THE BITS…
The annual Golden Globe Awards were handed out last night. Amy Adams won for Best Globes.
Jacqueline Bisset is explaining her bizarre acceptance speech at the Golden Globe Awards last night. It turns out she was playing the Golden Globes drinking game.
The annual Golden Globe Awards were handed out last night. The amazing part was how they were able to bring Walter White back from the dead.
Last night at the Golden Globes the movie 12 Years a Slave won for Best Picture. It’s about the people that had to sit through Jacqueline Bisset’s acceptance speech.
The movie American Hustle was a big winner at last night’s annual Golden Globe Awards. American Hustle is the story about how the Hollywood film industry charges $15 for a movie ticket.
Justin Bieber could be in big trouble after he allegedly egged a neighbor’s house. You can tell Bieber is a spoiled kid because he used Faberge Eggs.
DirecTV could be dropping The Weather Channel tomorrow. It doesn’t look good because the Weather Channel’s forecast calls for isolated viewers.
Kate Upton has reportedly been photographed in zero-gravity for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. It was a difficult photo shoot because Kate’s breasts kept covering her face.
Kanye West has written a lullaby for Beyoncé and Jay Z's daughter Blue Ivy. It’s a lovely tune called Twinkle, Twinkle Little Bitch.
SON OF THE BITS…
The New York Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez has been suspended for the entire 2014 season and he may have to play in the minor leagues this year. In fact, Rodriguez has already changed his nickname to Double-A Rod.
Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos turned 50 yesterday. They say that 20 out of 27 people found the birthday helpful.
Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos turned 50 yesterday. Customers who celebrated this birthday also celebrated New Year’s.
Some 300,000 people in West Virginia are still without clean water after a chemical spill. For the past several days, citizens of West Virginia say they’ve been unable to brush their tooth.
The post office has been ordered to pay a soldier $2 million in back pay after he was fired in the year 2000 for taking too much time off for his military service. The bad news for the guy is the post office is going to mail him a check.
Scientists say they’ve been able to get an accurate measurement of the universe. Next they say they’ll try and get an accurate measurement of Kim Kardashian’s ass
Scientists say they’ve been able to get an accurate measurement of the universe.
Scientists now say that the universe is relatively flat. In fact, they say the universe is nearly as flat as Dennis Rodman singing Happy Birthday to Kim Jong Un.
Hypnotist Scott Lewis fell to his death from the balcony of a Sydney, Australia apartment. His last words were, “I am getting very, very sleepy.”
TODAY’S BITMAN AUDIO…
Today on the Bitman audio feed Tina Fey and Amy Poehler host the Golden Globe Awards, HBO’s Girls returns for a new season, we’ll have some chuckles with The Simpsons and Family Guy and a reality check with 90 Day Fiancée.
Plus more from Ron Jordan and the Bitman audio archive! It’s all at BitmanComedy.com in the Subscribers area
Not hearing anything? TV Sound bites are available at BitmanComedy.com! If you need access to the site, contact Adrienne Munos at United Stations Radio Network at 561-381-7598 or
TINSELTOWN TATTLER…
JUSTIN BIEBER’S egg-cellent adventure could land him in jail! After Justin allegedly egged a neighbor’s house Thursday night, the unnamed neighbor has come forward with video evidence of the attack, which also shows Bieber trespassing on the guy’s property. The two are heard on the video exchanging F-bombs and since it appears Bieber caused more than $400 in damage, he could be facing felony charges. This is apparently the same neighbor that got into it with Justin over his reckless driving in the neighborhood. Word is that authorities want to nail Bieber because they feel he's made a mockery of the legal system with his past shenanigans. (See video here – careful of F-bombs)
It’s a mother-daughter rehab act for KE$HA and her mom. Pebe Sebert has checked into the same Chicago-area facility as her daughter and issued a statement saying she was checking in for post-traumatic stress disorder, brought on by speaking out about her daughter’s advisors, who allegedly pressured Ke$ha to lose weight. Pebe said, “This whole Dr. Luke thing has almost torn our family apart and taken over my life, and Ke$ha wants me to heal along with her.”
Former Patridge Family star DAVID CASSIDY was busted for DUI over the weekend. Cassidy was pulled over Friday night near Los Angeles International Airport after an officer spotted him making an illegal right turn against a red light. He was arrested after the officer smelled alcohol in the rental car and he reportedly blew a .19 on the Breathalyzer, which is more than twice the legal limit. It was Cassidy’s third DUI arrest.
VENUS WILLIAMS' Fiat 500 was stolen in L.A. over the weekend. While the big news may be that Venus drives a Fiat 500, the thief didn’t get very far as he was pulled over after making the bonehead move of running a red light while driving a stolen car. Police pulled him over and after they handcuffed the guy and sat him on the curb, he attempted to flee on foot, but was soon recaptured.
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 2…
JENNIFER LOPEZ has been dragged into a bizarre and inept cat-fishing case. Some guy named Rodrigo Ruiz sued J.Lo for $10,000, claiming she sent him a letter back in 2008, requesting his demo CD along with naked photos. He claims the letters led him to believe he had a shot at stardom and Lopez. Ruiz sent TMZ the obviously bogus letters, one of which says, "I just wanted to let you know that I do remember you and that I am interested in you. I have plans on leaving my husband. But I can't say much right now so that's it for now. Send me pictures of you both with clothes and without clothes." The final letter read, "This is Jennifer Lopez and as you can tell it’s been a while since I last wrote and as you can see I have a new boyfriend which means you’re in for the long haul and you have to put up with the fact that I am f**king him and sucking his d**k." Ruiz claims he was so depressed he sought out professional help. It turns out the P.O. box Ruiz sent the letters to is owned by a 53-year-old L.A. woman, who claims she runs a Jennifer Lopez fan mail exchange. J.Lo’s people say she’s never heard of the guy.
