The Nature of Compassionate Leadership- a blog by Steve Onyett
July 21, 2013
This is an annotated version of a blog done as part of a series called "Safe Care- The Fierce Urgency of Now" on the Knowing you matter website run by Andy Bradley of Frameworks for Change.
Compassionate leadership is a way of being and doing with others that invites people to act as their true most compassionate selves. It is an property that emerges when people act in connection with each other in ways that allows everyone to offer their fullest contribution to the sacred act of caring.
The compassionate leader…
… has the humility and wisdom to know that they cannot be the complete leader themselves[1] and that leadership is achieved through diverse people coming together in a relationship aligned through a heartfelt purpose[2].
… assumes the best of people and their intentions until experience teaches them otherwise[3].
… is seen to be able to be alongside people in their suffering. My favourite definition of compassion is ‘the humane quality of understanding suffering in others and wanting to do something about it’[4].
… inspires others to be the best they can be through personal example. Their words and deeds have a power sourced from a heartfelt connection to purpose[5]. Their strength is evident through the courage to show their vulnerability. They model coping with grace rather than mastery.
… listens[6] from the heart and speaks from the heart. These intentions are perhaps the most fundamental to the effective practice of leadership. They also form the basis of the practice of the Way of Council[7] which has become the centre of my own personal development and journey towards more effective leadership.
… is able to be with threat, anger and fear while retaining an open heart and a still mind. They stay present in the moment.
… is seen as a whole person themselves. In being an authentic leader they are, “themselves, more, AND with skill”[8]
… is explicitly on their own personal journey of self-compassion and understanding, including exploring that which is repressed and denied and thus can exert unneeded power because it lies in shadow. They understand the need to bring out and know their own shadow and model continuing to learn about how to be more fully present and whole[9].
… is able not to take themselves too seriously and understands the value of humour and play, while also embracing the serious and sacred privilege of caring[10].
… embodies a radical hope for a better future – a future that may be beyond our current ability to comprehend[11].
… transforms others into moral agents through the values that they voice and enact[12].
… creates a microclimate of compassion with every act – from the priorities championed in public declarations of intent to a passing interaction in a corridor with another[13]. Every act builds trust. They are consistent and visible enough to be known by others for what they are.
… achieves focus and alignment of action at all levels through powerful articulation of an aspirational purpose, enabling effective relationships, skilled feedback and stories that engage the heart. Focus brings challenging but meaningful objectives into the centre of everyone’s attention. These objectives draw people forward rather than overwhelm them with unrealistic expectations[14].
… enables others by creating spaces within which others can be the best they can be. They skilfully host[15] opportunities for people to:
- lead themselves and others too. This includes the leadership exercised by patients/service users and those that care for them.
- find ways to offer themselves compassion.
- tell stories about the love they bring to their work and how it is expressed
- reflect without judgement on their emotional reactions to offering care, including feelings of fear, disgust, repulsion, insufficiency and resourcelessness.
- imagine their preferred future together in such richness and detail that innovations tumble forth.
- participate with safety and confidence.
… focuses on the importance of enabling compassionate relationships, including among staff and particularly on the relationship between a staff member and his or her immediate line manager. This is usually the most powerful influence on how a staff member experiences work[16].
… is alert to assets and opportunities wherever it is possible to look[17]. They honour that which works well now rather than imposing external “solutions”[18].
… understands the practicalities of how to bring about service improvement through an outcome focus, candid exploration of the patient/user and carer experience, reducing waste, understanding demand and capacity (and the importance of understanding variation) and the sovereign importance of defended time for reflection and experiment[19].
… understands the importance of the meaning and social value of caring work for the people that deliver it and do not undermine it through treating people’s intrinsic desire to do the right thing as an extrinsic motivation that requires incentivising and appraisal[20].
… honours place, history and community by highlighting the best of what people can do and have done together, so that what is most trusted and powerful locally supports the achievement of the future that people yearn for. They look outwards from their organisation to create new partnerships that will serve a purpose as understood and sought by local citizens and users of services.
… honours the pain[21] that people feel about the ways in which the institutions responsible for delivering care have allowed a diminishing space for self-compassion and the compassion for others that flows from that.
… understands how living systems work including the importance of removing constraints to relationship and connection, self organisation, tolerating uncertainty, the nature of emergence, and just trying something out knowing it may well not work. They eschew command and control as a poor investment of energy knowing that it fails to build ownership or engage hearts and minds, and is built on an illusion of predictability and mechanistic cause-and-effect[22].
… designs teams, pathways and interventions based on evidence of what works. Their teams are not just teams in name but have a clear purpose, manageable workloads, the right composition and processes that allow effective decision-making and opportunities for reflection[23].
… reinforces the good that people do through noticing, appreciating and celebrating[24].
… constantly scans the environment for embers of positive change to breath life into and celebrate[25].
… creates an architecture for learning and continuous improvement through remaining outcome focused and measuring that which reflects purpose as understood by the recipients of care and support[26].
NOTES
[1] This argument is made brilliantly by Pendleton, D. and Furnham, A. (2012). Leadership- All you need to know. Basingstoke. Palgrave.
[2] Ganz described leadership as “taking responsibility for enabling others to achieve shared purpose in the face of uncertainty”. This seems highly apposite in these times of transition in health and social care. See Ganz, M. (2010). Leading Change: Leadership, Organisation and Social Movements.In.Nohria, N.Khurana, R.Handbook of Leadership Theory and Practice. Harvard Business School Press, 527-568.
[3] See Schwartz, B. & Sharpe, K. (2010) Practical Wisdom. Riverhead and Barry Schwartz’s wonderful talks on
[4]Youngson, R. (2011). Compassion in healthcare.The missing dimension of healthcare reform?Journal of Holistic Healthcare, 8(3), 6-9.
