The 3 secrets to Dating Success

The 3 Secrets to Dating Success
Jalaal Aleem Madyun | Your Life and Dating Coach
The 3 Secrets to Dating Success
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Jalaal Aleem Madyun | Your Life and Dating Coach
The 3 Secrets to Dating Success
The 3 Secrets to Dating Success
Dating can feel easy. Relationships can feel easy.
Every person is unique and so too is every relationship. However, there are common challenges and experiences that each of us will endure at one point or another as we experiment with what makes us happy.
Eventually, many people are able to find their groove and learn what works best for them. It may have been through trial and error, or you may be one of the lucky ones who have never had any serious regrets or heartache, but the resulting sense of confidence is invaluable.
I used to be socially anxious and had to conquer my worst fears to be successful at dating. If I can learn confidence and dating skills, anyone can.
All that is required is a decision to focus on what you can control.
My coaching style is predicated on eliminating excuses. I love when people take full responsibility for all of the outcomes in their lives. I like for the actions that lead to each outcome to be crystal clear. I like when people have clarity regarding the roles that each person plays in their life.
I want all of those to come to fruition in your life.
This report was inspired by the countless conversations I have had about dating and relationships. Whenever you study an area extensively, themes arise. You notice patterns that reappear over and over.
Overall, I believe that if you truly comprehend the concepts that you are about to read, you will have a better grasp of what it takes to be successful than many of the people I talk to.
For now, I want to offer you some priceless secrets that will enhance your perspective on dating success.
Your Coach,
Jalaal Aleem Madyun – JAM Life Coaching
Jalaal Aleem Madyun | Your Life and Dating Coach
The 3 Secrets to Dating Success
Secret #1 - The purpose of life is to form relationships
Nothing in the universe exists independently from everything else in the universe. There isn’t any known element that doesn’t interact with other elements within the universe in some way. The existence of everything we know of, down to the smallest atom, is dependent on other things in the universe in order to sustain itself and evolve.
Everything will bond with, consume, combine with, be held together by, be torn apart by, or otherwise interact with another element. Think about that for a moment. Is there a reason for that?
We live in a system of predefined processes that are designed to result in survival and reproduction. While nothing stays constant for eternity, it has also been said that nothing ever really dies. Instead, everything is constantly undergoing change, moving towards the next phase of its existence.
When you take a look at even the smallest elements that make up larger bodies, its continued existence is based on its ability to form specific types of relationships with other elements. It is wired to operate in a way that promotes survival, both in the shortterm by risk/benefit analysis, and in the long-term by reproduction.
My conclusion is that it is beneficial for us to develop a series of qualities and habits that support our underlying purpose. Our pleasure in life will outweigh our pain if we stay true to our design.
The purpose of life is to form relationships.
The specific characteristics, qualities and labels you attach to the relationships in your life are for you to decide in conjunction with those you are involved with. There are many different types of relationships and people have different criteria for what constitutes a relationship. I have my own definition. The definition that I chose speaks more to the quality of interaction rather than the title of being an official, exclusive couple, as most people would associate with the word.
Actually, I would go as far as saying that I believe titles are unnecessary. First of all, they are inconsistent. The same title can be used to describe relationships that have completely different characteristics. I can say that I have a girlfriend, but our agreements and the way we treat each other may be completely different than another couple who use the same titles.
When does a relationship begin? When you both verbally agree to be exclusive? The first time you have sex? After going on 8 dates?
It is up for interpretation.
Jalaal Aleem Madyun | Your Life and Dating Coach
The 3 Secrets to Dating Success
I’ll give you an illustration of how I define relationships. In psychology, a relationship can be broadly described by whether one variable has an effect on another. To test whether there is a relationship between two variables, you make a change in at least one of them and measure how the other variable is affected. If making a change in one variable causes a change in the other variable, then a relationship between the two variables exists.
Likewise, I look at how a change in one person affects the other person to determine whether a relationship exists. You don’t need to have a title to have an effect on a person. The magnitude of that effect will vary. Not all relationships are equal.
There is another concept called Relationship Strength that determines how large or small of an effect can be produced in one variable by making a change in the other variable. This is a crucial concept to my coaching philosophies. All of my strategies work together to help you increase Relationship Strength over a period of time.
The purpose of dating is to find answers about the types of relationships you want to form. You’re going to find out not only who to form relationships with, but how strong you would like those relationships to be.
If your goal is long-term romance, understand that the quality of that relationship is going to spill over into every critical area of your life (career, family, recreation, etc.).
The quality of your life is going to be determined by the quality of the relationships you choose to form. Your ability to choose the best relationships for you is tied directly to your success and happiness in life.
So what does this mean for you?
It means you have to put yourself in charge of finding the most fulfilling, productive and effective relationships. You have to learn how to recognize who complements you best.
You have to screen some people out. You have to learn the communication skills that build Relationship Strength. You’re the director. You’re the master of your personal universe and nobody can understand it like you do.
Consequently, nobody cares about the outcomes in your life like you do. Therefore, you’re going to have to take the lead.
