WE OPEN ON: HOLLYWOOD- Day
EXT. THE PARK
Milo and Nite take pictures of each other with disposable cameras. They prance around a gazebo, playing flash tag.
NITE: (taking a picture) You're it Milo!
Milo flips a switch, then takes another picture of Nite. The flash is to bright, and Nite goes blind for a few seconds. He screams, falling to the ground.
NITE: (cont.) You two cent whore!
Milo walks up to him, slamming her foot down in his crotch.
NITE: [*odd*] HMMPHooey! [*angry*]
MILO: (throwing camera down at his face) I hate you!
She walks away. Nite holds his crotch, rocking himself back and forth in the wet grass.
CUT TO: DE'S THREAD
DeraiLer lies on his roof. He drinks some botteled Dial. Suddenly Shadow climbs up a ladder. Watching him.
SHADOW: It's not supposed to be used that way. I thought we went through this all ready!
We hold on Shadow, as the bottle comes soaring his way. It hits him in the forehead, and he goes tipping back on the ladder.
SHADOW: (tilt walking into the street) No! (a car rushes by) PLEASE!
The car SMASHES the bottom portion of the ladder. Shadow tips over, falling down quickly. He falls into a manhole.
We pan over to the roof. DeraiLer is answering is phone.
DE: (into phone) Railer.
He listens in for a moment.
DE: (cont.- into phone) All right, I'll be there.
He hangs up.
CUT TO: THE SEWER- Dark
Shadow lifts himself up. He dusts himself off. A rat crawls out of his left ear. He looks around.
Suddenly something walks his way.
SHADOW: Madness? Is that you?
MADNESS: Yeah. Are you okay? (Shadow shrugs) Follow me.
The two walk into the darkness.
CUT TO: SECRET HEADQUARTERS
Shadow and Madness climb up a giant toilet hole. They roll themselves out, and up to a big monitor. Rumblewolf spins around in a chair, sipping some Orange Juice.
MADNESS: How we doin'?
RUMBLE: (spinng back to the screen) Just sent in a few pictures of me.
Madness looks at the screen. Thirty pictures have been loaded.
SHADOW: What [i]is[/i] going on?
RUMBLE: (getting up) I'll answer that.
He sits his drink down, walking up to Shadow. Now Madness gets in the chair, typing something. Rumble puts a hand around Shadow's shoulders. They approach the monitor.
RUMBLE: Five days ago, Nite sent in his girlie girl to seek out and flirt with Boogeywoman. We've got a counter attack planned out, and we need you to help us.
SHADOW: Anything man. Unless... maybe I don't want to.
MADNESS: We'll pay.
SHADOW: Yeah okay, sure.
Madness sips Rumble's juice.
RUMBLE: (to Madness) You son of a bitch!
WE FADE OUT.
CUT TO: ALLEYWAY
Milo runs into it, crying. She wipes away a few tears, and slides down the building side. A moment passes.
Suddenly a flash of darkness appears, only to disappear a few seconds after. Milo gets up, looking at the end of the alley.
MILO: Someone there?
Just then, Boogeywoman comes out... walking as if she were in a porno. Up above, DeraiLer hops over the rooftops with his video camera a big bunny porno pamplet.
MILO: Boogeywoman?
BOOGEY: (up to her face) Yeah, it's me all right.
MILO: I hear you like Shadow, and I also hear you're a...
Boogey locks lips with Milo.
MILO: (cont.) Bisexual.
Boogey cocks her head.
BOOGEY: What? Who says?
MILO: Umm, I can't tell you. Hey, didn't you just kiss me?
BOOGEY: Well that's how I say hi, but I'm no...
MILO: Look Boogey, I've seen DeraiLer's secret footage.
BOOGEY: Hah! I've seen more than that.
The two girls walk out of the alleyway.
EXT. SIDEWALK
They pass a beauty palor.
MILO: Are you single?
They pass a jellybean shop. Shadow is stuck inside a gumball machine. He watches the two pass by, through a glass.
BOOGEY: Maybe.
They put their arms around each other, walking around the corner.
CUT TO: POLICE STATION- Later
DeraiLer comes in. He tosses a tape on Bub's desk.
DE: Okay, here it is. Where's The Magician?
Bub takes the tape, and waves him away into the back.
INT. MAGE'S OFFICE
The Magician stares at a picture. A sad expression.
MAGE: (to picture) I swear on your grave. I will avenge you.
We cut to the picture. A picture of a black lab. "Dog" to the retardees.
DeraiLer comes in. The Magician sits up loading a pistol, and putting it in his holster.
DE: Ready to cruise? We gotta' new assignment, (walking away) so come on.
MAGE: (standing up straight) Where the hell are we going? What route?
