Kerri Bystrom
WTRG 3020 – 589
19 July 2011
Draft 2
Dilly Bar
Sometimes if you want a certain pet bad enough, it doesn’t matter if it’s still ali[ER1]ve.
My favorite animal is the armadi[ER2]llo. These animals are found in Texas, a state I freq[ER3]uent at least once a year. I visit there to see my aunt, other relatives and some good friends. Bo[ER4]th my parents were also raised there and it’s where they spent the majority of their lives.
The armadillo is similar to Colorado’s raccoon, only coming out at night, and rare to be seen. In my case, the armadillo is very rare, because I’ve only seen one once; the poor thing was already de[ER5]ad.
When I don’t go to Texas, my aunt will travel to C[ER6]olorado, usually once a year. Each time she comes, I ask her to bring me an armadillo to domesticate. I have no experience domesticating wild animals, but I figure with the right size harness and muzzle, anything is possible! I keep picturing a little clown collar, and maybe even a party hat, on my new pet as he performs fantastic tricks. Unfortunately my aunt, to this day, has failed to follow through on the capture of this little mammal. I dec[ER7]ided that I needed to find one myself.
My mother and I were traveling to Texas last year and I decided that if my aunt couldn’t produce a pet for me, I would bring her one! W[ER8]e spent hundreds of miles of road searching in the brush, tall grass, and medians trying to find an armadillo. Like I mentioned, these creatures are really hard to find. If you ever drive the miles of hot pavement through Texas, you’ll see the amount of trash and tire blow-outs that look suspiciously like animals. Armadillos are smart creatures, and will move this debris into positions that look like armadillos as decoys. There was a moment of eye exhaustion and the thought of giving up when, alas, there, on the side of the road, sat an armadillo!
.[ER9] It was incredibly exciting that I had finally found my new pet! He sat with t[ER10]he utmost posture and poise He had managed to stick all four cute, little feet in the air at once, and somehow cock his head back in a very challenging position. I yelled to pull over but it was too late to hit the brakes. As we passed the creature, I became worried; this little guy was the recent victim of a horrible accid[ER11]ent. That wasn’t going to stop me from getting the pet I always wanted.
We had to drive a few more miles to do a u-turn, but eventually we made it back to my new friend. My mother attempted to position the car in such a way that the 70 mile-per-hour trucks whizzing by wouldn’t get too close to me and my friend. I questioned the best way to retrieve him, and my mother gave me a cheap grocery sack to slide over my hand.
“Just pick him up, and then flip the bag around him,” she told me. I was crazy excited, jumped out of the car and started to approach him. I thought of how cool the name Dilly would be. We would have so much fun hanging out in the grass, spinning in circles, singing the Mamas and the Papas. As I got closer to my first ever real-life, or real-dead, armadillo, I came to realize these creatures are a little bigger than I thought! I turned back to the car and tried yelling to my mom.
“He’s too big!” as I had just one plastic bag pulled over one hand. She motioned back to me using two hands in a scooping motion.
“Use two hands, and just kind of grab him!” she yelled back. It was around this moment that I really took a good look at his face. Such a precious friend I had found, with his little eyes closed in an infinite sleep, his tiny hairs surrounding his leathery shell, his itty-bitty ears distracting me from the fact that some brain-matter had spewed from his nose. I had finally notice that my new friend wasn’t just in his peaceful sleep, but that he also had lost a few important organs to the roadway. I decided that maybe having my new friend ride next to me in the car for the remainder of the trip would not have worked out. I turned from him, and slowly dragged my feet back to the car. We continued our search, and waved our goodbyes to Dilly as we passed.
I am still looking for my new armadillo pet. I’ve tried to fill the void over the years with armadillo bobble-heads, magnets, stuffed animals, aardvarks, storybooks, pillows, friends that look like armadillos, and an intricate wooden totem-pole only consisting of armadillo heads. I still plan on finding him, and when I do, I hope he is still alive. Taxider[ER12]my offices creep me out a little bit, and I would prefer to have the ability to teach him tricks if I so chose. I also picture it being easier to walk an armadillo on a leash when it is able to move its own feet. I did however create a roller-skate system to make the walk more enjoyable for an armadillo post-mort[ER13]em.
I’m retelling this story, at this moment, in Texas. My search continues, and if I’m lucky I’ll return home soon with a new friend. If you think my search is bizarre and disgusting, just remember what I told you; both my parents were r[ER14]aised in Texas.
[ER1]Interesting? If I want a pet, I hope its alive
[ER2]Why is it your favorite animal?
[ER3]Maybe instead say visit?
[ER4]I think this is great detail by telling us why you go to visit Texas, but maybe you could condense the sentances into 2?
I frequently visit texas not only to visit my relatives and friends, but also because my parents were born and raised natives to the state.
[ER5]How did it die?
[ER6]I think this first sentence is not necessary, maybe just start by saying «
However when I don’t make the trip down to texas my aunt enjoys traveling to colorado«
Each time she visits, I always have the same request for her to bring me….
[ER7]Why? I think you need to put somewhere in the opening why you like armadillos so much, do you like the size? color? how the look? Why would you want to domesticate one?
[ER8]Does your aunt want a pet too?
[ER9]Delete the period.at the begining of the sentance
[ER10]The second sentance is a run-on. Try to condense.
[ER11]How do you know he was the victim of a recent accident??
[ER12]Confusing?
[ER13]This paragraph is very hodge podge? what exactly are you trying to say here? roller-skate system?! Could you clarify this?
[ER14]What does being raised in texas have to do it with wanting an armadillo for a pet?
Overall I thought your paper has a great start.
There were some parts I found confusing and thought needed more detail.
I think in the opening paragraphs you need to really establish why you want a pet, are you not allowed to? why are you attracted to armadillos?
GREAT job though!