Thank you for doing the Settlement Conference on Friday. I didn't realize the recommendations from the joint meeting on September 22nd had changed so significantly and I am truly disappointed that we were not able to reach any agreements. I understand your recommendations are already complete; I just wanted to disclose more information to possibly aid in some of the specifics that were not detailed in the Settlement Conference report that we were supposed to negotiate last Thursday.
I understand that overnights are reality, it's just hard for me to grasp that it is best for Bamm to go straight from a 2 hour supervised visit to then go straight into an unsupervised 72 hour consecutive visits. Barney has not cared for Bamm by himself since I found out about the sexual abuse and the relapse in March that he attempted to hide from me. I understand that in your report you plan to say that I prevented a father-son relationship by my involvement as a witness in Barney’s 5th fifth DWI, but the reason I allowed him in my home briefly here and there, was to give him more time with Bamm and at no point was he alone with Bamm or providing routine care.
To get back to caregiving, I have provided all of Bamm’s routine care and—I administer prescriptions, brush his teeth, bathe him, read to him, feed him, etc. Barney does not attend Bamm’s appointments;, he advised he wants to attend, then bails last minute. If asked, I don’t believe Barney could recite Bamm’s current prescriptions and these are important as he has been to the hospital 4 times over the past 6 months. I am concerned for Bamm and just feel that it might be worth considering a gradual increase in time, even if it is just a short transitioning period. This was the recommendation at early on and what you had verbally advised in September and throughout throughout—that a gradual increase would be the recommendation due to Barney’s minimal current parenting time. I feel Bamm would really appreciate it if you could consider even a short gradual increase. As he has attachment issues with me and has been having anxiety when he is away from me and when he is away from home, he has trouble getting to sleep. Bamm tends to regress during the work week and has trouble bathing, but I am able to make up for that during the weekend.
For your information, evenEven though we were not able to reach a permeant permanent agreement at the Settlement Conference, I offered a temporary solution to get Bamm and Barney out of the current supervised facilty, as this was your recommendation. So instead of the current 2 supervisedhours, I proposed to change that to 7 unsupervised hours on Saturday and 7 unsupervised hours on Sunday with just supervised exchanges. For some reason this was declined.
Lastly, as I have mentioned in previously, Bamm doesn't handle long car rides well. Bamm hates been being confined. and here Here is a short video from late summer that shows the struggle I go through even getting him in the car seat. I also have anxiety whenever I drive Bammfor anything more than a quick time within the city, but so even those I avoid. As I disclosed in my initial paperwork, I also take a Sschedule 2 II narcotic and driving is not completely safe on my medication. The medication I take specificly states that, “this drug may impair the ability to drive or operate machinery. Use Care.” Barney has also made reference to my medication not being safe for transportation, but I as I said, I avoid driving at all costs.
I also get anxiety driving Bamm and don't find it particularly safe driving under with anxiety. My anxiety and stress are highly elevated when driving Bamm, driving in inclement weather, and driving in the evening. I don't think Bamm's safety should be jeopardized because he is forced to be driven by someone that doesn't feel comfortable. I understand that part of the evaluation has use meeting hours away. If you are interested, below is a list of bus times. For future reference, the majority of the time Bamm is transported with me is via publictransit or one of my parents.
Please note that I would rather uproot Bamm and move closer to Barneythenthan put Bamm through the discomfort of long transportation, but that would mean losing my job. Bamm's best interests are my top priority and it breaks my heart to me to hear him get upset because he's in a car for an extended period of time. He however loves bus rides, however (not sure about long ones), but he loves the large vehicles, looking out the window, no car seat and being held by his mama.