A Message from VED Yuva Brahmin ..... Spread this message to as many friends and relatives as possible....It will help in laying the foundation for the process..Reply back if u think its right...

Should we wait till these things happen to our children or within our family?

Now-a-Days children's are making a decision of their own of choosing Bride/Groom. That's not a healthy trend as many thing needs to be seen while going into such type of relationship (Viz. Family background, Kundli matching, Financial stability etc.). These prospective were seen by many people from many angles and various steps were suggested to improve the things. One of the best possible solutions was suggested to reduce the age of marriage and let them date guys/girls within their own community under parental guidance as that would solve many of the problems. Even if one could not marry at least we can get legally engaged or start dating (as happens in the college) at a lower age.

Advantages of early marriage:

  1. Now the trend has started that the girl or the guys have to go to U.S for studying, so if the girl or the guy is engaged then there is very little chance of that person getting into wrong habits or wrong partner and even the parents would be comfortable to send their children to U.S for education once they are engaged. If the guy or girl goes to U.S and then searches for a groom or bride then everyone has a doubt as to what he/she has done in U.S? Even it becomes a bit difficult to match the timings once the guy or girl stays out of town for job or education purpose. Now even the U.S trend of parents staying far away from their children's had been started may be due to education or for job purpose or the life has become so hectic that if both the parents are working it becomes very difficult to keep an eye on their children's. So if a guy or girl is made to go into early marriage the responsibility of both the parents would be reduced. So it's a win-win situation for both the parties.
  2. In life there are two important steps one is the education and the other one is good girl/guy in life. In today's world the relationships have become extremely unstable .Now the trend has started of having an affair with someone else and marrying someone other. This trend could be stopped once this system of early marriage comes into force.
  3. If you register at an early stage you get ample of time to select the bride or the groom rather than making the decision hastily. A decision taken hastily most of the times comes out to be wrong.
  4. If parents search girls/guys for their children, the children's could actually concentrate on their studies rather than running behind girls/guys.
  5. Many of the guys get into the habits of prostitution or have girlfriends just for time pass. They don't have such attitude but their needs make them take these steps. If marriage is done at an early stage then these things could be avoided.
  6. Today the question of virginity has become utmost importance (you may have seen the discussion on the community forum - weather the concept of virginity is outdated). People are forgetting the concept of virginity. This could only be stopped if the above steps are taken. So after discussing with many people we thought of the best possible solution is to reduce the age of marriage.
  7. It's always better to bring a Brahmin girl or guy of good upbringing in your house and adjust for two years rather than bringing a girl or guy from other caste and getting mixed up totally in your life and spoiling coming generation's future.
  8. Children's are making a wrong decision of choosing a guy or girl. It's always better to involve your parents in the decision making as decision taken by 5 persons is better than decision taken single handedly. Nowadays children's are making a decision of their own rather than involving their parents which are a very bad signal.
  9. In marriage matching the kundli is very essential as everything has to matched perfectly, but nowadays children's are not given education of that and they take a wrong decision in their life. This could affect whole of our community. That might be one of the reasons of increasing divorce in our community. In our community around 4% of the people are getting divorced that too at a very young age of 30. See below attachment to see the age.
  10. Every parent are worried about their daughters that she should not get in wrong hands, so it's always better to pass on this liability at a younger age. Now-a-days the place has become bit unsafe especially in places where educated people don't reside.
  11. If one could have affair at the age of 18 then why could not we get legally bonded at a small age? As the decision is not only taken by individual but by the family as a whole. We can start dating at that age find a right match during a period of 2 or 3 years and get legally bonded when the two families agree together.
  12. At old age it becomes difficult for parents to take efforts to find a bride or a groom. As they need physical rest at that age and they can't take much of physical exertion.
  13. Anyhow it takes 2 to 3 years to find a good girl matching everything and it takes one year to get married. So the total comes out to be 4 years. So even if we start the search of bride or groom at the age of 18 for girls and 20 for guys and let them date each other during those periods, we will end up marrying them at the age of 23. Anyhow if a girl registers at 18, take 3 year to choose later on takes 6 months to get engaged and after engagement 6 more months to get married, so after taking into consideration all these things the age come to be 22 and the guy would be around 24 to 25 while getting married. Science says women should avoid pregnancies above the age of 30 and should totally avoid pregnancies above the age of 35. People who just see money as the happiness forget this future happiness. The model suggested is like the guy should get into relationship 6 or more months before getting engaged so that they take a informed decision and later on 6 months after the engagement so as to know each other well before getting married. Marriage is a long term relationship and we should ensure that the bride and the groom know each other and their thinking well before getting married otherwise one can easily guess the repercussions.
  14. At the age of 20 to 22 the guy's education is almost certain and as many are concerned about financial stability, one needs to understand that in today's world every field has money be it engineering, finance etc. and an intelligent person could come up and earn money in any of the fields. Anyhow money gives you satisfaction only till a point of time, beyond that happiness doesn't depend on money.
  15. If we don't take these steps there are very rare chances of pure Brahmins (Both parents Brahmins) remaining for future generations. We need to take these steps to secure our coming generations future. You now take the examples of Parsis as now the community is coming to extinction and this can happen even to our community.
  16. Now the government is going to start sex education. We don't know for sure weather it will have positive or negative impact on our children's.
  17. There are many restrictions on girls before she gets engaged like you restrict your girl from going outside trips, she cannot enjoy late parties etc. but the same restriction doesn't continue after marriage so if the girl gets married at an early stage she might be able to enjoy her life more.
  18. Now laws similar to one existing in the US are being passed where the children has the power to go against the parents’ wishes and can get married to anyone they want. Children’s now even have a power to file a complaint against their parents if the latter uses bad languages against the childrens or use some forceful things. These laws were implemented in US many years back and one could easily see its repercussions.
  19. What is pointed over here is just tip of the iceberg. The implications on the society would be much more harmful if we don't follow this model. The current model of marriage is not sustainable in the long run. There are always clues and advance warnings in the society if you can only interpret them correctly.
  20. As the articles are being circulated the ages of marriage are coming down within our community so one who registers late will get very less choice and will have to adjust for everything.
  21. Many cases in which the couple has made a wrong decision could be seen. The same examples are given below.

