Using the Ideas Rubric, Score Each Example Below

Ideas

The ideas are the heart of the message, the content of the piece, the main theme, together with al the details that enrich and develop that theme. The ideas are strong when the message is clear, not garbled. The writer chooses details that are interesting, important, and informative – often the kinds of details the reader would not normally anticipate or predict. Successful writers do not tell readers things they already know: e.g., “It was a sunny day, and they sky was blue, the clouds were fluffy white…” They notice what others overlook, seek out the extraordinary, the unusual, the bits and pieces of life that others might not see.

It holds the reader’s attention. Relevant anecdotes and details enrich the central theme or story line.

Using the Ideas Rubric, score each example below

Do this first as a group, then as a class we will discuss the answers in detail.

Example 1

Strolling past rows and rows of books, I remember how, after the cancer struck, he came less and less and read fewer and fewer books. They became just part of the scenery, collecting only dust and memories.

Example 2

When I was five, I dug a hole in the strawberry patch, filled it with hose water, and lobelia buds. It was my cauldron, and I stirred it with a stick ... knee-deep in dirt, my feet planted firmly in earth, I was a child-weed creature.

Example 3

About two years ago I got two fish Alex and Body. Body doesn’t eat much but he’s steel living … When I first got them they where shy and scared then suddenly they where as playful as a kitten or two.

Dog Activity

This activity will help students develop an awareness of creating relevant, accurate details using their current knowledge or experience.

Each student adds one adjective to describe the topic. Write the adjectives on a chalk board or overhead projector.

Example:

Teacher: Dog

Student 1: Chihuahua

Student 2: tiny

Student 3: toy

Student 4: annoying

Student 4: get it outside

After compiling the list, each group will create an original story using the topic and as many adjectives as possible. There will be a 10 minute time limit to come up with their inventive story. The group with the most interesting story and the group that used the most adjectives (provided the story makes sense) will receive 2 extra points on next major grade.

Ideas Rubric

This paper is clear and focused. It holds the reader’s attention. Relevant anecdotes and details enrich the central theme.

The topic is narrow
Relevant, quality details give the reader important information that go beyond the obvious
Accurate details to support the main ideas
Writing from knowledge or experience; the ideas are fresh and original
The reader’s questions are anticipated and answered
Insight – understanding of life and pick out what is significant

The writer is beginning to define the topic, even though development is still basic or general.

Topic is fairly broad; however, you can see where the writer is headed
Support is attempted, but doesn’t bring out key issues or story line
Ideas are reasonably clear, but not personalized, accurate or expanded to show in-depth understanding or sense of purpose
Writer uses knowledge or experience, but has difficulty going from general observations to specifics
Reader is left with questions
Writer generally stays on topic but does not develop a clear theme. The topic does not go past the obvious

The paper has no clear sense of purpose or central theme. To understand the text, the reader must make inferences based on sketchy or missing details.

Writer is still in search of a topic
Information is limited or unclear or the length is not adequate for development
The idea is a simple restatement of the topic or answer to a question with little or no attention to detail
The topic is not defined in a meaningful, personal way
Everything seems as important as everything else
The text may be repetitious, or read like a collection of disconnected, random thoughts with no point

Ideas Rubric Checklist

Circle the applicable number
Topic / Narrow (5)/ Broad (3) / Still Searching (1)
Information / Relevant & quality details (5) / Support attempted (3)/ Limited or unclear (1)
Ideas / Accurate details (5) / Reasonably clear (3)/ Simple restatement of topic (1)
Knowledge & Experience / Ideas are fresh & original (5)/ General observations (3)/ Topic not meaningful in a personal way (1)
Questions / Anticipated & answered (5)/ Leaves reader with some questions (3)/ Everything is as important as everything else (1)
Focus / Insight – picked out what is significant (5)/ Generally stays on topic but does not develop a clear theme (3)/ Text is repetitious, collections of disconnected, random thoughts (1)

Show, NOT Tell Chart

This activity will help students understand how to write showing sentences by breaking down the senses.

This activity should be done as a class. Write the below chart on the board or overhead projector. Next, write the telling sentence. Finally, have students write adjectives that come to mind for each telling sentence.

Telling Sentence: The storm was terrible.

The car was on fire.

We went to the beach.