DE: It's a surprise.
The Magician waits a moment.
MAGE: (to himself- now headed out) Oh, I love surprises.
INT. FRONT ROOM
Bub flips to a channel on the big screen television. DeraiLer and The Magician walk by.
BUB: (putting hand out) Hey guys! Take a look!
They stop, watching the TV. Madness, Rumble, and Shadow in their sewer base. They are watching a monitor... which follows Boogey and Milo high. The three slap hands, and prance around.
We pan back over to the three cops.
MAGE: Great, so I remember the memo. Shadow fell for it I take it?
DE: (nodding) Literally. (to Bub) Okay Bub, nice spy show. We're leaving now.
They start walking away.
BUB: The Spy Show? I thought it was Dr. Phil!
Bub trips a passing female cop. She turns over, looking at him. Shocked.
BUB: [*hibaby*] What's up?
She rolls her eyes.
CUT TO: PARKING LOT
The Magician hops in on the driver's side. Old De get in the passenger's seat of this cool silver...
[b]CommentaryMage[/b]: Ah hell... it's this damn thing below.
[img]http://www.boxofficeprophets.com/images2/hollywoodhomicidekim.jpg[/center][/img]
[b]CommentaryMage[/b]: Son of a bitch! Dead link!
[img]http://films.lpros.ru/foto/hollywood_homicide2.jpg[/center][/img]
[b]CommentaryMage[/b]: D'oh-eth!
The Magician starts the engine, and they take off. The H.H. theme starts to play.
CUT TO: WARNER BROS. TOWER
Boogey and Milo head up with big oatmeal cookies. From the side, Madness comes out of a sewer tunnel. We see Rumble for a moment, scratching his ass. He heads back into the darkness.
We cut back over to the two girls. Madness approaches them.
MADNESS: Beautiful day, eh?
BOOGEY: Yeah.
MILO: Are you a Ninja Turtle?
MADNESS: Excuse me?
MILO: Well I saw you coming out of the sewer and all, I just...
BOOGEY: Yeah, where's Splinter?
Madness looks at the camera, with one raised eyebrow. [b]DirectorMage[/b] is hastely, tastely flipping through the script.
Madness turns back to the girls.
MADNESS: Uuuh, he went out to get... cheeseburgers.
MILO: I thought you guys at pizza.
Madness sighs. Rumble comes out of the darkness with a tranquilizer gun. He fires at Milo's neck. She falls unconscience. Boogey looks down at this, then gets a dart in her neck too. She pulls it out, licking the tip.
BOOGEY: Some future this is! The popsicle juice tastes like...
She falls unconscience now too.
Rumble comes running out. Madness takes Milo by the feet, and Rumble takes Boogey. They drag the girls out of the studio.
MADNESS: Perhaps a change in scenery.
RUMBLE: Perhaps, indeed.
They continue.
WE CUT TO: STREET CORNER
The bad ass car heads along, turning at the red light.
CUT TO: STREET ALAKAZAAM
The car heads up.
DE: Okay, this is it.
Mage presses the brakes. The two get out, and get up onto the sidewalk. The two lock and load their guns.
CUT TO: LENS DEPOT
INT. FRONT OFFICE
DeraiLer leads Mage past the front office.
DE: I was here buying a lens yesterday, when I overheard this Nite fellow... Milo's boylie boy... say the name 'Rumble'.
INT. PACKAGING ROOM
They pass a few boxes.
DE: (cont.) Now either he works here, and we make him tell us what he knows... or I need to lay off the soap.
MAGE: (sniffing the air) Dial again? You used to get so wasted on that stuff.
DE: Hey, I didn't bring up your oil drinking habit... did I?!
The Magician shakes his head.
-VOICE-: Can I help you?
DeraiLer and The Magician turn to a man in a blue work suit.
DE: Do you have a man here by the name of Rumble?
BUMBLE: Yeah but I'm his brother. Bumble.
The Magician opens fire... sending five bullets into the worker's chest.
BUMBLE: Hak! Hak! Hak! Huron! Hak!
Bumble falls dead. The Magician walks away. DeraiLer follows.
DE: (appalled) What was that for?!
No answer.
INT. FRONT OFFICE
The Magician heads for the door.
DE: Hey Mage?
He walks out the door... De goes too.
CUT TO: STREET ALAKAZAAM
The Magician gets in the drivers' side again. DeraiLer gets in the other side. The doors shut.
DE: (turning to Mage) What?
MAGE: (starting car) Rumble killed Googleplastic.
DE: Googleplastic? A girlfriend of yours? (a pause) A kid you didn't tell me about?
MAGE: (taking off) No.
DeraiLer looks concerned.