The late WHITNEY HOUSTON’S daughter, BOBBI KRISTINA says she and her boyfriend/unofficially adopted brother Nick Gordon have gotten married and that grandmother CISSY HOUSTON gave them her blessing. Bobbi says that Cissy gave her approval at a family gathering, but sources close to Cissy say that while they were all at the party in question, neither Bobbi nor Nick ever asked Cissy for her approval and that she was upset when she found out about the marriage.
HILARY DUFF and husband Mike Comrie are calling it quits. They were married in August 2010 and had a baby boy named Luca in March of 2012. Hilary's mom, Susan Duff, says: "They're better friends than a married couple." It all seems pretty amicable and Hilary later tweeted, "Mike and I are sitting here, we are so appreciative for all of your kindness & well wishes" and "Not an easy day but we're getting thru it together."
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 3…
PAMELA ANDERSON and RICK SALOMON have gotten married…again! Anderson and Salomon got married in October 2007, but she filed for divorce two months later. They reconciled in recent months and Pam told Ellen DeGeneres that they were best friends…with benefits. Of course, Rick is best known as Paris Hilton’s sex tape partner.
ROBIN WRIGHT and BEN FOSTER just recently came out as a couple and now they’ve announced their engagement. She’s 47 and the former wife of Sean Penn and he’s 33. They met when co-starring in the 2011 crime drama Rampart.
CHARLIZE THERON has convinced new boyfriend SEAN PENN to give up his gun collection. At a benefit for his Haiti charity Penn said that "a strong woman who happens to be from South Africa" got him to give up his guns and are being made into a sculpture by artist Jeff Koons, which sold at auction that night for $1.4 million to Anderson Cooper. As for why Charlize wanted to see Penn give up his guns, she was just 17 when her mother shot and killed her father after he fired his gun into Charlize’s bedroom after a night of drinking and threatening to kill her.
TORI SPELLING and DEAN MCDERMOTT were seen together for the first time over the weekend since Dean’s cheating scandal erupted, although they didn’t seem too lovey-dovey. They were also hit with an eviction notice on the front fence of their home ordering them to either pay up or get out, but they’ve apparently already done both. Apparently there was a beef Tori and Dean and the landlord, with her people saying he failed to repair numerous items. Meanwhile, Tori is also squabbling with her dog walker. She sent one of her dogs to the walker’s place because it got too big. Tori was paying the walker $525 a month to take care of it, but the woman didn’t get paid this month and when she couldn’t get in touch with Tori, Dean or their accountant, she threatened to take the dog to the shelter and have it euthanized. This was news to Tori, but when she texted the walker, she refused to respond and won’t give the dog back.
TINSELTOWN TATTLER 4…
SHIA LEBEOUF has announced that he’s "retiring from all public life."This comes after he was caught plagiarizing and then plagiarizing his plagiarism apology, which included a $25,000 skywriting message. Shia wrote, "My love goes out to those who have supported me."
KATE UPTON has reportedly been photographed in a zero-gravity chamber for the Sports Illustrated 50th anniversary Swimsuit Issue. Kate posed in a silver swimsuit that made her “look like something out of ‘Barbarella.’ Ironically, last year, when Kate was photographed for SI in Antarctica, Jimmy Fallon joked that her next cover should be shot in space. He told her, “Think about this; there’s no gravity.” It’s also reported that Swimsuit Issue legends Christie Brinkley, Tyra Banks, Carol Alt and Bar Refaeli will also return for the anniversary issue.
JIMMY KIMMEL has gone all the way to the White House! A children’s roundtable skit on Jimmy Kimmel Live in which one of the kids suggested killing everyone in China got some people so upset they started a petition on the White House website, demanding Kimmel be fired and his show canceled. The petition got over 100,000 signatures, which triggered a mandatory response. The White House said, "The Federal government cannot force ABC to remove this show. The First Amendment of the Constitution protects free speech, even if individuals might personally find it offensive or distasteful. It may be upsetting when people say things we might personally disagree with, but the principle of protected free speech is an important part of who we are as a nation."
Former "SURVIVOR" runner-up JESSICA KIPER posted a selfie from the back of a police car over the weekend. Jessica was also on "Celebrity Rehab," which apparently didn’t work out for her because the reason she was in the back of a police car is she was busted for DUI after allegedly crashing into the back of another vehicle parked outside of a Baton Rouge, Louisiana, high school.
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD…
This Weekend’s Top 10 Movies…
1. Lone Survivor: $38.5 million
2. Frozen: $15 million
3. The Wolf of Wall Street: $9 million
4. The Legend of Hercules: $8.6 million
5. American Hustle: $8.6 million
6. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug: $8 million
7. August: Osage County: $7.3 million
8. Saving Mr. Banks: $6.6 million
9. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones: $6.3 million
10. Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues: $6.1 million
American Hustle was the big winner at THE GOLDEN GLOBES, picking up three trophies for best musical/comedy, best supporting actress for Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Adams, for best actress in a musical/comedy. Leonardo DiCaprio won for best actor in a musical/comedy for The Wolf of Wall Street. On the TV side, Breaking Bad won for best drama and Bryan Cranston for best TV drama actor. The new sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine won for best comedy, and star Andy Samberg won for comedic actor. Co-host Amy Poehler picked up the best actress award for her work on Parks and Recreation.
The E Channel is apologizing for a major fail during its pre-show coverage of the GOLDEN GLOBES. They flashed what it called a "fun fact" on the screen that said: "MICHAEL J. FOX was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 1991." A statement from E said, "We regret the insensitive classification of Michael J. Fox's Parkinson's diagnosis during our E Online live stream. We understand the serious nature of the disease and sincerely apologize."
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD 2…