Pray for Our Family Ties
John 17:20-23
Fourteen years ago, I began to earnestly pray for stronger family ties. I remember the day like it was yesterday. Because I was down. One sibling rarely called. Another sibling rarely returned my calls. I hadn’t seen my favorite childhood cousins in years. Aunts and Uncles seemed preoccupied with their own lives. And we were all spread out with not much support. And that was just my side of the family. And so 14 years ago in my upstairs bathroom at the old house in Columbus, OH, I had no idea what to do about this problem. All I knew is that I was lonely – and that my young family would be lonely – if God didn’t do a miracle. Then prompted by God’s word and the Holy Spirit, I knew where I had to start. I didn’t want it to be the starting point. I wanted the solution to be mechanical, technical, solveable. But I knew – that if God were to rebuild the family ties – the first place he would have to begin is with me. But I didn’t want him to begin with me. Because that hurts. I wanted him to change everybody else. Especially those people who had most let me down. But the Holy Spirit kept recycling a very important Bible truth in my mind – “Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up.” And so I started to pray.
Well, the same goes for churches! Church unity – that blessed tie that binds our hearts in Christian love – can be so elusive. Unity – in general - is elusive. Sought by many, experienced by few. Coaches drill unity into their players, sergeants drill unity into their soldiers, and presidents preach unity to their people. What church does not want unity? But it seems so frail, so fragile, sodelicate. Almost like a vapor, one can hardly hold it in your hand. No wonder the most influential religious figure in human history – the Lord Jesus Christ – prayed for unity. He prayed for the church to enjoy unity –oneness in heart, oneness in mind and oneness in purpose. The elders are hoping that this prayer is answered this year at Cedar Church. At our recent retreat, our elders looked at our strengths, looked at our passions and looked at the needs of our community, and we believe that this year – through prayer and preaching, fasting along with feasting, that the Holy Spirit will so enlarge our church-wide practice of friendship, fellowship and hospitality in order to radically draws people nearer to Christ, vitalize our love for his means of grace, and immerse us in an agape/love family-like-free-for-all that sounds the alarm of gospel grace, victory, and power. But that will take prayer. Prayer for what our confession calls the “peace, purity and unity of the church.”
Now it is not like we are fighting at the moment! We’re not. Our former missionary to Korea,Harvie Conn, once told the story of his visit to a large church meeting in Korea, and Harvie was invited as an honored dignitary. (Harvie Conn Illustration). Now it’s not like we are doing that! But, how about thequality of our friendships? What about the depth and frequency of our fellowship? How goes our hospitality? Is anyone left out? Do our true selves stay locked in? Well, the elders believe that what we need is fresh teaching and refreshing strength from the risen and exalted Christ on this topic of unity, such that it impacts our friendship, fellowship and hospitality, drawing us nearer to Christ.
So consider this firstly. In his high priestly prayer, the Lord Jesus prays that his church in all ages would enjoy a unity in the truth and a community of love. A balance – that brings unity and community. Look at verse 20 –21. My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message that all of them may be one.
In verse 20, Jesus distinguishes between two groups for whom he prays. One group he calls “them.” My prayer is not for them alone. The second group he labels “those.” I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message. The first group delivers a message and the second group believes in Christ through that message. It should become apparent that the first group is the twelve apostles, who is present with Jesus during this farewell discourse and prayer.
The second group is the church of all ages who believes in Christ through their message – their oral message proclaimed in the first century and their written message preserved for all centuries in the Bible. So, as John Stott puts it, Jesus prays for the unity of teachers and the unity of the taught. And that unity starts with our unity in the truth they preached. Christian unity begins with a loyalty to the truth – loyalty to the word, the message of the twelve– who serve as eye and ear witnesses of the risen Christ. And our unity will grow only when the church stays united to that apostolic word. Without this loyalty to the truth of the apostolic word, church unity is evasive.
So, think about it. What keeps a church together when a fight breaks out? When words are spoken, feelings are hurt, and lines are drawn? What alone will glue the church together? What transcends the petty squabbles in the church? Truth! The apostolic truth that Jesus Christ, the God-man, maker of heaven and earth, who sustains all things, who died, rose again, ascended into heaven and sits at the father’s right hand, is redeeming his church, and will one day return to judge the living and the dead. This apostolic truth transcends us, it is bigger than us and alone has the authority and power to create a church unity of heart, mind and purpose.
