Rogue Traders, 04/06/14
Transcript for Duggan‘s Mobile Car and Commercial
Presenter: Matt Allwright
MATT (VOICE OVER)On Rogue Traders we come across lots of different complaints. We filter them thoroughly, and I give them all the respect they deserve.
MATT (TO CAMERA)
NEXT!
FAKE COMPLAINANT 1: I said to her I wanted to go to Greece, but in my head I meant Turkey, and I ended up in Greece! Why didn’t she read my mind, she’s a travel agent, it’s her job
FAKE COMPLAINANT 2: Yes the vase came, the box it was in had like a million of these in, these little Wotsit things, you can’t even eat them
MATT (TO CAMERA)
So I hear you ask, how do you decide which stories to feature on Rogue Traders? Of course, there’s a formula.
The suitability of any story, X here, equals the sums of money lost, times distress caused, divided by the brazenness of the Rogue times the opportunities that we have for terrible jokes.
And we call this the Rogue Co-efficient.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
It’s looking like one individual in Nottinghamshire has a Rogue coefficient of an astonishing..
MATT (TO CAMERA)
One hundred and twenty-eight!
MATT (VOICE OVER)
Yes - This man. Paul Duggan, who trades as ‘Mobile Car and Commercial Repairs”, not to be confused with other companies of a similar name.
A call-out mechanic, if you call him out, he will come to fix your car or van.
I’ve come to Nottingham to meet no fewer than three different complainants. And they’ve all got a different story to tell.
Lynne and Gary Simpson called Paul Duggan out to fix their Citroen Picasso.
MATT: So tell me what was wrong with your car in the first place?
LYNNE He said there was something wrong with the turbo so he took all that off to get it refurbished and he said he was coming back the following day to put it back on, but he didn’t come and that happened every day for two weeks.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
In fact, Paul Duggan never returned, disappearing with both the parts and Lynne and Gary’s £340 deposit…
MATT: In total then, how much are you out of pocket?
GARY: About £900
MATT: Lynne, Gary, thank you very much
LYNNE: Thank you
MATT (VOICE OVER)
Hold on. So, money gone, car useless. And a very high brazenness factor.
Rebecca and Darrell Mathers called Paul out to look at their Renault Espace, this time, he took parts from the engine plus a £350 deposit and then…
REBECCA: That was it
REBECCA: Phoned him numerous times, text him numerous times, no answer
MATT (VOICE OVER)
He left the car in such a bad condition, they had to buy a new one…
MATT: So how much out of pocket are you?
REBECCA: Roughly about two and a half grand
MATT (VOICE OVER)
Sounds, well, very much like the last couple – car out of action, money and parts gone, turning a small job into thousands of pounds of expense.
Alan Litchfield called Paul out to fix a broken turbo on his daughters Ford Focus
MATT: Let me guess, he took the parts
ALAN: Yes
MATT: He took a deposit
ALAN: Yes
MATT: But he didn’t complete the work
ALAN: Correct
MATT: It’s all starting to sound rather familiar
MATT (TO CAMERA)
I ain’t digging Duggan.. Two possibilities here, either he’s worked out that if you take people’s money and provide little or nothing in return, you make more money that way… or he’s really really bad at his job
MATT (VOICE OVER)
To find out which, we need to get him out. Our stooge Rich books him in to come and take a look at this beauty – ooo Vauxhall Corsa...
But before that, car expert Mark Brown is in town, he’s about to watch what’s going down.
He sets a fault in the car, loosening the connection on one of the lambda sensors, it measures oxygen levels in the exhaust.
MARK BROWN: OK, so the engine warning lights on now and the fault is set.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
He’s also completely blown a fuse for one of the electric windows. These are easy things to fix, and should cost no more than 75 squids.
With everything in place, we await Paul Duggan’s arrival.
And here he is. Our man Rich goes out to say hello or you alright or something like that..
RICH: You alright?
PAUL: Yeah. Got the key?
MATT (VOICE OVER)
Clearly not one for the small talk our Paul...
RICH: So the engine light’s come on. I’ve got no idea why.
PAUL: Well that’s what we’re going to find out.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
He starts by plugging in his fancy diagnostics machine and then… well that’s it.
