Ms. Gerbig—Freshman EnglishWriting Tips

The three-story thesis statement

Comprehensive thesis statements make original arguments whiles specifying the focus of the paper. At this stage, you should be working toward a comprehensive thesis—what I call the three-story thesis—which is based on the logic of a syllogism (If A and B, then C). Consider the following syllogism on Romeo and Juliet:

If Romeo and Juliet can only be together at night,

And death is an endless night,

Then Romeo and Juliet can only be together forever in death.

This syllogism makes a connection between Romeo and Juliet’s relationship at night and endless night, and it forms a logical deduction about that connection. Therefore, this statement has logical and intellectual depth.

Similarly, your thesis statement should have depth. You should make a connection and give an opinion (i.e., answering “why” or “how”) about that connection. It therefore has three layers, such as in thesis below:

Shakespeare pairs the forbidden and tragically-fated romance of Romeo and Juliet with night imagery, therefore foreshadowing that the lovers will be together forever in the endless night of death.

Story 1 (observation): Shakespeare pairs the forbidden and tragically-fated romance of Romeo and Juliet with night.

Story 2 (connection):Shakespeare establishes death as an endless night in which the two lovers can be together.

Story 3 (opinion about the connection): Shakespeare uses night imagery to foreshadow their tragic end.

Now, try to layer your own thesis. Do you have three?

So What? Conclusions

Try giving the reader the significance of the paper: Conclusions should not just summarize your paper or restate your thesis. Conclusions both bring your argument full circle and leave your reader thinking about the relevance of the topic to greater issues, such as the future, his own life, or about a related topic.

EX: For the thesis above, think: Why should the reader care whether Shakespeare foreshadows the tragic end?

Try a book-end conclusion: Introduce your paper with an analogy or example and end it by applying your argument to that analogy or example.

EX: You might start this paper on Romeo and Juliet with another text that uses night imagery as foreboding, for example “The Raven” by Edgar Allen Poe. End it by developing the idea that, like Poe, Shakespeare shows that our deaths are as inevitable and dark as night, but, unlike Poe, Shakespeare suggests that death is not a state to fear but to embrace.

Turn to page 141 of your grammar book for a sample paper with a “so what?” conclusion.