Welcome to the Riviera Hash House Harriers !
(A DRINKING CLUB WITH A RUNNING PROBLEM)
What do RH3 Hashers do? Every second Sunday they run (or walk/amble slowly) around the beautiful Riviera countryside following a trail of flour that has been set by the ‘Hare’. They stop at least once for a ‘beer stop’ en route and after a bit more running/walking, end in a circle for more drinking, insulting each other and possibly singing before heading off ONON to a restaurant or party.
Who is it for? Anyone who wants a fun time with some running or walking, and beer, wine, food and humour (in the worst possible taste).
How do you follow theTRAIL? The pack of runners (the word is used loosely) will follow blobs of flour until reaching a CHECK (in flour) . The trail could go in any direction from here, but only one way will be the real trail, others will be FALSIES (terminated by an in flour) – if you get to an , go back to the and try again (not going back is shortcutting!) .
Walkers are given a easy route that a child could follow, but they usually get lost because they are too busy nattering the hind limbs off donkeys.
The best signs are the B which means the BEER STOP is nearby, and ON IN which means the end (and more beer) is imminent. No flour means ‘you have lost it’, go back until you find flour again.
Hint 1: When you see a , an arrow, B or ON IN it means you are on the right trail, at any other time you could be up a falsie!
Hint 2: Let the FRBs run the falsies, follow at a safe distance then you will have enough energy left for beer drinking.
Your new Hash vocabulary will consist of terms that are internationally unknown to normal people:
ON-ON !
/ 1. A shout at the start of the run to gird up the loins of Hashers2. To be shouted on sighting flour, helping less perceptive Hashers to find their way
3. Shouted to annoy the locals and to warn hunters not to shoot (if they are sober enough to remember that wild boar don’t shout)
4.The social event after the run where the objective is to get thrown out of anywhere that is too good for Hashers.
Are You ? / Question yelled by lost or lonely Hashers looking for the trail or beer. Anyone ahead should respond with a shout of "Checking", "On-On", "Looking" or "Lost". Alternately blow a whistle.
Beer Stop (B) / Resting point with beer, softy drinks and water half way along the trail (Note; the first half is usually longer than the second half – some runs have 3 or more halves). A good time to check out the other hashers or abuse the children/dogs (a common punishable offence).
Check / A flour mark () made by the Hare to confuse the FRBs and get them running up the falsies.
Checking / Shouted by Hashers who reach a check while looking for the trail to make other Hashers think they are doing something useful.
FRB / Front Running Bastards. Overachieving Hashers who forget that Hashing is non-competitive. A good trail will confuse the FRBs so that they regularly end up running past the rest of the pack.
Circle / After the trail a circle is formed so that everyone can share their experiences of the run and get to know each other. The circle is usually run by the RA or the GM and shortcutters, miscreants, visitors and other deviants are punished rewarded with a down down. This is a serious event demanding respect so that all can share the fun, filled with symbollock imagery. Do not wear hats or natter incessantly!
Down Down / The important honourable Hash tradition where a Hasher drinks a Beer ( other drinks allowed too) in a single swig. Upon completion, or as alternative to drinking it, inversion of the drinking vessel on the head, is absolutely necessary as proof of its accomplishment.
Falsie / False trail ending with a , to confuse FRBs.
Also, figure enhancing aid worn by female walkers, to confuse FRBs.
Hare / A Hasher who, with a co-hare, lays a trail for the pack to follow (obviously everyone else could do it much better).
Shiggy / Mud, rivers, spiky undergrowth, the sort of stuff that tells you that you are not on tarmac.
Winning / Completely alien concept to Hashers, like any competitive activity, regarded as a punishable offence.
Punishable offence / Totally iniquitous reason to reward a Hasher with a Down Down, as deemed appropriate by the Circle leader. Shortcutting (as defined as being not going all the way back to the check when a falsie is discovered) by an FRB is always a punishable offence. Shortcutting to get to the front when you’re not on a falsie is of course a praiseworthy effort.
Wankers Way / Trail for non-running hashers (walkers, wankers, weak-and-feeble-women, children, 3 legged dogs, badly hungover hashers, knacker old wornout hashers, etc).
Hash Name / A nickname bestowed upon a Hasher after a certain number of runs, often after some absurd or embarrassing event. It is considered bad form (even a punishable offence) to call a Hasher by another name whilst at the Hash.
Hash Virgin / Honourable title for first-timers who get a free run and beer in the desperate hope that they might come back again, despite the appalling company.
Shit of the Week / Person who performed the most despicable crime of the day during the Hash - awarded by popular vote. They get a special degrading down down during the circle.
______
Mismanagement
/ The illustrious committee responsible for mismanaging Hash affairs. Everything is their fault.Hash Master/ Mattress (GM) / Chairperson of the committee. Should be shown disrespect at every opportunity.
Religious Advisor (RA) / Responsible for ensuring observance of Hash rules and rituals. Duties include administration of awards and down downs, leading the congregation in various songs and generally being a pain in the arse to everyone.
Hash Cash / Treasurer/embezzler, responsible for getting money out of the Hashers who turn up. Always check your change!
Hash Trash / The RH3 newsletter, sent to members every 2 weeks or so, containing details of coming hashes and run reports (inaccuracy is obligatory). Also title of the person producing and distributing it.
Beermeister / Arranges purchase and positioning of beer. The most important Hash job. Be very nice to this person!
The RH3 has a web site which is meant to be out of date and useless, but sometimes by mistake can carry information like the location of the next hash and links to international Hash events (for those sad individuals who don’t have anything better to do).
If all this makes no sense at all, don’t worry, this is normal. When you start to understand it, you are probably becoming a Terminal Hasher, this is an incurable condition, so just have another beer and forget any thoughts of... whatever it was.....