So, I ask you this question. At root, why are you loyal to the church? Is it for social reasons – my friends are all here. Is it for moral reasons – I want a positive influence on my family. Is it out of habit – I have gone here for such a long time. That is not enough to enjoy that profoundly deep and spiritual unity for which Christ prays. In his prayer, Jesus prays that our unity be based on a unity of truth, and Christ alone is that truth that can weather the storms of church life.
I remember the summer I spent in Paris. In France, in 1987, less than 1% of the population was Protestant. 5% was Muslim. 85% was hardly and nominally Catholic. As far as we knew, there were only 3 evangelical Protestant churches in all of Paris at the time. So we went to one. L’EgliseReformeEvangelique. I didn’t speak French too well. Most of the service went over my head. But we were united as a people, because we were united to the truth of Jesus Christ. Good church unity begins with unity in the truth of Jesus!
Now, our great high priest, Jesus, also prays that our unity in truth will translate into a community of love, which is evidence of our true unity in the truth. You see, Jesus is not into doctrinal churches-only, devoid of love for one another. Jesus Christ – the head of our church – appeals for “unity with community,” for a “congregation of brothers and sisters, not an “aggregation of strangers,” for family room fellowship, not parlor room formality. This is also what Jesus means when he prays in verse 21. That all of them may be one. Jesus wants “all of them” who are in his church today to be one. He repeats it two more times for emphasis. v. 22b that they may be one as we are one. v. 23b May they be brought to complete unity
Now, community of love is not simply friendliness, or a pleasant Sunday afternoon, or a good gossipy get-together over a cup of coffee. I think of three metaphors that the Bible uses to describe the church community best. We are a fellowship, a family and a body.
We are a fellowship. Acts 2:42 They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. Fellowship stresses sharing together: physically, emotionally, and spiritually when another is in need. We are a family. Gal 6:10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Family stresses relationships: knowing each other by name, by interest, by traits. We are a body. 1 Cor 12:27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. The body emphasizes work: rolling up your sleeve to help.
Do you experience this vital church community life for which Christ prays? Do you sense that you are in a fellowship who gives to one another, a family who loves one another, and a body who serves with one another? If not, I would encourage you to follow the advice of George Whitefield, who in his Letter to the Religious Societies, wrote:
My brethren… you would do well, as others have done, to form yourselves into little companies of four or five each, and meet once a week to tell each other what is in your hearts; that you may then also pray for and comfort each other as need shall require. None but those who have experienced it can tell the unspeakable advantages of such union and communion of souls…. None I think that truly loves his own soul and his brethren as himself, will be shy of opening his heart, in order to have their advice, reproof, admonition and prayers, as occasions require. A sincere person will esteem it one of the greatest blessings.
Indeed, God does command large group worship. But crowds alone cannot promote a community of fellowship, friendship and family life. In fact, the larger we become, the less we know each another. Crowds can actually perpetuate loneliness. But small groups – like the one’s we have announced today in our bulletin – can help drive our unity in truth toward a community of love. That is why Cedar Church offers church-based and home-based groups, women’s groups and men’s groups, youth groups and children’s groups. There are many ways to strengthen our friendship, fellowship and hospitality through small groups.
Now this brings us to our next question. As we grow in the unity of truth and the community of love, what can we hope to see? We sing the song “Blest Be the Tie that Binds Our Hearts in Christian Love.” What is the nature of that “tie that binds us” in unity?
This brings us to our second major point. In his high priestly prayer, the Lord Jesus prays for Church unity that resembles the trinity and is received by union with Christ. Look at verse 21 and 23. v. 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. v. 23a I in them and you in me, may they be brought to complete unity.
Now this is mind blowing! Jesus does not simply pray that we get along at Cedar Church. He prays that our church unity will resemble the unity and harmony that exists within the Trinity: between Father, Son and Holy Spirit. As Charles Ross says, that is a “union of the highest order. Deep and unfathomable words, easily said, but not so easily explained.”