DE: Your dad? Your mom?
MAGE: (showing picture) Here he is.
De looks upon a picture of a dog. Suddenly the wind blows it away.
DE: Shit man! That's horrible! (pausing) Uuuh... (looking to see if it flew into the back seat) well? (it's gone) All right man... here's the thing...
MAGE: You don't like dogs or something?
DE: Actually I should of put the top up cause the pictures just flew away.
The Magician turns to DeraiLer, angered.
DE: Hey, I'll go after the second hand man! You can make the kill!
The Magician smiles.
MAGE: I've got so many copies man.
DeraiLer's mouth drops. The car speeds past another red light. It knocks a-peeking-up-out-of-the-sewer Raphael's block off with the front left tire.
DE: What was that?
No answer.
CUT TO: PARK GAZEBO
Milo and Boogeywoman are just waking up. They've been seated. Shadow stands across from him, listening in to a donut.
Madness and Rumble are across the way, talking through a bagel.
MADNESS: (through bagel) Okay Shadow, just talk with them some. If you can get them to show you were Nite is... we'll get all three trapped. You MUST get them to like you, because if they want each other over you then... we've failed.
We cut back over to the gazebo.
SHADOW: (through donut) Gotcha. Over and out. (taking a bite out of it) Hehe.
Boogey looks around.
BOOGEY: What the...? (spotting Shadow) Shadow?
SHADOW: Yep.
She gets up smiling, running over to him. The hug. Milo gets up too.
BOOGEY: Shadow, I'd like you to meet my friend Milo.
SHADOW: How do you do?
MILO: (shaking hands) Good.
They cease.
SHADOW: It's been a long time.
MADNESS: (out donut- to Rumble) You didn't tell me they knew each other!!
Boogey and Milo look at the donut in Shadow's hand, then back up at him.
SHADOW: [*uhoh*]
Shadow takes another bite, sinking in to the communicator center, covered in cream.
SHADOW: (cont.) So, you doing anything later?
BOOGEY: No.
MILO: Well, I was actually thinking about going to a bar. Pick up some guys and gals then...
BOOGEY: (to Milo) And you were planning on letting me in on this?! [*angry*]
MILO: No, but if you insist.
BOOGEY: I do!
SHADOW: Can I tag along?
BOOGEY: Only if you really want to.
SHADOW: Well, I don't really.
The last peice of donut shocks Shadow's hand.
SHADOW: (cont.) AAAGhh, I mean I do. I do!
BOOGEY: Is that a proposal.
SHADOW: It may be. I'm not sure.
Milo looks at Boogey.
MILO: This guy's a couple cans short of a six pack. But he's so dreamy!
Nite approaches with a chocolate bar. Some chocolate smeared all over his mouth.
MILO: Ut oh, spanzettios!
NITE: (scratching his crotch) I couldn't help but get the impression... (smoking pipe) that... Shadow?
BOOGEY: What do you want?
Shadow backs away, back to the rail. Nite puffs some smoke, looking at the three. One at a time. Once, twice, now three scans. His mouth slowly drops.
NITE: I don't believe it.
MIlO: Go away Nite!
NITE: You sleazing sleaze!
Nite lunges at Milo, grabbing her by the hair. Shadow runs up, grabbing him by the shoulder.
SHADOW: Hey! Let her go! (getting smacked away) OOF!
Shadow falls forward, breaking through the rail. Boogey runs over to him, jumping off the gazebo.
Now Nite throws Milo off.
EXT. PARK
Madness laughs. Rumble is shocked.
RUMBLE: Madness! What did you do?!
MADNESS: Silence!
Boogey is helping Shadow up. Nite jumps down off the gazebo.
Just off the street now, comes the bad ass car. It spins around. The Magician and DeraiLer are getting out, when Bub comes by in his shit car... tapping the front.
Madness runs over, and grabs Boogey. Nite snatches Milo, and they dash for it. Rumble runs over to Shadow.
RUMBLE: Are you okay?
SHADOW: I guess so.
The Magician eyes Rumble.
MAGE: (starting the car again) NIEEEHH!
DE: Shit!
DeraiLer gets back in the car. Rumble runs off, hopping into Madness' car. It takes off.
Nite and Milo take off in a pick-up truck.
EXT. LOCO STREET
The Magician speeds around, and the two go after the two vehicles. Bub is laid up against his wheel, unconscience.
EXT. KARO STREET
Nite's pick-up comes to a screetching halt. He gets out with Milo and waves down Madness and Rumble. Milo tries to get free of his grasp but no such luck.
The door opens, and Nite jumps in. Throwing Milo next to Boogey who's been strapped down.
NITE: (to Rumble) Lock her up.