SEE / HEAR / SMELL / TASTE / FEEL / STRONG VERB (active not passive)
Whipping wind / Wind howling / Death in the air / Unpleasant air / Wind biting into my flesh / howl
Cars tumbling across the road / Loud boom as metal crashed on metal / Smoke rising from the ruin / Pungent,smoke filled air / Terror running through my veins / crash
Sheets of rain pouring down the drain pipe / Rain pounding / Damp dirt / Ice cold drops / Wet rain drenching my clothes / pound

Using the above chart, write a showing sentence.

Terror ran through my ice cold veins as cars tumbled across the road, and I heard a heart stopping boom asmetal crashed upon metal; thick smoke then rose from the ruin filling the air with an acrid smell of death.
Show, NOT Tell Activity

This activity will help students write sentences that use imagery.

Divide the class into groups of three students
Give each group a telling sentence*.
Groups move to large pieces of butcher paper mounted on the classroom walls. Using markers, each group makes a show, don’t tell chart** for their telling sentence on the butcher paper.
Using details and strong verbs from the chart, groups revise the telling sentence they were assigned, changing it into a showing sentence. They write this new and improved sentence on construction paper.
Groups share their charts and showing sentences with the class.

*Telling sentences:

Agatha’s room was messy.
The forest was scary.
She was a disgusting eater.
His clothes were wild.
The troll was frightening.
The little girl was sad.
Patricia was angry at the teacher.
This was a fun game.
We got in a car wreck.
I lost my dog.

**Show, Don’t Tell Chart

See / Hear / Smell / Taste / Feel / Strong Verb

Earth

The Earth has lots of meaning to me.

I like it cause it is where i live. And there are butiful things in the would lik trees, flowers, rocks and The nature that lives on the Earth, mountains, rivers, My grandparents, mon dad, my pets and my pets friends, the governor, my teacher, all my friends, my brouther, my cousion, and all the nice people in the world.

But the best thing on The Earth is my relatives my relatives are very very nice.

They will do anything for you And i am glad they are here.

I like the nature cause that gives the animals a lot of homes and a river lets the animal get a drink and the trees some of them give food to the animals, and some trees give us food.

The mountains are rlly nice it is part of nature and thy are pretty big and they are part of nature and History like pikes peek and the mountions rushmore with the four president.

Earth has 50 states and about 7 countrys and most of the Earth is water there is Indian ocean Atlantic pacif and the golf ocean.

And It is important to me cause if we didn’t have trees we would died. That is the main reason.

Score the above writing

Circle the applicable number
Topic / Narrow (5)/ Broad (3) / Still Searching (1)
Information / Relevant & quality details (5) / Support attempted (3)/ Limited or unclear (1)
Ideas / Accurate details (5) / Reasonably clear (3)/ Simple restatement of topic (1)
Knowledge & Experience / Ideas are fresh & original (5)/ General observations (3)/ Topic not meaningful in a personal way (1)
Questions / Anticipated & answered (5)/ Leaves reader with some questions (3)/ Everything is as important as everything else (1)
Focus / Insight – picked out what is significant (5)/ Generally stays on topic but does not develop a clear theme (3)/ Text is repetitious, collections of disconnected, random thoughts (1)

Zeena

Zeena, I know just how you feel. I love chocolate covered marshmellows too! But let me tell you what happened to me.

My mom came home from the store one day and let me have a chocolate covered marshmellow. It was love at first bite. So lite, fluffy, chewy and slipped down my throat like a small piece of heaven. Just thinking about it makes me want to have another one until I recall what happened when I finished my last bag of those squishy delights.

My mom told me I can help myself to a few and before I knew it the whole bag was gone. My mom called me to dinner, and you know, the last thing I wanted, or even cared about was dinner, but you know how mothers are. I had to sit down and take one bite of everything. And after that I had diaria, diaria, diaria. But I was convinced it wasn’t the marshmellows.

Last fall my mom bought me all of these cute colthes for my birthday, shorts, jeans, skirts, so when the weather got warm and I went to put on my new clothes, they didn’t fit to my amazement and not because I had grown to tall, just because I couldn’t even zip them up. But it couldn’t be the marshmellows, their too lite and fluffy; infact a whole bag of marshmellows doesn’t weight as much as one orange.

One day, when I put the tight clothes out of my mind, I grabbed myself some choclate covered marshmellows, when I was biting down on one, a sharp stabbing pain went up my tooth and the side of my head. And when ever I ate, my teeth hurt. So my mom took me to the dentist, and let me tell you it was not a pretty picture, I had seven expensive, painful cavities.

