Unit Nine Review (I)
1. This young lad went to a farm for an interview 'cause he wanted a job. And hehad crutches. The farmer said to him, "Are you strong?" He said, "Yes." He said,"Have you ever had any accidents?" He said, "No." And the farmer said, "Weldwhy are you on crutches, then?" And he said, "Oh, that wasn't an accident. Thebull did it on purpose."
2. Once there was a man and he went into a shop and bought a horse. And he got onthe horse and said, "Giddy up", but the horse didn't move. So he tried again andagain but it still wouldn't move. So he asked the shopkeeper how you get the horseto go, and the shopkeeper says, "You have to say 'Thank goodness'." And the manasked the shopkeeper how you made it stop, and the shopkeeper said, "You haveto say 'Help'." And so the man got on the horse again and said, "Thank man had forgotten the word to stop, and he was trying to think, and when theywere almost at the edge, he shouted, "Help!" and the horse suddenly stopped justwhen they were about to go off the edge. Then he said, "Thank goodness!"
3. Well this American guy was going round the sights of London, and he goes "Heycab, get here, I want to have a look round London." And he goes, "OK get in." Sothey go past Big Ben, he goes, "What's that?" and the cab driver goes, "That's Big Ben," and he goes, "How long did that take to build? ...That took 100 years," andhe goes, "My lot could build that in a week." So they go down a bit further andthey see BuckinghamPalace and he goes, "What's that?" and the cab driver goes,"That's BuckinghamPalace," and he goes, "How long did that take to build?""900 years." "Oh that was long," and he goes, "My lot could build that in afortnight." And he walks on a little fit further they go over LondonBridge, and hegoes, "What are we on?" and he goes, "Don't know. It wasn't there this morning."
Interviewer: Excuse me, er, could I ask you a few questions?
First passer-by: Certainly, yes.
Interviewer: Um...pl...could you tell me what you enjoy most in life?
First passer-by: What I enjoy most in life? I think I enjoy ... um ... a nice meal.
Interviewer: Mmm and what do you thinks been your ... or would be yourgreatest ambition?
First passer-by: My greatest ambition would be to go to Indonesia and see the wonderful arts and dances and music’s of that country.
Interviewer: Oh yes, fascinating. Er ... what's been yohr greatestachievement so far?
First passer-by: My greatest achievement, well far be it from me to say but ...um ... I think that ... Er ... I go back to the time that I got toOxford. I was very very proud of ... of ... of finding myself atsuch a wonderful, hallowed.., er... university of learning.
Interviewer: Yes, I'm sure you were. What person do you admire most?
First passer-by: Um ... Winston Churchill.
Interviewer: Mmm, and who do you get on with best of all?
First passer-by: My wife.
Interviewer: Oh... what was the nicest thing that happened to you yesterday?
First passer-by: Yesterday ... gosh, I must say my memory ... isn't it awful ...er ... oh yes, my little gift came up to me first thing in themiming and she said, "Daddy, you're the most wonderfulperson in the world."
Interviewer: Ha ha. Thank you very much.
First passer-by: Thank you.
Interviewer: Excuse me, could I ask you a few questions?
Second passer-by: Oh ... yes, all right.
Interviewer: The first one is: What do you enjoy most in life?
Second passer-by: Um ... well, I ... I'm sorry to be boring but ...er...I really enjoysitting in front of a fire and just reading by myself.
Interviewer: That's lovely, isn't it? Yes and what's your greatest ambition?
Second passer-by: Um ... er ... to have as much money as possible. I don't mean tobe enormously rich but to be ... have enough not to have toworry.
Interviewer: Oh yes, and what do you thinks been your greatestachievement?
Second passer-by: Oh, having my daughter. I've got one little girl and it's her.
Interviewer: Oh, lovely. Which person do you admire most?
Second passer-by: Oh... er ... um ... well either something quite frivolous like...likean actor, like Laurence Olivier or ... No, really somebody like ...er... Mahatma Gandhi, I think.
Interviewer: Oh yes. And who do you get on with best of all?
Second passer-by: Oh, my daughter-- she's awfully nice to me, ha ha.
Interviewer: Ha ha, lovely. What was the nicest thing that happened to youyesterday?
Second passer-by: Well ... um ... we went out for a very nice walk and ... and saw a castle and it was just lovely, the whole day.
Interviewer: Oh, it sounds super! Thank you very much.
Second passer-by: Thank you.
Interviewer: Excuse me ... er ... can I interrupt you for moment?
Third passer-by: Oh, yeah.
Interviewer: Would you mind answering a few questions? The f ... the firstone is: What do you enjoy most in life?
Third passer-by: Oh well, I think I enjoy my work most.
Interviewer: Mmm ... and what's your greatest ambition?
Third passer-by: Greatest ambition. I think that would be to go on a safari in EastAfrica.
Interviewer: Oh, that sounds wonderful. What's been your greatest achievement?
