The “conversion of Saint Paul”, what does it means for us?
Fr. Jacques Duraud
杜樂仁神父
I – Was it a conversion?
If we ask people at random what happened to Paul on his way between Jerusalem and Damascus, without fail there will be somebody saying that Paul fell from the horse he was riding; aftergetting some help he finally could stand up but was blinded and regained sight only once in Damascus.
Thanks to many good story-tellers in our Sunday schools and to an abundant Christian iconography,no matter the horse has stumbled or not, that is the vivid memory we all keep of the “conversion of Saint Paul”.
If we take the trouble to open the Acts of the Apostles there are three places where Saint Luke tells us about what happened on the way to Damascus, first surprise … there was no horse! (Acts 9, 3-19; 22, 4-21; 26, 9-18)
If we continue further investigation and have a look at the way Saint Paul himself talks about what happened, we will be even more surprised!
We find no description of what he felt at that time when “things like scales fell from his eyes and he regained his sight”. (沒有任何分享關於當時的感想) (Acts 9, 18)[1]
So, what happened and what kind of conversion was it?
Conversion, (歸化) , repentance (懺悔)all words found in the New Testament and particularly in the three Gospels of Matthew, Marc and Luke. (Mc 1, 15“This is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.”After PentecostPeter speaks to the crowd: “Repent, therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be wiped away”.你們悔改，並回心轉意罷！好消除你們的罪過(Acts 3, 19)
We may be induced to think that on the way to Damascus what happened to Paul was a moral conversion. He was a great sinner and then changed his way of life. If we think like that we emphasize what Paul was, what makes him change and then what he becomes.
Another interpretation may induce us to think that Paul justtransferred his allegiance(他轉移他的忠誠). Something like what happen to a skilled politician;after being member of a political party for many years he decides to join another one and to continue his career. It is a change of objective, but is there really something that changes inside the person?
If we think that way (moral conversion or change of allegiance) we underestimate the action of God.
If we pay attention to the way Paul himself in his letters refers to the event of Damascus we notice that he very seldom speaks about it and that he never uses the term “conversion”!
Let us have a look to some passages in his letters.
1)Gal 1, 15-16 :” But when [God], who from my mother’s womb had set me apart and called me through his grace, was pleased16to reveal his Son to me,so that I might proclaim him to the Gentiles” (但是，從母胎中已選拔我，以恩寵召叫我的天主，卻決意16將他的聖子啟示給我)我在異民中傳揚他。) The experience is described essentially as the revelation of the Son of God to Paul for the sake of a mission.
2)In the first letter to the Corinthians there is an allusion to the event of Damascus in a polemical context:” Am I not free? Am I not an apostle? Have I not seen Jesus our Lord?”(我不是自由的嗎？我不是宗徒嗎？我不是見過我們的主耶穌嗎？1 Co 9, 1) and further in the same letter :” Last of all, as to one born abnormally, he appeared to me.9For I am the leastof the apostles, not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.最後，也顯現了給我這個像流產兒的人。9我原是宗徒中最小的一個，不配稱為宗徒，因為我迫害過天主的教會。(1 Co 15, 8-9)”.
Of course in these two passages there are elements of “moral conversion”(not fit to be called an apostle, 不配稱為宗徒,), but the simple and important fact is Jesus appeared to me. It is not easy to use the category of “sinner” and “blasphemer” about Saint Paul. Why?
Let us look at another passage; Paul does not speak about the event of Damascus, but describes how he experienced it:”If anyone else thinks he can be confident in flesh, all the more can I. 5Circumcised on the eighth day,of the race of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrew parentage, in observance of the law a Pharisee, 6in zeal I persecuted the church, in righteousness based on the law I was blameless.
7[But] whatever gains I had, these I have come to consider a lossbecause of Christ. 8More than that, I even consider everything as a loss because of the supreme good of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have accepted the loss of all things and I consider them so much rubbish, that I may gain Christ9and be found in him, not having any righteousness of my own based on the law but that which comes through faith in Christ,the righteousness from God, depending on faith雖然我對外表也有可信賴的。如果有人以為自己能將信賴放在外表上，那我更可以：5我生後第八天受了割損，出於以色列民族，屬於本雅明支派，是由希伯來人所生的希伯來人；就法律說，我是法利塞人；6就熱忱說，我曾迫害過教會；就法律的正義說，是無瑕可指的。7凡以前對我有利益的事，我如今為了基督，都看作是損失。8不但如此，而且我將一切都看作損失，因為我只以認識我主基督耶穌為至寶；9為結合於他，並非藉我因守法律獲得的正義，而是藉由於信仰基督獲得的正義，即出於天主而本於信德的正義。” Phil 3, 4-9
Paul speaks in terms of “possession” and “poverty”. If Paul was “in righteousness based on the law, blameless”, in other words, “beyond reproach”, how is it that in the letter to the Corinthians he says: “I am the least of all, not even worthy to be called an apostle”?