So Zeena, you can keep popping those marshmellows into your mouth, but before you do, remember not everything about chocolate covered marshmellows is sweet.

Score the above writing

5 – 5th grader

The Redwoods

Last year, we went on a vacation and we had a wonderful time. The weather was sunny and warm and there was lots to do, so we were never bored.

My parents visited friends and took pictures for their friends back home. My brother and I swam and also hiked in the woods. When we got tired of that, we just ate and had a wonderful time.

It was exciting and fun to be together as a family and to do things together. I love my family and this is a time that I will remember for a long time. I hope we will go back again next year for more fun and an even better time than we had this year.

Score the above writing

FOX

I don’t get along with people to good, and sometimes I am alone for a long time. When I am alone, I like to walk to Forests and places where only me and the animals are. My best friend is God, but when I don’t believe he’s around sometime’s, My dog stands in. We do everything together. Hunt, fish, walk, eat and sleep together. My dog’s name is Fox, ‘cause he looks like an Artic Fox. Fox and I used to live in this house with a pond behind. That pond was our property. The only thing allowed on it (that we allowed) was ducks and fish. If another person or dog would even look like going near that place, Fox and I would run them off in a Frenzy. There was a lot of rocks around so I would build forts and troops for any body even daring to come near. The pond had a bridge that was shaded by willows, so on a hot day me and Fox would sit on that bridge and soak our feet, well, I would soak me feet, Fox just kinda jumped in.

At night, the pond was alive with Frogs, so I would invite this kid over, (he was a guy like me) and catch Frogs. After we had a couple each, we would pick the best looking one out of our group and race them. The winner gets the other guys frog.

In the winter, the pond would freeze over, and I got my iceskates out. The pond was now an ice skating rink. Fox would chose me as I went round and round the pond.

After about a year, I was riding my bike patrolling the area around the pond. With Fox at my side, I raced down hill toward the pond. I tried to stop, but my back tire went into a skid. I went face first into murky, shadowy waters. When I went down, a minute later I felt something pull on my shirt. I grabbed it, not know what to think, when I hit the surface, I saw that it was Fox, pulling on my shirt as if he was trying to save me. He was to little to save me if I was really drowning but it was the thought that counts. I owe him one.

Another year passed. One day my Mom got home from the store and she bought me a rubber raft. I was just a cheep one, but it was mine. I blew it up with a tire pump. It was just the right size for me and Fox. Out of respect for Fox, I named it the USS Fox and christened it right in the pond.

On sunny days, I would take the raft out and lay in the sun with Fox on my legs. One day, when I was asleep in the raft, the wind blew pretty hard and blew my raft right into a bunch of sticks and rocks, the USS Fox was given a sad salute, and then was no more.

Another year passed, and this would be our last year by the pond. I admired and respected that pond more than I ever did that year. But, at long last, all good things must come to an end, we moved to another town. Fox and I still visit the pond, but it’ll never be like them 8 years when she was mine.
Band-aid Activity

This activity will help students develop ideas through free writing.

Provide a colored sheet of paper for each student.
Give each student a band-aid (characters) or a sticker (character)
Students should be given 10 perfectly quiet minutes to pour out on paper any thought that enters into their head. If they can think of nothing to write, have them start by writing, “I have been asked to write what ever pops into my head…)
Have students put a title on their free writing
After 10 minutes have students share their free writing with group (3) members. Have them decide the most interesting free writing and have the student read it aloud.

The scenery brought to mind an African Safari even though we were in the middle of Texas. We each held in our hands a bag full of animal feed for the exotic animals: zebras, antelope, wildebeests, gazelles and buffalos. Suddenly, the peaceful view changed. A crazed camel was charging towards us; he was focused on the food we clutched in our hands. Panic coursed through our hearts, and with horror in our voices, we screamed for Matt to “Drive faster!” We did not move faster. In fact, he came to a complete stop. Did he mishear us? Did he think we were begging him to stop? “Drive! Drive!” Suddenly, we heard a low rumble of laughter come from the driver’s side. Matt was laughing uncontrollably as Mikie, the evil camel, caught up to us. With a beat of a heart, he nimbly snatched a bag of food covertly hidden inside of Nate’s t-shirt. His quest had just begun. With amazing agility, he ripped the bag from Elizabeth’s rock tight grasp, and then, he set his eyes on Johnna’s bag. Knowing the futility of hanging onto his desire, she threw the bag over the side of the truck. It was then, after we has suffered so thoroughly, that Matt decided that it was time to go.
Memory Web