speaker’s words; it also cites the source.]
Source: Hofman, M. (2008, June). The best cause of all. Inc. Magazine, 30(6), 23–24. Retrieved June 4, 2008, from the Business Source Complete database.
Now try your hand at it. Here’s a quotation about the same general topic of corporate social responsibility. First, write an inappropriate paraphrase by making a few substitutions and changing around a few phrases. Then write an appropriate paraphrase by summarizing the material into your own words.
[Radiohead’s album,] “All I Need,” which debuted earlier this month on MTV properties
worldwide . . . was created for MTV Exit (End Exploitation and Traffi cking), a multimedia initiative launched in Europe in 2004 by Viacom’s MTV Europe Foundation, an independent charity based in London. The effort includes the distribution of anti-human trafficking information at Radiohead’s concert tour in North America, Europe and Asia . . . The network’s efforts illustrate the growing use of branded-entertainment as a way to distribute corporate-responsibility campaigns, which are geared to creating deeper relationships with do-gooder consumers.
Source: Shanhaz, M. (2008, May 12). Good vibrations. Adweek, 49(16), Retrieved June 4, 2008, from Business Source Complete database.
*Department of Journalism. (n.d.). Academic Integrity Handbook. University of Arizona. Retrieved June 4, 2008, from
*Cited in the above.
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