We should ensure that we make better futures for our children otherwise we will be responsible if some bad things happen to them. We are collecting feedbacks from various people. Reply to this so that we make a better decision.

These are some of the recently happened examples which came in Times of India. These things crop up regularly in all the newspapers but we seem to ignore it, since such things hasn't happened still in our life. But this could be and would be future threat to our community as a whole. We need to think if this could happen to other communities, it could happen even with our community. Within our community there are many cases as mentioned below but many are suppressed and nobody comes to know the truth. This has even happened in past but we need to ensure that the same thing doesn't happen to our future generations.

Times of India - Mumbai: Dated 1st february 2010, Page 1

State tops inter-caste marriages with Dalits

Subodh Ghildiyal & Swati Mathur I TNN

New Delhi: The figures may be more impressive than they appear at first glance going by the depth of caste divide in the country. India saw 4,750 inter-caste marriages, involving Dalits, in 2008-09 , while the number was slightly lower at 4,205 in 2007-08 . In 2006-07 , the count stood at 3,945.

Though absolute figures for 2010 are awaited, the estimates from states have put it at 5,862, showing that the upward trend has not slackened. These are no mean numbers , given how entrenched caste prejudice is in society where marriage still remains a largely insulated institution.

Andhra Pradesh and Maharashtra lead the chart, registering around 1,000 for three years. In 2010, Maharashtra promises to double its figures to 2,214. Experts may caution against premature celebrations and counsel deeper investigation , but the numbers point at a trend that is perhaps gathering momentum.

Moreover, the fact that the couples in these alliances have stepped forward to document their marriages speaks volumes of the cast-iron social compartments loosening. After all, it was Bhimrao Ambedkar who advocated intermixing of blood as a way to reduce caste animosity.

The devil, however, may be in the detail. Vivek Kumar, sociologist in JNU who tracks Dalit trends , says, The numbers are impressive for sure. But you have to scratch the surface to see how many such ties are between OBCs and SCs. Also, in SC-upper caste marriages, one has to find out how many of the women are from the upper castes.

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Times of India - Mumbai: Dated 22nd february 2010, Page 17

More girls under 15 into sex than boys: Survey

Kounteya Sinha | TNN

New Delhi: This could shock those resisting introduction of sex education in schools.Premarital sex has been found to be common amongyoung men but a higher percentage of women aged 15-24 years have hadsex before reaching the age of 15.