But, you also need to realize that behind the ability to form relationships with other people is having a grounded relationship with yourself…
Jalaal Aleem Madyun | Your Life and Dating Coach
The 3 Secrets to Dating Success
Secret #2 - When you focus on yourself more than your desire for a relationship, opportunities come to you
Even if you are currently in an exclusive romantic relationship, this principle will help you tremendously. When people look for a relationship, they are often trying to hide insecurities. They are trying to bridge a gap in their self-esteem. This is true for people who want a series of short-term flings as well as people who want a serious long-term relationship.
Whatever you fail to address internally while you are single will become a potential liability when you are trying to build relationships. It might not be noticed immediately, but when you start to invest in another person and you want their approval, you find weird and sometimes detrimental ways of getting validation.
You might start to become jealous and suspicious when they talk to people. You might withdraw and become distant to prevent the relationship from growing into something you’re afraid to lose. You might get defensive when they ask questions about your less desirable tendencies. However it shows up, it does show up. The next thing you know, you’ve sabotaged the possibility of getting the type of relationship that you wanted most.
My point is, handle your insecurities first by working on yourself. Sharpen your mindset so that you have real confidence. Get into a routine where your lifestyle leads to many rewarding experiences. Craft your practical skills so that you actually have useful problem solving skills in your relationship. Then, once you find someone who is a perfect fit, keep dedicating time to getting even better. Growth never stops, and it shouldn’t. It’s the most enjoyable part of life.
The guiding belief behind my coaching philosophies is that dating and the subsequent relationships that are formed should feel easy.
You want to get to the point where all you have to do is be yourself and the options come to you. When you walk into a room and you understand how to demonstrate your value, excuses about being too busy to date or not having quality options will quickly disappear.
Further down the line, when you enter a relationship, there will be no question about whether you are the best option out there. You feel secure within yourself and your relationship feels rock solid.
To fully understand how to bring the impact of Secret #2 to life, you have to understand what value is…
Jalaal Aleem Madyun | Your Life and Dating Coach
The 3 Secrets to Dating Success
Secret #3 - Value is a life enhancement that fulfills a need
THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN LIFE is learning how to implement systems that produce the results you desire. When it comes to interpersonal relationships, the key to success is understanding how to implement systems that CREATE VALUE to others. Once you understand how to increase your value as an individual by developing fundamental beliefs and patterns of behavior that CREATE VALUE, you can instantly improve the quality of your relationships.
My quest for dating success led me to the word “status”. I kept seeing authors toss it around, but the exact definition was unclear. What makes a person high status? After all of my research and experience, I finally found an answer to that question. Eventually, I decided that in the dating world, status is determined by the amount of value that a person is able to create.
Value can be concisely defined as need fulfillment. At its peak, value is amplified by the presence of good feelings, followed by a logical understanding of the how needs will be fulfilled and the inherent possibility of those needs being fulfilled indefinitely.
It might sound a little harsh, but on some level, we are all motivated by self-interest. Our favorite question to ask is, “what’s in it for me?” And we should ask that question. As I mentioned previously, you are in charge of ensuring that the relationships you form are advantageous.
When people look at what you have to offer, they are going to ask the same question.
Everyone has needs that either they can’t fulfill themselves or that they can fulfill much easier by forming a relationship with another person.
There are no exceptions to that statement.
Where we differ is which needs are important to us. If you can enter a conversation, determine a person’s needs and show that you possess the ability to fulfill those needs, you become valuable to that person, instantly. From that point forward, they are going to be interested in learning what it would take to acquire and maintain a strong relationship with you.
Start by examining your own needs. Which of the following would be valuable to you?
 Freedom  Trust
 Excitement  Companionship
 Multiple orgasms  Romance
 Healthy lifestyle  Meeting new people
Jalaal Aleem Madyun | Your Life and Dating Coach
The 3 Secrets to Dating Success
You can add to this list and fill in the blanks as you see fit. The point is that when someone can fulfill your needs, the chances of you being willing to invest in them greatly increases.
It’s simple logic that the more you have to offer, the more appealing you will be. But, not everyone expands their assets with the intention of increasing their ability to fulfill needs.
If you listen to my coaching programs, you’ll hear me refer to a “Dating Market
Millionaire”. A Dating Market Millionaire is a person who has accumulated an immense number of valued assets as a romantic companion and therefore is in high demand.
When you reach that status, you can fulfill needs in a way that feels natural because you have so many options to choose from.
For a relationship to last, both people need to feel 100% at ease being themselves and both people need to support each other’s growth 100%. When you tap into their deepest needs, they feel connected to you so strongly that they want to have you in their life permanently.
You’re too valuable for anyone to decide that they are better off without you…
My Last Words to You
These 3 secrets to Dating Success were intended to help you get in the right mindset for the upcoming webinar that you registered for.
In the webinar, I’ll reveal critical skills that you can use to attract high quality dates and get them to pursue you.
See you on the webinar!
If you have additional questions after reading this report or explore other resources, visit

Sincerely,
Jalaal Aleem Madyun (JAM)
Jalaal Aleem Madyun | Your Life and Dating Coach