The Tequila Mocking Birds Tour to Bangkok 22-25 February 2008
Sawadee krup! (Greetings!), Salam Malaka ( Hello Wanker) There's no better place to begin our tour than drinking yourself into a stupor. The fantasy of gold, glitter and Tequila will make you think you’ve woken in Gary Glitters bedroom. If you are lucky enough maybe you will. This weekend why not pamper yourself with traditional spa treatments, then when you come out refreshed and relaxed you can be fined for being a poof.
Bangkok is an urban metropolis which size is matched by the many things to see and do. From its thriving nightlife scene and bargain shopping to some amazing historical sights, cultural attractions, wonderful food that you won’t see or remember. Your only regret will be not having stayed at home. Take a moment to have a look at the many offerings of the City of Angels, there are plenty of pamphlets at the airport, but you can forget any of that we have our own tour guides.
Nestled in the bosom of the Yangtze delta, Bangkok was another house move by the King, who fancied a river view in the 16th century. Since then the river has gone all the way around Vietnam and Laos and takes water from the Himalayas or some other place. After a few years they built a few Wats and stuff for the tourists and invented the tuk tuk to get you about from sight to sight. Just remember to haggle with everyone, as each claims to be starving with 12 kids, when they are charlatan rip off merchants.
During the Georgian period the Victorians built large Tudor manor houses throughout the town, but these were largely destroyed in the Great Fire of 1705. Samuel Pepys at once set to work building the largest Cathedral in town, only to have his plans rejected due to the excessive pebble dashing and artex ceilings. There are very few examples of the mock Georgian stone clad churches with flying buttress and nave remaining in Bangkok. There is however other stuff with curly roofs and big plaster sink plungers outside. In disgust Samuel used his Lancaster to bomb the dam above the city and cause the great flood of 1905. Two hundred years to the day since he set fire to it.
Chased and persecuted for several years he travelled east towards India and never got a chance to try his latest idea of low cost Barrat homes. Which leads us neatly to why we are in Bangkok. It is to win some wood, some shiny plastic or other award to make the people at home proud and jealous of our achievements overseas. If however we don’t win anything, then please see Mr. Vart who will deal with all your complaints, medical or otherwise. Dr. Dan is able to dispense snake oils and tequila for all ills; he is after all a witch doctor and shaman in Hong Kong.