Third passer-by: Well, I guess raising three daughters.
Interviewer: Uhuh. Which person do you admire most?
Third passer-by: Mmm ... I'd better say my wife! Ha ha.
Interviewer: And who do you get on with best of all?
Third passer-by: Well, I ... I'm sure: my wife.
Interviewer: Again, your wife. And what was the nicest thing that happenedto you yesterday?
Third passer-by: Yesterday ... Oh yes, yesterday was Sunday and we went for ...um ... a drive out in the country and I think that was justwonderful.
Interviewer: Thank you very much. Thank you, good-bye.
Third passer-by: Bye.
Tape script:
Jane Langley is being interviewed by Mrs. Grey,the Personnel Manager, and Mr.Toms.
Mr. Toms: Yes, I see. Good. Good.
Mrs. Grey: Miss Langley, I see that your last employer, Mr. Carmichaes,described you as "conscientious". Do you think you are?
Jane: Well, I certainly try to be.I have a set routine for the day in theoffice which means that I know exactly all the jobs that I have todo. And if conscientious means being extremely careful andpaying attention to detail, then yes, I suppose I'm conscientious.
Mr. Toms: But he said too that you could 'adapt quickly to change.'Did youleave because they were making changes, or what?
Jane: No, not at all. They made a lot of changes while I was there. I'm afraidI became unhappy because I wanted. something more challenging.
Mrs. Grey: I assume you wanted something like the job of Senior Secretarythat we're offering.
Jane: Yes, that's right.
Michael James is being interviewed now by the same two people.
Mrs. Grey: ... and according to your last employer,Mr. Smith,you 'tend to be alittle impatient at times'.
Michael: Well, perhaps I am,perhaps I'm not. Some of the others in the officethere were so slow!
Mr. Toms: Yes, yes.I like a person who wants to get on with the job.
Mrs. Grey: Mr. James, what I'd like to know is...
Mr. Toms: Excuse me, Mrs. Grey, but I wanted to ask Mr. James about hissport. You're a keen footballer, I understand.
Michael: Oh, yes. I play regularly twice a week. And I organized a team atmy old place.
Mr. Toms: And golf, too, I gather.
Michael: Yes. Actually, I like golf better than football really. That's why Iplay nearly every morning...
Mrs. Grey and Mr. Toms are now discussing Jane and Michael after the interviews.
Mrs. Grey: ... so in my view, when you compare the two of them -- and thishas nothing to do with Jane being a woman -- I'd give the job toJane Langley. She's obviously a better secretary than he is, she's amuch better secretary than he is, she's a much better typist, shemixes better with people and is clearly far more polite. We don'teven need to discuss Mt.James.
Mr. Toms: Well, we do, because I think he's brighter than Miss Langley. Iknow he doesn't dress as well or speak as clearly, and he's not asexperienced as she is, but he's quicker, more alert. And he's keen onfootball and golf. I like that. So he gets the job.
Mrs. Grey: No, I'm sorry, Mt.Toms. He doesn't.
Mr. Toms: Yes, he does, Mrs. Grey. He's the Director's nephew.
Tape script:
A: It seems to me women are much better at dealing with more than one thing ata time, and whether this is actually to do with the difference in their brain o whether it's er just how they have to cope more often with more than onething, for example, it is usually women who work, have babies, look after thebabies and take main responsibility for looking after the home. And maybeit's practicing all that makes women better able to do more than one thing at atime. Men, it seems to me, can only concentrate on one thing at a time,including boring domestic things like washing the dishes. If a friend of minewho's a man washes the dishes he'll find it quite difficult to conduct aconversation even at the same time, whereas if I'm doing the dishes I'malways washing the dishes, talking to someone, probably cooking somethingas well, and finding that not too stressful.
B: Do you think that there are things that men are naturally better at than women?
A: Again I would have um said no, but perhaps now I think they are maybebetter at, er, concrete things.
B: One example that I've read about is that men are better at things like readingmaps, they're better at geography than women.
A: I know, I know one man who's very bad at reading maps, most other men Iknow are, like maps, I think that's it too, they actually enjoy the um, I thinkit's to do with trapping the universe on a piece of paper, and to do withwanting to reduce things to something easily understandable whereas womenare loath to um, to actually look at the world and think "Yes, we can write itdown on a piece of paper".
B: Do you think women are more interested in personal relationships than men?
A: Generally, yes, though again whether this is because from an early agethey're taught to please other people, whereas men are taught to pleasethemselves, I think. I think relationships are more central to most women'slives. For example, I think men don't have very good conversations with eachother, whereas women do. If you eavesdrop or listen to women talking, oftenthey'll be having, after a relatively short time of knowing each other, fairlypersonal and truthful conversations, whereas men are very, they haveconversations not about what I'd call real things. They'll talk about theirwork in a very superficial way, or their interests in a very superficial way, forexample, and football is the urn, just a sort of way of men to relate to eachother without actually saying anything important, it seems to me.