SHIVA FOR ______
LEADER
Each of us confronts death in our own way. Each of us grieves in our own time. Each of us faces the reality of loss differently. No one set of words or rituals will speak to us as we journey through our personal grief.
We are here this evening to support the family of ______, who has been taken from them by death. To be part of this gathering is an act of compassion, loyalty, love and integrity. On behalf of the family, I thank each of you for being here at their time of grief. By being here, you are saying more than words can. You are saying: "I am here for you. I feel your pain. There are no words."
Yet words and rituals are what we have. As limited as they are, words let us give voice to feelings that dwell deep within us.
READER(S)
We grieve for the part of us that is gone.
We feel the absence and a presence
Like spreading seeds of energy,
A relationship that can never end.
We reminisce to moments in time.
Thoughts at play, a loving embrace
A dance of images, a quilt of emotions.
Again the pain, again the questions.
The undeniable escapes our grasp.
The answers elude our inquiry.
We admit to anger at being left behind
At not preventing what is inevitable
At the inequity of life’s circumstance.
We search to find meaning and acceptance.
We can still see the familiar posture
Hear the distinctive voice
A penchant that could aggravate
An expression that spoke volumes
A smile that could charm.
We have known the uniqueness of another soul.
We recreate moments lost in time
We share the deepest feelings of loss
We miss the breath of your presence.
LEADER
At each moment of our lives we encounter gates and behind them beckon the unknown. We have little choice but to enter, and, as we do the gate swings shut behind us. We can never go back. The known, the comfortable, the safe, all things are in the past. Only the unknown, the dangerous, the mysterious and terrifying lay ahead. Moving on makes us human: doing so lightly and at peace makes us divine.
But eventually, we come to the final gate, the final closing. The trail ends, leaving behind only memories of steps taken, leaps tried, grace achieved and shared. How do we mark this final gate? With tears and stories, with memories and love, with food and friends…
And with silence. Silence is the heart of death, and silence alone can do it justice. But silence does not mean passivity, and our tradition speaks of four virtues which form the core of silence.
The first is hearing: hearing the inner voice of our pain and love, rejoicing that nothing, not even the grave, can rob us of that supreme human emotion.
The second is memory: reclaiming the past by refusing to forget the joys it once held. He who once lived among us now lives within us, and there he cannot die.
The third is action: we must honor the dead by continuing to live ourselves. Their memory is quickened only in the fullness of our own lives, our own futures, our ongoing struggles to makes sense out of an often senseless world.
The fourth is wisdom; every life is a teaching, every person a guide to truth. We must allow the wisdom that was in our loved one to become a part of ourselves, that his memory might lead us to even greater wisdom of our own.
Hearing, memory, action, wisdom… may each of these find a place in our silence, our grief and our moving out again into the world where yet another gate beckons wide.…
LET US SING TOGETHER
Zay-kher Tza-dee-keem
Zay-kher Tza-dee-keem, lee-v’ra-kha.
Zay-kher Tza-dee-keem, lee-v’ra-kha
lee-v’ra-kha, lee-v’ra-kha,
Zay-kher Tza-dee-keem, lee-v’ra-kha.
(The remembrance of righteous people is a blessing to us)
LET US READ TOGETHER
Those who held us, and whom we held, we remember them now.
Those who loved us, and whom we loved, we remember them now.
At the rising of the sun, and its going down, we remember them.
When we seek advice that does not come, when we are alone and afraid,
We remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
When we are lost and sick at heart,
When we face decisions that are difficult to make,
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We remember them.
As long as we live they shall live, for they are a part of us.
LIGHTING THE MEMORIAL CANDLE
LEADER
A person's soul is like a flame, bringing light into the world. And just as one can light more candles with a flame without its being diminished, so too a person can give of himself, touching many lives, without ever being diminished.
MOURNERI light this candle in memory of my [father], ______.Though he no longer walks among us, may his light continue to shine within the world. May his memory guide this family that loved him, continuing to strengthen us throughout our lives.
ALLMay ______’s memory offer us comfort as the candle burns brightly.
Baruch ha-or ba-olam.
Blessed is the light within the world.
Baruch ha-or ba-adam.
Blessed is the light within each person.
LEADER
When balance comes
The memory of our time together will once again shine.
When balance comes
The weight of our time together will be an anchor to the time ahead.
When balance comes
We will embrace tomorrow, welcome laughter, rejoice in wonder, remember with joy.
When balance comes
The glow of memory will burn brighter than this flame of loss.
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