“We’re Here and we’re Queer”Alyssia Vallejo
In today’s generation, many people believe that “becoming” gay or bisexual is a cool thing. But what they don’t realize is that people who are actually gay are having issues coming out to their loved ones and accepting themselves. Some people don’t wish to come out because of fear that they’ll become hated or that they’ll be ridiculed/bullied; sometimes it even goes as far as someone committing suicide or being murdered. For this scholarship I interviewed my friend who has come out to his friends but not to his family.
My friend, who we’ll call Jim, said that he first knew that he liked guys when he was in the seventh grade; but because of how people acted about people being gay, he cast that thought aside hoping that his feelings would go away. However, Jim was certain that he liked guys between eighth and ninth grade. But even though Jim was certain he liked guys in ninth grade, he thought “maybe I’m just bi-sexual.”
I asked Jim how he felt about coming out publicly since his acceptance of his sexuality. Jim says that the thought has crossed his mind but he does not care what the public thinks of him, but it’s his parents that he is worried about. Jim said he couldn’t care less what ‘society’ thinks of him being gay because gay people are not the only outcasts; there are plenty of other people looked down upon. However, Jim did state that due to how people go about treating homosexuals he has wished that he was heterosexual instead so he would not be discriminated against. But Jim says that now that he doesn’t care what society thinks, he no longer wishes to be heterosexual because he is his own person and he’s not going to change himself because he’s told to.
When Jim was asked why he was worried about his parents’ reaction to him being homosexual, he said it was because he was scared they were going to shun him and kick him out. Jim believes that his parents would need time to accept his sexuality. He said he’s had choices before where he tried to tell his mother or she asked him, but due to her choice of words Jim could tell that his mother did not understand that his sexuality wasn’t a choice. But Jim believes that his mother believes it is a personal choice due to how she was raised and not because of social media and society.
I asked Jim if he personally believes that society has made it hard for people to come out that their homosexual or even allow themselves to realize that they are/might be homosexual. Jim responded by saying, yes, the way society and people are, it’s like their first mindset when even questioning themselves is that they won’t be normal and won’t fit in if they are homosexual, so many people just suppress their feelings. So basically, society encourages people to ignore their emotions and continue life as closet cases. He also believes that people are so unaccepting of others sexualities because they let their personal beliefs get in the way. They don’t stop and take the time to think “hey, this is a person and we should respect them.” However, they’re hypocrites because they choose to believe only certain things in the bible such as homosexuality being a sin, but so is divorce yet people tend to ignore that section and go on with their merry lives. Jim also believe that people are against homosexuality because of how they feel about people being different, so some people just use the bible as an excuse to bash on other people and feel good about themselves.
The question that is always up for debate, do people choose their sexuality? Jim believes that it’s not something you choose because why would someone choose a path of discrimination or having their rights limited? Jim also believes that forcing their opinions on same-sex couples also effects how the child feels about their sexuality and coming out. Another factor that determines if somebody will keep their sexuality to themselves is based on where they live. For an example, people who live in places like Russia, where it is ‘acceptable’ to bash, arrest, and abuse people who are homosexual or even just support homosexuals, are more likely to keep it to themselves because they are in fear of their life. Jim believes that people who try to suppress who they are or tell themselves that they aren’t homosexual will become confused and grow to hate themselves because everyone around them hates that kind of a person.
Jim believes that people who show that they are blatantly against same-sex marriage don’t realize that they’re taking away peoples freedom, but are just doing what they think is right. However, there are some cases were people know exactly how they’re effecting and hurting others; but for some it’s just been driven into their heads. But Jim also believes that some people can change their opinions on homosexuality and same-sex marriage; especially if someone they care about comes out and they don’t want to hate them. When asked if certain people came out that they were homosexual, such as famous stars or popular students, would some peoples opinion change? Jim answered boy yes and no. He believes that though it may make it a little more accepting due their influence, there are also celebrities who are scared themselves because they fear it could possibly ruin their fan base. Jim said a way to decrease the amount of people that are discriminated against is if someone with great influential power opposes it and try to remove or ban certain things that people can do. As for a way to increase the acceptance of others, a simple solution would be if same-sex marriage was made legal. Though some people oppose it now, after a while it will just seem a normal part of life that people can marry whoever they want to.