A quarter of an hour later, he’s still just sitting in the car…
MARK BROWN: He’s not even lifted the bonnet. He’s not checked the connections or anything you’ve got to do more than sitting in the driver’s seat.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
When he does eventually gets out, Rich asks for the diagnosis…
PAUL DUGGAN: Your lambda sensor’s packing up. You’ve got 2 on it. You’ve got an intermittent problem with one.
MATT (TO CAMERA)
Actually, they’re not packing up Paul, they’re just loose.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
What’s he going to make of our blown fuse then?
Which I’m sure he’s going to start investigating any minute now. Any minute…. Paul? Now? Any minute now? Paul? Paul?
VT 2
Yes, what is his verdict on the blown fuse for the electric window?
RICH: And do you know about the window?
PAUL DUGGAN: Yeah the motor’s gone.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
No, it hasn’t, sorry
MARK BROWN: He might as well have just put a load of ideas in a hat and drew a few out because that’s the sort of diagnosis he’s just done.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
And while he’s working out how much it’ll cost to buy the parts we don’t need, eager Rich attempts to make small talk… Go Rich!
PAUL: What uni, what are you doing at uni?
RICH: Doing drama
PAUL DUGGAN: One day I might see you on telly then
RICH: Maybe who knows?
MARK BROWN: Funny you should say that
MATT (VOICE OVER)
Alright Mark, I do the jokes.
What’s not funny is how much he’s about to charge us…
PAUL DUGGAN: Your door you’re looking at 200 quid aren’t ya? And you’re looking at about 300 quid for your lambda sensor.. You’re looking at 500 quid for your bits.
RICH: Really? and is that… is there more on top of that?
PAUL DUGGAN: £50 for fitting them.
MATT (TO CAMERA)
550 quid???
MARK BROWN: Total incorrect diagnosis, replacement of parts which are entirely unnecessary, about £475 more than we should be paying for the job. Shocking.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
Telling us it’ll take a few days to source the parts, Paul takes 250 quid up front and leaves.
7 days later and Duggan’s due again. At 10.30 Rich rings to check he’s still coming. But Paul has a tale of woe – you see, he’s had his van broken into…
PAUL: Yeah I’m running a bit late Richard erm… because I had my tools stolen and everything, I’ve had to replace everything and a new van as well. Give you a call when I’m on my way mate
MATT (VOICE OVER)
How very inconvenient. But, you know, benefit of the doubt and all that. What we can do now, well is wait…
An hour and a half later and now he’s got a problem with his REPLACEMENT van…
PAUL : They’ve found a fault on it and they’re trying to sort it out. I’m tied until I can get in me van..
RICH: So what time do you think you would be here?
PAUL: I could come in the next 10 minutes if I had a van but they’ve told me it will be 3 o’clock before my van’s finished
MATT (VOICE OVER)
Six phone calls, four hours and forty minutes later and we throw in the towel. We ring Paul one final time to re-arrange for another day…
PAUL: I can go anywhere you like Richard, wherever you tell me to be I’ll be there.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
He promises to come round the following Thursday at 1.30.
But we can’t shake the feeling that Duggan is starting to do to us exactly what he did to Lynne and Gary, Rebecca and Darrell and Alan. Taking the money and never coming back….
MATT (TO CAMERA)
Of course what I’d like to know is what Paul Duggan is really doing when he says he unavoidably detained. Maybe he’s taking his dog to dog hospital. Maybe he’s mowing the lawn of an elderly neighbour. Maybe, he’s doing a charity fun run.
Luckily, there is a way to find out.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
And that’s by trying to book him onto another job at precisely the same time as he’s due to revisit Rich.
Without the help of a rift in the space time continuum, he cannot be in two places at once. So, hopefully, we’ll be able see first-hand if he’s just giving us the brush off…
Our new stooge is Cathy, her car’s a little more snazzy – It is a Beamer, which apparently’s nice!
This time, Mark loosens a connection to the electric power steering rack.
MARK BROWN: Yep, the bling that you heard then was the EPS warning light coming on. He should be able to find the fault pretty quickly.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
And does he take this new job? Of course he does!
MATT (VOICE OVER)
The morning arrives and everything’s in place. No sign of Duggan at Rich’s house. But what’s this? Here he is rocking up at Cathy’s…
CATHY: Hiya, Hey you alright?
