The author uses many literary elements in this passage, but[CA1] the specific devices used to communicate the narrator’s attitudes toward McTeague include detail, diction and tone. The attitude towards McTeague seems to be a feeling of superiority because the narrator hints that McTeague doesn’t have much on the inside and is a very simple man, with low ambitions. Through metaphors the narrator is able to show his strength and size, but also lack of intelligence.[CA2] Most of the times the tone is only apparent because of the helpful diction or detail, and elicits the narrator’s attitude.[CA3]

The author uses subtly connotative language in the first paragraph to delineate McTeague, and also show how simple and dull he can be. Words the author uses to describe McTeague’s physical attributes are “immense, slowly, enormous, covered, hard, angular”. The author could have used more connotative words such as fat instead of immense, or beastly instead of enormous but then different tone would have been conceived[CA4], [CA5]and for at least the first paragraph the author didn’t intend for the tone to be harsh. The way in which the author describes McTeague’s looks and not his personality, shows that McTeague might be a vain person, judged by his looks a lot, or that his looks reflect who he is. On top of the dull/emotionless diction might even serve to simulate McTeague as a person. “…moving his immense limbs, heavy with ropes of muscle, slowly, ponderously.” In the first paragraph the speaker talks down to McTeague and a[CA6] attitude of superiority emerges. The speaker develops the attitude so early on so when he gives more descriptions of McTeague and it is clear almost anyone may be superior to this simply dull man.[CA7]

“McTeague’s mind was as his body, heavy, slow to act, sluggish.” This quote shows that indeed the author describes McTeague’s bodily characteristics because they mirror his actions. The speaker starts to make cruel but still realistic comparisons about him, now without using dull descriptions but stimulating analogies like “Altogether he suggested the draught horse, immensely strong, stupid, docile, obedient.” The mean diction of “stupid” shows that the narrator’s tone towards McTeague isn’t very pleasant[CA8]. This is why the attitude from the speaker towards McTeague shifts, from passive superiority to assertive power. He uses words like obedient and docile to show that McTeague is dependent and controlled, much like that of inferiority. The superior attitude of the narrator emerges and so does the true character of McTeague.

The next paragraph is solely about McTeague’s dental business called “Dental Parlors”. This paragraph has two purposes[CA9] to give background on where McTeague works, but also to show that the narrator thinks he’s not much of an ambitious person because he owns a depressing business[CA10]. “When he opened his dental parlors, he felt that his life was a success, that he could hope for nothing better.” The narrator uses this quote to make it clear that McTeague can’t hope for anything better, because he can’t do any better.[CA11] The narrator says things like;[CA12] “but as yet such a thing was far beyond his means” to show that McTeague has limits and can only go so far in life.

The narrator’s harsh yet passive feelings about his superiority over McTeague were communicated through detail, diction and tone. Overall the narrator’s attitude is clear because of the author’s fitting word choice. By using words like “Obedient” and “Docile”[CA13] it was[CA14] clear that the narrator saw McTeague as inferior. Diction reflected what tone the narrator was using, and how he felt towards McTeague.[CA15]

[CA1]I’d remove “but”

[CA2]Nice and clear!

[CA3]I found this sentence confusing, I would reword it. Maybe something like…. “The use of helpful diction and detail elicits the narrator’s attitude and causes a more apparent tone.”

[CA4]I like this way of supporting your point – you might need to put the word you compare in quotation marks though, Im not sure.

[CA5]I think you should make a new sentence here and change “and” to “however” or something

[CA6]A -> an

[CA7]Interesting point, I like it!

[CA8] This is a great point, but I think the you should reword the sentence. You might say something like, “The use of the word, “stupid” suggests a mean tone which shows…. ” and I’d also look for “better” word s than “mean” and “very” …… cruel/ extremely?

[CA9]I think you need a comma or something hear, maybe a semi colon if you can make the second part something that could stand alone ads a complete sentence

[CA10]Haha I think you have to say it appears to be depressing or something bc its more of your opinion

[CA11]Excellent! (don’t use contrsctions though)

[CA12]this should be a comma

[CA13]the “o” and “d” shouldn’t be capitalized

[CA14]was -> is (literary presence)

[CA15]Nice conclusion, it really sums everything up. I would recommend restating the tone once more within the last sentence.