The Twentieth Sunday After Pentecost
GardenHomesEvangelicalLutheranChurch
The Perfect Couple
Mark 10:2-9Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" 3"What did Moses command you?" he replied. 4They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away." 5"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. 6"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'[a]7'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b]8and the two will become one flesh.'[c] So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Someone once said, “Marriage was made in heaven. There is no reason it should become a living hell.” And yet there are some who would describe their marriage as a living hell.
And so anytime you see a healthy marriage please stop and take notice because a healthy marriage nowadays is really not the norm. Not when 70% of the kids in our community are born to single parents. And not when over half the marriages in America end in divorce. When you see a healthy marriage, stop and then marvel.
That’s the reason why I like watching the Cosby show. On weekends you can find reruns on regular TV. Bill Cosby is a great entertainer, no doubt about that. But there are a lot of good entertainers out there. What makes the Cosby show worth watching is that he really captured the magic of a healthy marriage. Cliff and Clair just click, don’t they? They are romantic and playful and affectionate. Oh, they have problems, too. But they do not have typical problems because the Cosby’s are rich (or, at least upper middle class). They didn’t have to worry about putting food on the table or worry about paying for their children’s college education. But Cliff and Clair seemed like the perfect couple, didn’t they?
But what Cliff and Clair exemplified is not ideal because it was not a real marriage. The writers only invented problems that they could solve. Cliff and Clair were also not the ideal couple because they did not have a Christian marriage, at least in the half hour they appeared on T.V. Yet their values are values that are identified in the law of God. Their happiness is a reflection of the happiness that God promises to those who follow his plan for marriage.
I mean, what married people do not long to be the perfect couple? Does such a thing even exist? Has it ever existed in the past?Surely in the past marriages existed with no problems, perpetual happiness and no reason to even think about divorce. Right? Wrong! Our text is from Mark 10:2-9. If you’d like to follow along, please turn to page ______in your pew Bible. Divorce is an issue today and it was also a topic of discussion in Jesus’ day.
The Pharisees came to Jesus with a question: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” Seems like an honest question but the gospel writer tells us that this was a way for them to try and trap him. They were up to no good. In order to understand the question, you need to fully understand the 2 schools of thought at this time concerning under what circumstances divorce was allowed. And it all had to do with how the Jews interpreted Deuteronomy 24:1. One school of thought said that divorce was allowed only when there was actual, shameful misconduct involved. The other school of thought was that a man could divorce his wife if she found no favor in his eyes for any old reason.
So the Pharisees wanted to know which side Jesus was on. If he sided with on or the other, he was trapped. If he declares that he is against all divorce, they would say that he is contradicting Old Testament lawand would have reason to kill him. They were so sure that they had Jesus cornered. So sure that they would trip him up.
The problem was this: They are speaking as if divorce was a given, as if divorce was originally contemplated in the mind and will of God when he created marriage. And they were dead wrong.
And so Jesus answers them, 3"What did Moses command you?" he replied. 4They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away." 5"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied.
Jesus said to them divorce was never a part of God’s plan. The only reason why God allowed it and regulated it through Moses is to protect the ones who would be harmed by the failure of their spouse to recognize the sanctity and permanence of marriage.
Wives, I want you to take a good look at your husband. Are you the perfect couple? You’re not, are you? And sometimes it’s because he’s insensitive. He doesn’t truly understand how God wired you. You thrive on strong relationships and on emotional security. That is where you feel safe. Yet he doesn’t communicate. Sometimes he grunts and calls it communication. He doesn’t help enough with the kids. He doesn’t listen. And when he does listen he quick to act to fix your problem but you only wanted his ear, not his action. He is the reason that you are not the perfect couple.
Husbands, take a good look at your wives. Are you the perfect couple. You’re not are you? And sometimes it’s because she criticizes you. She devotes all of her time and attention to the kids and you get the leftovers. She doesn’t really understand how God wired you. And if she does, it is not always considered.
This is just the tip of the iceberg of the problems in marriage. Problems need solutions. Jesus was clear that one solution to fixing marital problem is not a divorce. The Bible does teach that there are two circumstances in which divorce is an option: unfaithfulness and desertion. But divorce was never a part of the plan. Satan is attacking Christian marriages through T.V. and pornography and insensitivity and stubbornness. Jesus answer to a healthy marriage is to take you back to God’s purpose for the union in the first place. You see the Pharisees had it wrong. They wanted to know God’s will for marriage by going to Deutoronomy 24:1. Jesus answer was to go back to Genesis 1 as he now does in verse 6.
But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'[a]7'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b]8and the two will become one flesh.'[c] So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
Listen to this illustration:
She tries her best to make him happy, but it’s no use. Nothing she does is ever good enough. He criticizes her relentlessly: her appearance, her housework, her cooking, the way she raises their children. He makes long lists of things for her to do each week and posts them in their home: “1) Plan the meals; 2) Do the shopping; 3) Balance the checkbook; 4) Go to work and bring me home a nice paycheck; 5) Lose five pounds.” He checks nothing off the list until it is done to his complete satisfaction, which doesn’t happen often.
Time passes, and perhaps because of his increasingly cranky disposition, the husband develops serious health problems. Eventually he dies. Some time later, the woman remarries.
Her second husband is everything the first one was not. He loves and accepts the woman she is. He sets about trying to make her happy in every possible way. He praises her beauty, her talents, her noble character. He encourages her to develop her talents and pursue interests of her own. He seems to care more about looking good for her than having her look good for him.
One day, as the wife is doing the laundry, she finds in the pocket of her old jeans one of the “to-do” lists that her first husband used to make for her. She unfolds it and reads down the list. She is stunned.All the things her first husband demanded from her, she has been doing for her second husband, who never seems to demand anything at all. And up until this moment, she hadn’t even noticed that she’d been doing them.
The first husband is the law. The second husband is Jesus Christ. We are the bride.
The picture of that sweet, sweet relationship between husband and wife is but picture of the gospel. That second husband is exactly what Christ has done and continues to do for all of us. When husband and wife are liberated by this gospel, the sky is the limit in their relationship.
Then wives are able to look at their husbands and see that this is God’s man for them. He is the one whom God chose for you to be an example , your loving leader. Look at him and know that as long as he stays connected to the sweet gospel and God’s will for Christian marriage, he will grow with you and love you and live for you holding nothing back, so long as you both shall live.
Then husbands will be able to look at their wives, and see in her beautiful eyes their opportunity to love her and serve her with every beat of his heart. You will see in her God’s woman for you. And you will know that when she is connected to her heavenly groom, she will be reminded of her purpose for living. And she will hold nothing back from you, so long as you both shall live.
One husband plus one wife plus one Lord equals a team against which the devil cannot stand.
Yes, marriages were made in heaven. They were never meant to be a living hell. God’s blessings to you as you strive to be the kinds of husbands and wives that God would have you be. Amen.
Sermon No. 66
October 22nd, 2006
Pastor Brandon Wigley