PAUL: Yeah. Do you know what’s happening with it?
CATHY: Um, So he said it was like the power steering
MARK BROWN: He’s pulled the bonnet catch
PAUL: Right, let’s have a look
MARK BROWN: Well he’s doing slightly more than last time, he’s looked straight under the bonnet and he seems to be looking down in the right area.
MATT (TO CAMERA)
Cue a phone call from Rich, about now
RICH: Hi Paul, it’s Richard here with the Vauxhall Corsa, just wondering where you are?
PAUL: Hello. I’m stuck on a job that should have took 5 minutes about 3 hours ago
MATT (VOICE OVER)
And that, ladies and gentlemen. Is a 100% bona fide, solid gold, carbon fibre, reinforced lie.
He’s only been here for ten minutes….
RICH: You said you were going be here at half 1 and it’s now 3 o’clock and you’re still not here.
PAUL: Yes I know, I’m coming though, I am definitely coming
MATT (VOICE OVER)
But is he doing all he can to finish this job and get to Rich quickly? Nope, no, not really…
MARK BROWN: Another slurp of tea that always helps, two steps back, scratch of the head. There seems to be a lot of deliberation for such a simple fix.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
And now for his diagnosis
PAUL: It’s the back of the pump, where the wires go into the pump, they’re corroded
CATHY: Where is it in here?
PAUL: Yeah down there
MATT (TO CAMERA)
Yeah. Down there where there is absolutely no corrosion
PAUL: It might want a new motor
CATHY: Really? How much would that cost?
PAUL: A lot of money
MARK BROWN
It’d be a lot cheaper if you just push the plug back it, which is what it needs.
So there we have it, went straight to the problem, and another complete misdiagnosis, that’s shameful, absolutely shameful.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
He estimates a cost of 12-1300 pounds and leaves to go and track down some parts, saying he’ll be back in half an hour.
But is that a lie too? Is he finally en route to meet rich? I hope so, because Rich is looking well dodgy…
VT 3
PAUL: I’m just finishing off Richard so I’ll be about 10, 15 minutes then I’m done.
RICH: Ok. Are you still at the same job as last time then?
PAUL: Yeah, still at the same job.
MATT (VOICE OVER)
Now that ‘same job’ he’s referring to is the one that our other stooge, Cathy called him up for
MATT (TO CAMERA)
Just have a quick check of the old footage. Yeah he’s, he’s not there… No he’s definitely not there
MATT (VOICE OVER)
and that’s because he left 40 minutes ago
PAUL: The problem is, when you go and start a job, you’ve got a general idea of how long it takes to do. But when you get halfway through it and then find out the customer’s bought the wrong parts like this customer had, you get tied into it and it’s not my fault, it’s not your fault, it’s the customer that I’m at, it’s his fault
MATT (TO CAMERA)
So just so we’re clear then Cathy – That’s your fault
MATT (VOICE OVER)
Even though you’re clearly not a bloke and you haven’t bought any parts.
But guess what? He never shows up for Rich and we’ve no idea where he goes – because he doesn’t go back to Cathy’s house either….
so he/she calls him..
CATHY: How are you getting on with finding the part?
PAUL: I can get the bits for it, I can get them in the morning
CATHY: In the morning? Ok
MATT (VOICE OVER)
Sure enough, he’s back first thing. Showing up – get this - 40 minutes EARLY. Cathy’s boyfriend Dave is there to meet him.
But something strange has definitely occurred since last night. Because this is a very different Paul Duggan to the one we’ve seen before.
For some reason, he’s had a change of heart about what’s up with our BMW. Yesterday, he told us the power steering pump was corroded and we’d need a brand new thirteen hundred quid motor.
Now – he’s got the diagnosis absolutely spot on…
DAVE: Did you find out what the problem was?
PAUL: The electric unit itself, the clip that holds the plug and everything in it’s just hanging in there
MATT (VOICE OVER)
He cracks on and within half an hour he’s reconnected the wire and fixed the fault…with no further mention of corrosion and a new improved price..
DAVE: Thank you very much, what’s the damage?
PAUL: £50
MATT (TO CAMERA)