So if Paul is “beyond reproach” what has changed because what he was relying on before Damascus is now considered as nothing? “The encounter, knowledge and fullness of Christ have completely altered his previous judgments and values”(Cardinal Martini)[2]
Of course the conversion of Paul is also a moral conversion, but it is not only that. It is something deeper because of the knowledge Paul is getting from Christ. It got an “interior knowledge”, an encounter that gave a complete different direction to his life. His moral conversion a violent man and persecutor is rooted in this encounter with the Lord; encounter and interior knowledge so mysterious. In the first letter to Timothy he gives us an account of his conversion from a violent man persecutor of the Church to a community builder preaching the Gospel: “I am grateful to him who has strengthened me, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he considered me trustworthy in appointing me to the ministry.13I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and an arrogant man, but I have been mercifully treated because I acted out of ignorance in my unbelief.14Indeed, the grace of our Lord has been abundant, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.15This saying is trustworthyand deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. Of these I am the foremost.16But for that reason I was mercifully treated, so that in me, as the foremost, Christ Jesus might display all his patience as an example for those who would come to believe in him for everlasting life.我感謝那賜我能力的我們的主基督耶穌，因為他認為我忠信，就派定了我服役。13原先我是個褻瀆者、迫害者和施暴者；但是我蒙受了憐憫，因為我當時是在不信之中，出於無知而作了那些事。14然而我們主的恩寵對我格外豐厚，使我在耶穌基督內有了信和愛。15這話是確實的，值得完全接納：就是基督耶穌到世界上來，是為拯救罪人；而我就是其中的魁首。16但是我所以蒙受了憐憫，是為使基督耶穌在我這個魁首身上，顯示他的完全堅忍，為給將來信靠他而獲永生的人一個榜樣。”
What does it mean for us?
I think we could ask ourselves what are the moments in our life that were experiences of “conversion”, not only in the strict sense of moral conversion, but as founding moments that gave a new direction to our lives or helped us to deepen our relationship with God.Maybe as time passes we will have a different appreciation; what made sense to us at twenty was is not now at sixty so significant. Can we share these experiences and how, to whom?
I would like make a remark. This change in the life of Paul is not a conversion like let us say the change that happen to people who all of a sudden leave everything to go for jihad. This encounter with the Jesus (listed by St Paul as the last apparition of the Risen Lord) initiates a process. Paul does not go back immediately to Jerusalem but he feels the urge to preach immediately that Jesus is the Son of God (Acts 9, 20 and he began at once to proclaim Jesus in the synagogues, that he is the Son of God.即刻在各會堂中宣講耶穌，說他是天主子。) We can see also the account Saint Paul gives of that period in his letter to the Galatians 1. 13-24.
II – Paul an Apostle?
I don’t want to challenge the title of apostle Saint Paul gives himself.
After a period of three years or so following the Damascus event, Saint Paul goes back to Jerusalem, (Acts, 9, 26-30) to the community he was persecuting before. The contact with the disciples of Jesus is facilitated by Barnabas. Saint Luc in the Acts of the Apostles gives an account of the reconciliation: “When he arrived in Jerusalemhe tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he was a disciple.27Then Barnabas took charge of him and brought him to the apostles, and he reported to them how on the way he had seen the Lord and that he had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had spoken out boldly in the name of Jesus.28He moved about freely with them in Jerusalem, and spoke out boldly in the name of the Lord.26掃祿來到耶路撒冷，設法與門徒們交結；眾人都怕他，不信他是門徒。27巴爾納伯卻接待了他，引他去見宗徒，並給他們講述掃祿在路上怎樣看見了主，主怎樣給他說了話；他又怎樣在大馬士革因耶穌的名字勇敢講道。28掃祿遂在耶路撒冷同他們來往，也因主的名字勇敢講道;”
The contact with the Apostles is a necessity. Paul considers that he had an apparition of the Risen Lord. The encounter of Paul with Jesus, is not an illusion, his faith in Christ is the same than the faith of James, john, Peter of those who were witnesses from “the whole time the Lord Jesus came and went among us,22beginning from the baptism of John until the day on which he was taken up from us” 即主耶穌在我們中間來往的所有時期內，常同我們在一起的人中，22由若翰施洗起，直到耶穌從我們中被接去的日子止(Acts 1, 21-22).