A large scale youth survey conducted under the aegis of the Unionhealth ministry in AndhraPradesh,Bihar,Jharkhand,Maharashtra,Rajasthan and Tamil Nadu hasthrown up some interesting findings.

Around 15% of young men and 4% young women interviewed admitted tohaving premarital sex.Shockingly,24% of the women had premarital sexfor the first time before age 15 compared to 9% men.

Premarital sex was also found to be more common in rural India. According to the report prepared by Population Council,Delhi,and International Institute of Population Sciences,Mumbai,rural youth were more likely than urban ones to have initiated a premarital romantic relationship at age 15 (29% compared to 17% among men,and 46% compared to 31% among women).

Around 6% of rural youth compared to 1% urban youth made their sexual debut before age 18.Over 26% of young men and 40% of young women reported that they had spent time alone with their first romantic partner at age 15 or below.

Many of the reported premarital sexual experiences were risky.Around 25% of young men and 21% of young women reported premarital sex with more than one partner.Moreover,consistent condom use was limited.Only 13% of young men and 3% of young women used condom in premarital encounters.

Sexual relations were generally unsafe across all six states but among young men,multiple partner relations were reported by 32% in five of the six states,and by relatively few (14%) in Rajasthan.

Releasing the study,Union health minister Ghulam Nabi Azad said young Indians face multiple risks vis-a-vis sexual and reproductive health that include pregnancyrelated mortality,delayed abortionseeking,unmet contraceptive need and lack of knowledge to make informed decisions.

One-third of the total reported AIDS cases are below the age of 29.Over 8% of those 15-19-year-olds have experimented with sex either before or outside marriage.And only 37% of young men and 45% of young women knew that a woman can get pregnant at first sex.It is,therefore,of utmost importance that India addresses the challenges of youth effectively, Azad said.

The surveyors spoke to nearly 51,000 married and unmarried young males and females.A significant minority of young men and women had made or received a proposal for a romantic relationship (23%) before marriage,and one in four such cases turned sexual.

The first reported romantic partner was typically a neighbour or friend (said 33% of young men and women ),a fellow student or colleague (said 30% of young men and 16% of young women) or an acquaintance from outside the village/neighbourhood (said 25% of young men and 19% of young women).Around 27% of young women,compared to 9% young men,reported that their first premarital partner was a relative.

Seventy-six % young men (against 66% women) reported that their first premarital sex was mutually consensual.One in seven young women (14%) said their partner had forced them to have sex the first time.

Young Adults Deliver Shock Therapy. A survey on sex habits of Indian youth in five states reveals:

15% of young men and 4% young women interviewed admitted to having

premarital sex

24% of women had premarital sex before age 15 compared to 9% men

6% of rural youth compared to 1% of urban youth had sex before turning 18

Around 25% of young men and 21% of young women reporting premarital

sex had sex with more than one partner

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Times of India - Mumbai: Dated 1st february 2011, Page 1

Draft bill seeks to let 12-yr-olds have non-penetrative sex

Chennai: Twelve-year-old children will be legally permitted to have non-penetrative sex with children of their age, according to a draft Protection of Children From Sexual Offences Bill, 2010, that has been sent to states by the ministry of women and child development for their views.
The bill also seeks to introduce a gradation in the age of consensual non-penetrative sex (12-14 years and 14-16 years) against the existing age of consent for sex which is 16 years. The age of consent in the US is between 16 and 18 years, depending on the state they live in; in the UK it is 16. Spain has one of the lowest age of consent, at 13 years. While a senior official of the ministry of women and child development confirmed that the bill has been sent to state governments, law minister Veerappa Moily said he was not aware of it. “Twelve years is anyway not a proper age for a sexual act,” he told TOI.
Section 3 of the proposed bill lists under exceptions of unlawful sexual act with a child:
(1) Any consensual non-penetrative sexual act penalised by this chapter is not an offence when engaged in between two children who are both over 12 years of age and are either of the same age or whose ages are within two years of each other. (2) when engaged in between two persons who are both over 14 years of age and are either of the same age or whose ages are within three years of each other
The bill will soon be sent to the cabinet, after which a parliamentary standing committee will scrutinise it. Suggestions and objections from the states will be considered then, said a senior official at the ministry of women and child development.