Strategies for Successful Parent Conferences

“A successful conference is on at which the teacher puts the parents at ease, conveys a message in a nonthreatening manner, listens to the parent’s ideas, and formulates a plan for bringing about desired change on the part of the student. “ Charles (1983)

7 Steps to Successful Conferences

  1. Invite the parent into your space.
  2. Introduce yourself and shake the parent’s hand.
  3. Say, thank you for coming.
  4. Use surnames instead of first names.
  5. Be sure the parent sits down immediately because we have the most resistance when we are standing. Seat them away from your desk. Arrange chairs at the same eye level, and close enough to convey warmth.
  6. Offer comfort.
  7. Offer a cup of coffee, glass of water, or soda. This can be a valuable prop. When you need to slow down the conversation, pause to take a sip of coffee or water. This can give you some valuable thinking time.
  8. Let the parents know that you are eager and willing to learn about their child.
  9. State the purpose of the conference.
  10. Share the agenda and information related to the conference.
  11. Offer documentation such as a list of grades, samples of work, etc.
  12. Restate the problems and concerns on which both you and the parent can agree.
  13. Decide on a follow-up.
  14. At this point you and the parent are partners trying to decide what is best for the child.
  15. Touch base-communicate. Ask the parent what type of communication works best for them( an email, a phone call, a note, etc.).
  16. Closure.
  17. Shake the parent’s hand and use his/her name.
  18. Thank the parent for coming, and remind him/her that you have another appointment.
  19. Remember that it is rude for you to rise while the parent is speaking. Stand up while you are talking.

Before the Conference

  • Determine strengths and weaknesses for the student.
  • Gather student work, anecdotal notes, and any other pertinent information to support both strengths and weaknesses and place in individual folders.
  • Be sure to schedule adequate time to discuss and listen to all concerns about the student.

During the Conference

  • Be on time.
  • Have comfortable seating for the parents. Tables are much better than your desk. Make sure the table is neat.
  • Do not eat or drink during the conference unless you have something for the parent to eat or drink.
  • Stand up, and welcome the parents.
  • Maintain eye contact in order to be sensitive to when the parent wants to speak.
  • Begin with something positive. Show evidence if possible.
  • Present concerns and provide evidence ALWAYS.
  • Ask parent(s) if they have the same concerns at home.
  • Be quiet and listen.
  • Respond politely to parents concerns and solicit ideas for solutions. If they don’t have any ideas, have some prepared to offer as solutions or ways to work towards a solution.
  • Make a plan and set goals.
  • Ask if they have any questions.
  • Thank them for coming, and walk to them to the door.

After the Conference

  • Keep records about progress of the plan.
  • Inform parents of positive as well as negative progress.
  • Don’t repeat confidential information parents have shared with you unless necessary for the education or well-being of the student.

When Parents are Angry

  • Have a neutral third party sit in on a conference when you know a confrontation is imminent.
  • Feel free to put the conference on hold in order to step next door for support. Reschedule if none is available.
  • Schedule the conference in a populated area with support nearby.
  • Have at least one positive thing to say about the student.
  • Maintain focus on the student’s behavior or progress. Stay away from personal comments about the parents.
  • Stay cool. Arguing gets you nowhere.
  • Have evidence for your concerns. It’s hard to argue when adequate date is offered.
  • Try to establish a partnership. Theoretically you and the parents want the same thing. Ask for their suggestions.

Questions to Ask About Children

  • How does your child view school?
  • What are your goals for your child this year?
  • What is your child’s activity schedule away from school>
  • How do you deal with homework? Do you help your child with it, or check to make sure it is finished?
  • What is your family routine at home? How does the family spend its evenings?
  • How does your child solve problems at home?
  • What does your child do well with at home?
  • What are the main concerns for your child?
  • Positive Ways to State Concerns
  • Instead of saying, “Mark has no friends,” say “At this time, Mark does not seem to have many friends.”
  • Instead of saying, “Jim can’t do math,” say “Right now Jim is having trouble with basic math facts.”
  • Instead of saying, “Marisha is an anxious child,” say “ Marisha seems to be afraid of trying something new.”
  • If applicable, support the parent by saying, “You’ve tried many things to help your child. It must be frustrating for you that he is still experiencing difficulty.”

Helpful Open-ended Sentences

  • “Help me understand….”
  • “Could you shed some light on…”
  • “I’m glad you thought to tell me about…”
  • If the conference gets off track, you can refocus the conversation by saying, “Would you tell me more about…” or “What you said before about… seems important. Would you tell me more about it?”

Communication Facts

  • Only 7% of what is communicated is in words.
  • 53% of what is communicated comes from body language.
  • 40% of what is communicated comes from the tone and feeling reflected in our voice, and how we say the words.

Additional Tips for Parent Conferencing

  • Always use the “Sandwich” method of communication.
  • Begin and end the conference by highlighting student strengths and positives.
  • Bring up areas of concern and areas of weakness during the middle of the conference.
  • Make sure you have the name of the parent correct.
  • Don’t assume that Jennifer Peabody’s mother is Mrs. Peabody.
  • Don’t assume that the wrinkled gray-haired gentleman coming in with Tim is his grandfather.
  • Forget the jargon.
  • Phrases like “criterion-referenced” testing, “least restrictive environment,” and “kinesthetic learning style” may just sound like a foreign language.
  • Use body language.
  • Non-verbals set the mood for the conference.
  • Smile, nod, and lean forward slightly-this lets the parent know you are interested in what is being said.
  • Focus on solutions.
  • Don’t just focus on the problem.
  • Discuss what steps you and the parent can take together to help improve the situation, and let the parent know you will follow up.