Truth in Marriage
Week 23 – Power of Prayer & The Get-Away – Seasons, Planning, Renewing
Introduction:
This week we will explore two topics that seem unrelated, yet they are not. Prayer is the most intimate activity we can enter into with our spouse – even more intimate than sex! In prayer, the three can become one as husband, wife, and Father communion. In order for this to occur, we have to make time for it. Just as we make time for physical and emotional intimacy, we must make time for Spiritual intimacy alone with God and together as a couple. Therefore, a routine “get-away” plan is an essential part of our relationships.
The Power of Prayer
Christ, who is One with God all the days of His existence, would routinely break away from everyone to spend time in prayer with the Father. If this was so vital a necessity for Christ, we can only imagine how vital it is for us. Prayer is our intimate link to God. He desires for us to Love Him and to seek time with Him on a regular basis. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says that we are to “pray without ceasing”. Prayer is the most powerful gift God has given us, yet it is one of our least utilized. God desires for us to spend time with Him. And when our hearts are set on Him, He desires to give us all that we long for – Him.
Matthew 7:7-8
7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
Psalm 37:4
4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
How to Pray
Prayer seems intimidating to many people at first. It is awkward and unnatural, therefore many simply never try. Even Christ's Apostles were perplexed by prayer. In Luke 11, we even see where they asked Him to “teach” them to pray. From this encounter, we received the most well know prayer in the world – The Lords Prayer. Matthew 6 gives a parallel account of this time with even more detail on how to pray. Let's examine it more closely.
Matthew 6:5-13
“And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 6 But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.[b] 7 And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.
8 “Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. 9 In this manner, therefore, pray:
Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
13 And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.[c]
Many Christians misunderstand this prayer. It was not intended to be a prayer to be recited, but to serve as a model for how to intimately approach the Father in thanksgiving and request. I'm not saying it is wrong to recite the Lord's Prayer. Far from it. To hear hundreds, or thousands of people reciting this prayer in unison sends chills down your spine. You can feel the Power and Glory of God go out before you. What I am saying is that we need to be careful of repetitive prayer which becomes “vain” or without meaning. Many of our prayers become repetitious because we tend to ask of the same things until God answers. This is fine. However, we must be on guard for the time when the prayer changes from an intimate encounter into mundane routine.
We also see that prayer is to be a private, intimate encounter. Your intimate time with God should not be unlike your intimate time with your spouse. It is to be cherished, personal, and private. Jesus is not saying that you should not pray in public. Matthew 18:20 says “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Corporate prayer has a divine purpose as well. Jesus is speaking more to the intent of the prayer. We are never to pray for the acknowledgement of others. Prayer is an intimate approach to God alone, even when done corporately.
Effective and Ineffective Prayer
There are several things that can make prayer either effective or ineffective. Appendix I has an exert from “The Love Dare” that discusses many of these factors. Take the time to sit down together as a couple and discuss these elements. Look up the verses referenced. Discuss how you need to change to pray more effectively. Then, put it into action. Commit to regular prayer daily. Set times aside to pray alone. Also set time aside to pray together as a couple. You will find these times to be a great treasure when you look back on them in the years to come.
Prayer and Marital Intimacy
Think back to Week 18 & 19 when we discussed marital intimacy. We found that the emotional and physical where intricately connected. The two really can not be separated. The same holds with the spiritual. Without the spiritual component of marital intimacy, the emotional and physical eventually become just sex. The raging fire of lust eventually subsides into cold ashes. The law of diminishing returns overshadows each encounter. But when Spiritual Intimacy is nourished, marital intimacy takes on an eternal flame. Intimacy with God produces and intimacy with Him and ultimately with each other that does not die out. Instead it grows ever hotter and ever more sustained as God continuously renews your Souls and draws you closer to Him and one another.
It is my opinion that God gave us physical intimacy so that we could have a glimpse of the indescribable pleasure of being “wed” to Christ in the days to come. I find that my longings for time alone with God are very similar to my longing for time alone with my wife. Romans 8:26 says “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” God longs for us. And when we give ourselves to Christ, we find that we long for Him.
So when should be pray? Pray at church. Pray with friends. Pray with strangers who are struggling. Pray over meals. Pray with your children. Pray before trips for safe passage. Pray with your spouse. Pray before, during, and after you intimate times. Pray alone and in secret. “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”- Psalm 46:10. Pray without ceasing! When you have an intimate relationship with God, prayer is not some formal, stiff thing that you do on occasion. Instead prayer becomes a constant conversation with a treasured Friend and Lover.
The Get-Away
In Week 10 we discussed the importance of making time to date and be a couple. Today, we discussed the importance of spending time with God. Each of us must make a deliberate point to allocate time for these in our daily lives. But, we also need to make time in our lives for extended devoted time of longer periods. The hustle and bustle of life makes it very difficult to think, much less have intimacy. Therefore, at times, we have to get away from it all. That is where the Get-Away comes in.
Each year, you should plan Get-Aways of at least 3 days for the purpose of intimacy. All of these Get-Aways will have intimate time with your spouse and God. Some may be designed for intimate time with your kids. And some are to just sort out the bigger issues of life. The focus of each Get-Away will differ depending on the current season of your life. The one over arching theme is that they occur. We see the basis for this in the Old Testament. God not only commanded His people to have a day of rest every 7 days, but there where regularly occurring times of prayer, celebration, and thanksgiving each year. The message is clear – one day a weak to recharge is simple not enough! This fact is near to our hearts in the current culture. People feel “burnout” and it is a real struggle to stay connected, even within our own homes. Get-Aways are not a luxury, they are an essential.
Get-Aways can also be a singular activity. There will be seasons of life where the need to seek God will be paramount. In these times, withdrawing and going away to spend time alone with God is the only thing that can make life right again. When these times arise, we need to be careful to support our spouses and not only allow, but encourage them to take the time they need alone with God to be restored. Periodic women's and men's retreats are even a good form of preventative maintenance. Remember that Christ spent time alone with the Father, time with individuals, time in small groups, and time in large groups. All have their time and their purpose. So, make time for Get-Aways to meet the current and future needs of your life, marriage, and family. These are not selfish pursuits, they are necessities. If we are not in a right relationship with God, it will be impossible to function as the loving servants God has called us to be.
A good source for planning different kinds of Get-Aways is included in the Extra Reading section below.
Extra Resources:
Getting Away to Get it Together: A Getaway Guide for Couples
By: Bill Wellons, Carolyn Wellons
Familylife / Paperback
The Love Dare
By: Stephen Kendrick, Alex Kendrick
B&H Books / 2013 / Paperback
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