UGAP BRIDGES THE GAP FOR CHARITIES
New York’s trend toward humanitarianism continued this summer with the emergence of the Urban Grasstops Alms Project (UGAP), a new organization that goes beyond the simple act of charity to make a difference in the lives of those in need.
From its offices in Manhattan, UGAP reaches out to local political, civic, and business leaders, encouraging them to work with area charities, soup kitchens, and shelters. UGAP acts as a liaison between these resources and the community at large to bring assistance to the homeless and unemployed.
Several prominent Wall Street businessmen have joined the cause, as well as City Council members Alan J. Gerson, Melissa Mark-Viverito, and Daniel R. Garodnick. Bishop Timothy Dolan has given UGAP his full support, as he told the Dirge last Thursday.
“It is important to remember that even though charity begins at the home, there’s only so much that can be done from the home. It is essential that local leaders spread the blessings that they so enjoy to those not so blessed.”
Street performer Joseph Belleville, however, was less than pleased with UGAP’s efforts.
“This is the last thing we need – bigwigs like Gerson and Garodnick getting all up in our faces. Why can’t they just leave us alone? Some people like livin’ their own lives, ya know!”
Belleville noted that he had been a self-titled vagrant and independent musician for the past six weeks, after an unfortunate divorce left him penniless.
Aggie Geddata, another veteran of the Manhattan streets, disagreed with Belleville, demonstrating her excitement with a series of elaborate gestures and a set of arm-waving maneuvers that nearly resulted in the injury of a fellow reporter.
“It’s fantastic! Absolutely fantastic! We finally, like, get some attention! I mean, it’s not like they’re giving us what we need or anything, but, like, this is the start, right? It’s like, totally gonna be better from here on out.”
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ESKOLA OVERDOSES STILL ON THE RISE
Hospitals and clinics in the Metropolitan area have reported a recent increase in Eskola overdose cases, resulting in convulsions, strokes, heart attacks, or even death.
Since its emergence this spring, Eskola has plagued the streets of New York City. The NYPD has little information about its origins, though a spokeswoman claimed Tuesday that Eskola’s similarities to other drugs should not be misinterpreted.
“This drug is entirely new and only recently appeared on the market,” Ms. Gogh stated. “It’s just one more thing to attack in the War on Drugs – the ‘baddies’ are willing to push anything for a little money.”
Proponents of the legalization of marijuana have used this influx of deadly drugs to push their case. Some have argued that marijuana ought to be placed in the same legal category as tobacco and alcohol rather than the more hazardous drugs with which it is currently associated.
Marijuana legalization advocate Brian Sanford spoke to the Dirge about his position on the issue.
“The money needed to fight the truly deadly and dangerous drugs is being wasted on the fight against marijuana. Imagine how much more money the task forces would have if they could stop busting the college student who wants to get high in the privacy of his room – and tax him instead!”
Sanford, a recent graduate from Oberlin College, is currently attending graduate school at NYU and hopes that his efforts will make new marijuana legislation a reality.
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NEW GYM FOR NYU
Construction on NYU’s new athletic center is finally underway, thanks to the generous donations and other efforts of local industry leaders.
The new indoor space is intended to attract more students and give a boost to NYU’s athletics program. With space for track and field, archery, and fencing, this facility will be enjoyed by the student body for years to come.
Like any new building in New York, however, the athletic center is not without controversy.
“It’s really great to get a new space, y’know,” commented NYU quarterback Emory Quinn as his teammates grunted and nodded in support. “We’re all real excited, especially since we’re getting so many more sports here – like archery. Who wouldn’t want to try out a real live bow and arrow?”
English major Tiffany Quaker took an opposing stance on the construction.
“The academic buildings are in major need of serious repairs and our library could use some reorganization. We don’t need to spend our tuition on new sports equipment and another track when our educations are at stake. If people want to run, they should just go to Central Park!”
Alice Saffir, a biology and politics major, chimed in.
“It’s true, you know, what she says. People should just use the park. We have so much beautiful natural space in this city, and this gym is just killing more trees that don’t need to die! They’re paving over grass, you know – tearing it all up and killing it and everything that lives there. Just to build another stupid gym! It’s so stupid! And pointless!”
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REMEMBERING SEPTEMBER 11
The eighth anniversary of the attacks of September 11 raises a compelling question for millions of Americans: How should we best observe this uniquely tragic day in our nation's history?
Surely, it should not be a holiday. This is no time for days off from work and three-day weekends to enjoy barbeques and white sales.
No, September 11 is a day for reflection, and its historical and emotional significance should not lessen with time or be diminished in any way. It is a day to focus on the substantial lessons learned.
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(OOC Source: CNN)
GOBLIN MARKETS
This week saw the release of White Wolf's Goblin Markets, nominally a Changeling: The Lost expansion, though many people plan to use it with other games.
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Horoscopes
ARIES (March 21 - April 19): It's important to weigh your responsibilities carefully. Don't let their burden weigh too heavily or too lightly upon you this upcoming week.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20): Opportunity is knocking. Don't be too cautious or hesitant, or you may miss out on your big chance.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20): You're generally good at dealing with the various faces people project, but this week somebody will surprise you with a side you've never seen before.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22): People aren't always what they appear; some of your friends might prove less than friendly in the near future. Choose your confidants carefully.
LEO (July 23 - Aug 22): Sometimes it's good to know when to throw in the towel. Don't cling to fast to things you can't hold onto.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 23): Oftentimes you seem to think that people have forgotten you. Take heart in knowing that you're still on the minds of many.
LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 22): Now is a good time to be humble and own up to your mistakes. Put hubris aside for the time being and swallow your pride.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21): The world is a lot bigger than your view of it often allows you to comprehend. Pay more attention to the people in your periphery to get a better understanding of where you are.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21): You often act on the ambitions of others. Ask yourself this week whether the tasks you have at hand really originate from yourself.
CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19): You're about to face a challenge you might not be able to win. Don't let this stop you from trying your best.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18): Sometimes it's best to let something precious to you go. Sometimes it's the only way to let it remain precious.
PISCES (Feb 19 - March 20): You're about to encounter an unexpected windfall. Don't let your enthusiasm embitter those around you, or you might not be able to keep it.
The Daily DirgePage 1