Unit 3 Relating

Audioscript

And this amazing story just in from the Chicago Zoo.... What started as a normal day turned into a nightmare for one Brookfield family. A woman and her son were looking at the gorillas. Suddenly, the boy climbed up the fence and fell into the gorilla area. Everyone was horrified. The zookeepers rushed to the door, thinking of a way to get the boy out. But then Binti, one of the female gorillas, did something amazing. She picked up the boy and put him in front of the door. Then the zookeepers got the boy out. An ambulance came to the scene and took the boy to the hospital. Luckily the boy wasn't injured. But what an exhausting day for the boy and his mother!

Audioscript

Narrator: one

Man:People like Glynn Wolfe don't stop to think about the reasons for a bad relationship.

Narrator: two

Woman:My brother is still angry about his divorce after ten years. He's very happy with his new wife, but he still feels sorry for himself because he lost his house. He never stops to think about his ex-wife's feelings.

Narrator: three

Man:My sister was so happy to get her dog. I'll never forget giving it to her for her birthday.

Narrator: four

Woman: Honestly, I can't remember meeting your nephew.

Narrator: five

Man:My last girlfriend was almost antisocial! She never remembered to introduce herself or say "hello" to people.

Audioscript

Dr. Prince: We're going to talk about resolving conflict in relationships. How many of you have conflict in your relationships? Everyone! I'm not surprised. Most people don't know anything about resolving conflict. You know what conflict is—when one person wants something, and the other wants something else. But it's easy to resolve conflict! A lot of people say, "Oh, relationships are hard. Hearing this all the time is exhausting! I hate listening to people talk about their problems! You have to be aggressive! Compassionate people aren't able to resolve anything!"

But I'll tell you... it's important to be patient. Tell the other person your problem, and give them a chance to fix it. Be totally honest! Don't be gentle. But give them a chance to make things better by being patient. If they don't make improvements, you leave. Walk away.

relationship won't last. My girlfriend isn't worried. Should I try to make this work? Should I break up with her? " OK. That's the first question. Got it? Here's question number two: "My boyfriend took a job in L.A.I want to move to L.A., but he says, 'Stay there. You have a good job.' What do you think?" So audience, here's what I think...

Audioscript

So I have two audience questions. They're short, and they're similar, so I'll read them both before I give you my answers. Question number one: "My girlfriend just moved to New York, but I still live here in Phoenix. I have another year of college, so I'm worried about being apart for a year. I'm afraid ourrelationship won't last. My girlfriend isn't worried. Should I try to make this work? Should I break up with her? " OK. That's the first question. Got it? Here's question number two: "My boyfriend took a job in L.A.I want to move to L.A., but he says, 'Stay there. You have a good job.' What do you think?" So audience, here's what I think...

Audioscript

Dr. Prince: Number one: College Boy... don't make problems when they're not there. You were honest. But now, be patient. Don't create conflict, or she will break up with you!

Number two.... He doesn't want you in L.A.now. Give him two months. If he doesn't change his mind, tell him the relationship is over. Be patient, but be aggressive.

Audioscript

1. A: I got a terrible e-mail from Vincent. He doesn't want to be my friend anymore.

B: That must be hard on you. But he's been your friend for years. I'm sure he'll change his mind.

2. A: My roommate was talking behind my back. She told all sorts of lies about me.

B. How could she do that to you? You must feel terrible.

A:I do! And some people believe the lies. They won't talk to me. I can't sleep.

B:I'm really sorry to hear that But people will realize she lied. Forget about it.

3. A: Mr. Banks isn't patient this semester. He was my favorite teacher last semester.

B: Hah! Tell me about it. I'm really frustrated in his
class. I don't understand anything he says.

A:And I went to him after class to say I didn't understand the lesson. He didn't have time to talk to me.

B:The same thing happened to me. I asked him for help. But he was too busy.

p. 31 ＢListen

Audioscript

Narrator: Listen to a lecture about parent-child relationships. You may take notes as you listen. Then answer the questions.

The first step in improving the relationship between you and your son or daughter has to do with listening and trying. When a son or daughter has a problem, too often parents try to give advice or disregard his or her feelings. Parents need to have more patience with their kids, listen more, and show some empathy for what they may be going through.

Let me give you an example. Let’s say your daughter is really mad at her soccer coach. The coach told her that she can’t play in the next soccer game because she was two minutes late for practice. When she tells you this situation, you disregard her feelings and say something like:” you shouldn’t be mad at the coach. You shouldn’t have been late for practice. It’s your own fault that you can’t play in game.”

How do you think your daughter feels now? Worse! All she was looking for was someone to listen and understand her feelings. When people are upset or hurting, the last thing they want to hear is advice or someone else’s point of view. This only pushes them further away. What children do want is acknowledgment of their feelings and chance to talk to you. And, once they start talking to you, then the bond between you and your child is set. The key to getting this bond has to do with reflective listening.

Reflective listening isacknowledgment someone’s words, mood, and emotions so they have a chance to talk through the situation they dealing with. Accepting and reflecting the child’s feelings will make him or her feel understood. Children just want to tell you what happened. At this point, they just don’t want your advice or even a solution to the problem. They just want you to be there for them and to listen to them. If you give your child a chance to vent you’ll end up with stronger bond.

And remember that you are your children’s biggest influence. Model how to listen reflectively and they too will become betterlistener.

Hemisphere 3