What does it mean for us? Let us remember the ritual of baptism. The question the celebrant is asking: “What do you ask of God's Church for (this child)”. Our faith should be the faith of the Church, the same than the faith of the community so that we can say together “I believe in God, the Father Almighty, etc.”
Later there will be conflicts between Paul and Peter and James, but never the reasons will be a different theology or a doctrinal difference.
It means for us that our “conversions”, these founding moments when we discern our relationship with God growing and bringing a renewed meaning to our lives, should be also moments of full communion with the Church.
In the life of Saint Paul one thing is obvious: what we know from him through his letters shows his care for the communities he founded in Asia Minor and Europe. All his travels show not only his eagerness to preach the Gospel: ” proclaim the word; be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient” 不論順境逆境，總要堅持不變；以百般的忍耐和各樣的教訓去反駁，去斥責，去勸勉。( 2 Tim 4, 2). His advice to Timothy, shows how he dedicated himself to evangelization.Eagerness to preach the Gospel but also care and follow up for these communities that are the Church give us a wonderful image of Paul as an apostle and a pastor. He comforts them in their faith, he reproaches them if necessary, encourages them, ask them to pray for him and thanks God for them.
We can ask ourselves that question: does our conversion, these moments of intensity in our relationship with God trigger also our sense of mission?
It will be too long to go through the difficult relationship between Paul, and the community of Jerusalem, disciples and apostles involved from the beginning more with the evangelization of the Jews.
Let us just remind a few facts. In the Acts of the Apostles Peter, first, has the revelation that the Gospel is not only for the Jews but for all and that the gift of the Holy Spirit has been received by the “pagans”. The chapter 10 gives us a wonderful account of the meeting between Peter and the centurion Cornelius. Peter, a Jew agrees to mingle with pagans.“You know that it is unlawful for a Jewish man to associate with, or visit, a Gentile, but God has shown me that I should not call any person profane or unclean.” “便對他們說：「你們都知道猶太人是不准同外邦人交接來往的；但是，天主指示給我，沒有一個可說是污穢或不潔的人”so Peter tells the friends of Cornelius (Acts 10, 28).
It is true that Paul deserves the title of “Apostle to the Gentiles”( Ro 1, 5 Through him we have received the grace of apostleship, to bring about the obedience of faith, for the sake of his name, among all the Gentiles. 藉著他，我們領受了宗徒職務的恩寵，為使萬民服從信德，以光榮他的聖名).
But we cannot forget that even if Jesus did not preach to the “pagans” his mission is often at the borders, for instance the province of Galilee. It is also the place where he invites his disciples after his resurrection and sends them to all the nations (Mat 28, 16-20)
From his clash with Peter at Antioch (Gal 2, 11-16), from his separation with the good companion Barnabas we see how Paul (Acts 15, 36-40) continues his mission untiringly.
The conversion of Paul reminds us that our encounter with Christ, the inner knowledge of the mystery Our Lord reveals to us, is the foundation for our openness and dedication to the mission. Saint Paul preached the Gospel beyond the borders of his own Jewish tradition. His failed attempt to preach in Athens (Acts 16, 16-32) was a timid trial of “inter-religious dialog”. If we involve in inter-religious dialog, is not because our neighbor is a good Buddhist; we make us available for these encounters and dialogs because God has been available to his sending Jesus to share everything of our human condition with us so that we could share one day the fullness of his Eternal Life.
I’d like to conclude with two images. First I’d like to “rehabilitate” the horse that Paul was certainly not riding on his way from Jerusalem to Damascus. A horse riding accident all of a sudden gives the horseman the feeling that he is no more in control. That’s somehow what happened to Paul. The One in control of his life now was Christ. (Phil 1, 21 For to me life is Christ, 因為在我看來，生活原是基督).The horse of the painters reminds us what says the psalm 20: “Some rely on chariots, others on horses, but we on the name of the LORDour God” “他們或仗恃戰車，他們或仗恃戰馬；我們只以上主，我們天主的名自誇.”
The other image is somehow more modern, it is a picture of one ship that was sailing at the time of Paul across the Mediterranean sea. In the second letter to the Philippians he mentioned that he was three times shipwrecked. This means of transport was used by merchants, military and tireless Paul as well.
Let us keep it for us to increase our desire to bring the Good News to all nations.
1
[1] We need to understand that Saint Luke writes the Acts with his own purpose. Paul never wrote and autobiography. His letters are all occasional writings to meet the needs of the communities he had evangelized and was caring for.
[2] For this talk I rely on the book of Cardinal Carlo M. Martini “The Testimony of St Paul” (Saint Paul Publications London 1983)