TranslatingVictimStatements

Themorewepracticethehabitofactingfroma positionofresponsibility,themoreeffectivewebecomeashuman beings,andthemoresuccessfulwebecomeasmanagersofourlives.– JoyceChapman

ThelanguageofResponsibility

TranslatingVictimstatementsintotheresponsiblelanguageofCreatorsmovesyoufromstagnant judgmentstodynamicactions.Inthefollowingchart,theleft-handcolumnpresentstheVictimthoughts ofastudentwhoistakingachallengingcourse.Thinkingthisway,thestudent’sfutureinthiscourseis easytopredict…anditisn’tpretty.

But,ifshechangesherinnerconversation,asshownintherighthandcolumn,she’llalsochangeher behaviors.Shecanlearnmoreinthecourseandincreaseherlikelihoodofpassing.Moreimportant,she canlearntoreclaimcontrolofherlifefromthejudgmental,self-sabotagingthoughtsofherinnercritic.

Asyoureadthesetranslations,noticetwoqualitiesthatcharacterizeCreatorlanguage:

•Creatorsacceptresponsibilityfortheirsituation.

•Creatorsplanandtakeactionstoimprovetheirsituation.

VictimsFocusonTheirWeaknesses
I’mterriblein thissubject. / CreatorsFocusonHowtoImprove
I findthiscoursechallenging,soI’llstarta studygroupandaskmore questionsin class.
VictimsMakeExcuses
Theinstructoris soboringheputsmetosleep. / CreatorsSeekSolutions
I’mhavingdifficultystayingawakein thisclass,soI’mgoingtoask
permissiontorecordthelectures.ThenI’lllistentothema littleata time andtakedetailednotes.
VictimsComplain
Thiscourseis stupidrequirement. / CreatorsTurnComplaintsintoRequests
I don’tunderstandwhythiscourseis required,soI’mgoingtoaskmy
instructortohelpmeseehowit willbenefitmein thefuture.
VictimsCompareThemselvesUnfavorablytoOthers
I’llneverdoaswellasJohn;he’sa genius. / CreatorsSeekHelpFromThoseMoreSkilled
I needhelpin thiscourse,soI’mgoingtoaskJohnif he’llhelpmestudy fortheexams.
VictimsBlame
Thetestsareridiculous.Theprofessorgavemean“F”on
thefirstone. / CreatorsAcceptResponsibility
I gotan“F”onthefirsttestbecauseI didn’treadtheassignment
thoroughly.FromnowonI’lltakedetailednotesoneverythingI read.
VictimsSeeProblemsasPermanent
Postingcommentsonourclass’sinternetdiscussioncourse in impossible,I’llneverunderstandhowtodoit. / CreatorsTreatProblemsasTemporary
I’vebeentryingtopostcommentsonourclass’sinternetdiscussionboard withoutcarefullyreadingtheinstructor’sdirections.I’llreadthe directionsagainandfollowthemonestepata time.
VictimsRepeatIneffectiveBehavior
Goingtothetutoringcenteris nohelp.Therearen’tenough
tutors. / CreatorsDoSomethingNew
I’vebeengoingtothetutoringcenterrightafterlunchwhenit’sreally
busy.I’llstartgoingin themorningtoseeif moretutorsareavailable then.
VictimsTry
I’lltrytodobetter. / CreatorsDo
TodobetterI’lldothefollowing:Attendclassregularly,takegoodnotes,
askquestionsin class,starta studygroup,andmakeappointmentswiththe teacher.Ifthatdoesn’tworkI’llthinkofsomethingelse.
VictimsPredictDefeatandGiveUp
I’llprobablyfail.There’snothingI cando.I can’t…I have
to…I should….I quit… / CreatorsThinkPositiveandLookfora BetterChoice
I’llfinda way.There’salwayssomethingI cando.I can…Ichooseto…I will
… I’llkeepgoing…

Inthisactivityyouwillpracticethelanguageofpersonalresponsibility.BylearningtotranslateVictimstatements intoCreatorstatements,youwillmasterthelanguageofsuccessfulpeople.Onthisrightsideoftheline,translate theVictimstatementsintothewordsofaCreator.ThetwokeystoCreatorlanguagearetakingownershipofa problemandtakingpositiveactionstosolveit.

Victim Language / Creator language
1.Ifthey’ddosomethingabouttheparkingon campus,Iwouldn’tbelatesooften.
2. I’mfailingmyonlineclassbecausethesiteis impossibletonavigate.
3. I’mtooshytoaskquestionsinclasseven whenI’mconfused.
4. She’salousyinstructor.That’swhyIfailed thefirsttest.
5. Ihategroupprojectsbecausepeopleare lazyandIalwaysendupdoingmostofthe work.
6. IwishIcouldjustwritebetterbutIjust can’t.
7. MyfriendgotmesoangrythatIcan’teven studyfortheexam.
8. I’lltrytodomybestthissemester.
9. Thefinancialaidformistoocomplicatedto fillout.
10.IworknightssoIdidn’thavetimetodothe assignment.

JournalEntry1: Writewhatyouhavelearnedabouthowyouuselanguage:Isityourhabittospeakas

aVictimorasaCreator?Doyoufindyourselfmoreinclinedtoblameothers,blameyourself,orseek solutions?Besuretogiveexamples

Blaming….Isa pastimeforlosers.There’snoleverageinblaming.Powerisrootedinself-

responsibility. NathanielBrandon

SkipDowning,OnCourse:StrategiesforCreatingSuccessinCollegeandinLife(Wadsworth,CengageLearning,2011)