THE FAT CAT HASH TRASH Volume 1758

NEXT RUN

RUN DATE HARE WHERE

1759 9-June-14 Gobbles Tuggeranong Town Park

Tuggeranong

PAST RUNS FOR CAPITAL

RUN DATE HARE WHERE

1758 2-June-14 Crying Dick Kambah Woolshed,

Kambah

Grand Mattress: Queen Latrine

Religious Advisor: Sex Change

Circle/Run Report:

Why is it that when hashers become hares, even the most affable hasher, with a tender, caring nature, turns into a sadistic prick? Crying Dick set a diabolical run – one that reminded us all that life can be nasty, brutish, and short (especially if you were stupid enough to do run number 1758)… Happy, dumb, and blissfully unaware of what lay ahead, hashers laughed gaily at the start of the run, cheerfully following Crying-festering-Dick’s chalk trail… Some distance into the run, Crying-pus-Dick’s markings came to an abrupt halt… Not even a smudge of chalk could be seen… Hashers responded in their usual way; they stumbled around in the dark in an embarrassing, shambolic fashion… When eventually trail was found, hashers warily staggered on through the poorly lit streets of Kambah…Then the unthinkable happened… They came to the base of Mount Taylor and Crying-gonorrhoeal-Dick had clearly marked arrows sending them uphill… Hashers had nervous-looking expressions… Indeed, they had a lot to be nervous about… Mount Taylor is hardly a small, grassy knoll…and hashers were already many kilometres into the run…Still…like good hashers, they prided themselves on their indomitable pluck and courage (others would argue they were bereaved of all sense and stupid beyond words), so up they climbed… Crying-syphilitic-Dick, cruel prick that he clearly was, led hashers to the very peak of the fucking mountain… Spluttering, breathless, exhausted, incandescent with rage, and sweating like Armenians in a Turkish bath, hashers uttered fouler profanities than a Tourette’s sufferer…and turned into an angry mob…They called for the hare to be publicly stoned, publicly pissed on, tarred and feathered, flogged, and burnt at the stake…(and any other medieval punishment one cared to mention)…In other words, things got ugly…It was fortunate for Crying-bleeding-dripping-Dick that by the time hashers finally staggered into the drink stop and on home, they were too fucked to carry out any of their not-so-idle threats, and after some ameliorating beers, all was forgiven and forgotten…So…since the pain and suffering endured on this run was unspeakable, let’s never speak of it again…

Stuff worth mentioning (or not):

Awards

FRB – Party Pie – walkers have hijacked the FRB award

Big Prick – 2-Fathers – the only cunt who deserves the award because he dared to question the integrity and competence of the RA

Little Prick I – Crying Dick (no explanation needed – see above), who deservedly spent an extended period of time sitting bare-arsed on ice in the circle

Little Prick II – Date Diver – for being an accessory to Crying Dick’s crime

Spit the Dummy – Dunny Gone – forgot the award, but spat the dummy again anyway

Hasher RIP

Sadly, Legless took her earthly leave from us recently. May she enjoy many down-downs and on-ons in Hash Heaven… On on Legless

Announcements:

Hares required Please contact Meat (Hash Trailmaster)

Canberra Times Fun Run – anybody interested in forming a Hash team please chat with Sex Change. Password for CT Fun Run entry: Fat Cat Hash

Capital Hash Haberdashery for purchase – chat with Peeping Pervert or Party Pie

June long weekend: 7-9 June 2014 – Caravan and Camping Hash weekend away – speak to Toe Sucker

Check out the RA’s Hash song sheet and sing along to some ribald hash songs! Is there any other kind?

City to Surf: this year there will be a Hash team. To register, log in as “Capital Hash”, password “Fat Cats” (contact Poo Shooter for details)

Masturbateman’s 100th run – September – more details to follow

Brussels T-shirts – see Babbling

Mighty has been ‘voluntold’ to organise next year’s Bike Wine tour…Anybody interested in being on a Hash sub-committee for this event, contact Mighty at