What is this like? Well, the triune God is one in being (one God in three persons), one in mind (working together to plan all things whatsoever come to pass), one in heart (they love one another and share that love for their creatures), and one in purpose (together they create, sustain and redeem). This is the kind of unity Jesus is praying for at Cedar Church – with one another – trinity-like unity! And what does this NOT mean? Jesus is NOT praying for uniformity, where we are all the exact same! Because the trinity is one God in three distinct persons. They are united, but also diverse.
You see, uniformity is superficial, but unity with diversity is deep. It is easy for us to be at one with those who are like us (same age, same race, same gender, same interest, same job). But to be at one with those who are so unlike us is possible only if a profound supernatural unity exists under the surface. One Greek poet once observed that “love surpasses friendship. While friendship esteems one another who agrees with him, love esteems one another who differs from him.”
Diversity - instead of detracting from the glory of the church – actually enhances it. How much more beautiful is a building constructed of stones of different shapes and sizes than is a structure of blocks which all look the same!
The church’s unity must be as deep, mysterious and unfathomable as the Trinity itself. If a sociologist walked into Cedar Church, would he be able to chart our church relationships and give social rationale for our unity, or would he be perplexed by the deep, mysterious and unfathomable unity in the church? This is the unity for which Christ prays.
Unity that resembles the Trinity AND DON”T FORGET, received through union with Christ.
23a I inthem and you in me, may they be brought to complete unity.
The church will only experience this trinity-like-unity as weare united to Jesus Christ. He says, “I in them.” Jesus uses the phrase “I in them” like Paul uses the phrase “in Christ.” A person is in Christ when he finds his whole identity in Jesus Christ. When by the grace of God, you reject your unity with the unbelieving world, with sin and with the devil and you find your identity by accepting, receiving and resting upon Christ and his righteousness. It is this union, this supernatural, God ordained, Son obtained, Spirit maintained union with God that creates a trinity-like-unity with God’s people.
In other words, church unity is not maintained by your pastors, by your elders, by your parents. One person once asked me to go work out a church conflict for him because “they will listen to me.” But who is the object of our faith to save us? Christ. Who is the object of our faith to preserve us? Christ. Who is the object of our faith to maintain our deep, mysterious and unfathomable unity? The pastors. No! As verse 23 says, Christ in us and God in him, may we be brought to complete unity!
And this brings us to our final point. The one the elders hope will trigger revival, reformation and renewal in the church and in our community. In his high priestly prayer, the Lord Jesus plans to dazzle the watching world by this deep, mysterious and unfathomable trinity-like-unity. Look at the end of verse 21 and 23. 21b May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 23 I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
When the unbelieving world – convinced by their own experience – perceives our deep, mysterious and unfathomable unity in Christ, they will be dazzled by the glory of Christ. Sometimes, they will unite with us in Christ by believing upon him. But in this verse, Christ seems to speak only of a skeptical world being forced to believe – despite themselves. For when John uses the term ‘world’ he usually means it in a negative sense. In other words, some may see our unity and then come to faith in Christ themselves. But others may see our oneness with God and one another, but not believe; even though they must admit we have a pretty good thing going. And even that reaction brings glory to God.So that’s why we keep praying for unity that touches the watching world. We hope our family and friends respond in faith, but even if they don’t, we are still displaying God’s glory for them to see.
Let me close with this question. For what does Christ pray? Christ prays for our unity in truth to bring a community of love. He prays that it would resemble the Trinity and be realized through union with Christ. He prays that the world would know that God sent Him – some believing unto eternal life, and others begrudgingly admitting that we have a good thing going. And so this is the prayer we must assume. This is the hope for which we must aspire. This is the goal for which we must work. That the Holy Spirit so enlarges our friendship, fellowship and hospitality that He radically draws people nearer to Christ, vitalize our love for his means of grace, and immerse us in an agape/love family-like-free-for-all that sounds the alarm of gospel grace, victory, and power. But that will take prayer. Prayer for what our confession calls the “peace, purity and unity of the church.” Let us begin that prayer today, and let us keep praying it every day – in lockstep with our savior – and let us all say, amen.
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