[5] Theory U offers the best framework I know for exploring leadership and its relationship to a profound sense of personal connectedness to purpose. Google and/or see Scharmer, C. O. (2009). Theory U. Berrett-Koelher. San Francisco. CA.
[6] It is slightly embarrassing to think that because of my broad experience as a clinical psychologist I thought I was probably had well enough developed “listening skills”. Experience has humbled me! See the following note on Way of Council. I also love the writings of Nancy Kline on listening. See Kline, N. (1999). Time to Think.Ward Lock, London, and Kline, N. (2009).More Time to Think. Fisher King Publishing, Pool-in Wharfedale.
[7] See Zimmerman, J. & Coyle, V (2009). The Way of Council.2nd Edition.Bramble Books, Las Vegas and the website of my own beloved friend and mentor in my development as a holder of council, Pippa Bondy –
[8]Goffee, R. & Jones, G. (2006). Why Should Anyone Be Led By You?Harvard Business School.
[9] Marianne Hill, a skilled shadow work coach, and I have pooled our experience into a publication for the International Journal of Appreciative Inquiry called, "Integrating shadow work and appreciative inquiry- reflections of structural inequalities, polarity and hurt". It is available to download by clicking here. See also our upcoming “Leadership for all of you” event at and an earlier blog on this at
[10] For an entertaining exploration of this aspect see the inimitable Zander R.S. & Zander, B. (2000). The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life, Penguin.
[11] For a powerful account of radical hope as enacted by the last chief of the Crow nation see Lear, J. (2006). Radical Hope: Ethics in the Face of Cultural Devastation. Harvard University Press.
[12] This is how “transformational leadership” was originally defined - that which turns followers into leaders and leaders into moral agents. Burns, J.M. (1978) Leadership. Harper & Row, New York.
[13] Tony Suchman observed that “We are creating the organisation anew in each moment by what we are saying about it and how we are relating to each other as we carry out its work”. See Leading Change in Healthcare. 2011. Ed. Suchmanet al, p.23
[14] Focus in one of the five key factors within the Pendleton and Furnham (2012) Primary Colours model of leadership - see the first endnote above. At a recent talk at Exeter University Mike West, Professor of Organisational Psychology at Lancaster University highlighted the importance of any team not having more than five key objectives to focus on but that these objectives needed to be challenging.
[15] Leader as host is a tremendously powerful metaphor. See McKergow, M., W. (2009). Leader as Host, Host as Leader: Towards a new yet ancient metaphor. International Journal for Leadership in Public Services, 5(1), 19-24., and for updates.
[16] Research studies such as the Corporate Leadership Council’s (2004) report “Driving Performance and Retention through Employee Engagement” shows how the most powerful influence on people’s morale at work is their relationship with their immediate line manager[16]. What an opportunity this presents to transform experience at work! This chimes with the sovereign importance of simply showing authentic personal concern and in your daily work as a line manager. See Alimo-Metcalfe, B., Alban-Metcalfe, J., Bradley, M., Mariathasan, J., & Samele, C. (2008). The impact of engaging leadership on performance, attitudes to work and well-being at work: a longitudinal study. Journal of Health Organization & Management, 22, 6, 586-598
[17]See the seminal Jackson, P. Z. & McKergow, M. (2002).The Solutions Focus. Nicholas Brealey Publishing, London.
[18] This approach has been referred to as “Positive deviance”. See many examples of the principle in action at
[19] See for example the work of John Seddon cited below and Professor Zoe Radnor, (2012). “Why Lean Matters Understanding and implementing Lean in public services” Advanced Institute of Management Research.
[20] See Schwartz references above regarding the risk of incentivizing and undermining people’s inherent desire to do the right thing. On the importance of meaning see the excellent Parker, L., and Bevan, S. (2011).Good Work and Our Times. Report of the Good Work Commission. Work Foundation, London.
[21] Honouring pain is a much neglected aspect of social change. The “Great Turning” with respect to social action for protecting the Earth makes very explicit the importance of this aspect. See Macy, J. & Johnstone, C. (2012). “Active Hope. How to face the mess we’re in without going crazy” Novato: New World Library Experiencing grief in a fully embodied sense has been important to my own journey and concern for environmental sustainability.
[22] See Suchman, A. L., Sluyter, D. J., & Williamson, P. R. (2011). Leading Change in Healthcare: Transforming Organisations Using Complexity, Positive Psychology & Relationship-Centered Care. Radcliffe; Obolensky, N. (2011).Complex Adaptive Leadership.Gower Publishing; Wheatley, M. J. & Kellner-Rogers, M. (1996).A Simpler Way, Berrett-Koehler
[23] See Schippers, M. C., West, MA., and Dawson, J. (2012). Team Reflexivity and Innovation: The Moderating Role of Team Context. Journal of Management published online 17 April 2012. See also other publications from Mike West on teamworking. It is the best empirical evidence on teamworking in health care of which I am aware.
[24] For example, the ratio of positive to negative comments in teams has been shown to be an enormously powerful predictor of team effectiveness, four times more than any other factor. See Losada, M. and Heaphy, E. (2004). The role of positivity and connectivity in the performance of business teams.American Behavioral Scientist, Vol. 47 No. 6, pp. 740-65.
[25] This aspect is being thoroughly explored in the Appreciative Inquiry community as part of the oft-neglected ‘Destiny” phase of the classic four Ds of the AI cycle. See -
[26] This principle is the basis of all effective service improvement work and is powerfully articulated in the seminal Seddon, J. (2008) Systems Thinking in the Public Sector. Axminster: Triarchy Press.