Responding to a Crisis with Friendship
Vayeshev, 5769
Shmuel Herzfeld
The American Jewish Congress won’t disclose the amount it lost. The school I went to for eleven years, YeshivaUniversity, lost 110 million. S.A.R, a Jewish Day School in Riverdale, lost one third of its endowment. Ramaz, a Jewish Day School in New York City where my mother went to school (as did our current Attorney General) lost 6 million dollars. Maimonides, a Jewish school in Boston founded by Rabbi Soloveitchik, lost several million dollars of its endowment. Yad Sarah, an organization in Israel dedicated to helping people with disabilities lost 1.5 million dollars from a fund for respirators. At least two Jewish charities have already closed as a result of the scandal involving the recent arrest of Bernard Madoff.
Elie Wiesel and Steven Spielberg both lost a lot of money from their charitable foundations and published reports say that the Kaplan foundation, a wonderful local foundation lost 29 of its 30 million dollars. Brandeis, Technion, and probably many others lost as well. Sadly, the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington reported that our own federation hadmore than $10 million dollars invested with Bernard Madoff.
Many people who had invested heavily with Mr. Madoff have had their lives thrown into turmoil. Perhaps the most unfortunate group of people in all this, of course, is the needy people whose lives depend upon receiving charitable grants. We can not yet be sure how widespread this impact will be but it is certainly a grim day for the world of Jewish philanthropy.
I would like to offer two suggestions based upon this week’s Torah portion as to what we as a community can do in response to this crisis.
This week’s portion contains in it a chapter which is arguably one of the most important chapters in the Bible, Genesis Chapter 38. The reason why this chapter is so important is because it ends with the birth of Peretz, the son of Judah. This same Peretz also appears at the end of the book of Ruth when we trace the lineage of King David back to Peretz. So the origin of both King David and the future Messianic King can be directly traced backed to this chapter.
What is so special about this chapter that it literally gives birth to the Messiah?
The background for this chapter is that Judah is depressed. After Judah suggests to his brothers that they sell Joseph, the Torah tells us that Judah separated himself from his brothers. The text says, vayered Yehudah me-et echav, which literally means Judah goes down from his brethren. The expression “he goes down” implies that he is depressed. He names his first born child, Er, which means awaken. Judah is sad and he wants to arise from his depression. We can speculate that he deeply regrets his leadership role in selling Joseph.
But things just go from bad to worse for Judah. First, Judah’s two eldest sons die. Then his wife dies. He is reluctant to marry his third son off to the intended bride Tamar, for fear that she is the one who caused his first two sons to die. Judah is in a rut and all alone. His brothers and father are nowhere to be found.
But there is one notable exception who sticks with Judah through everything. In this story the text tells us that Judah has a friend named Chirah the Adulamite. The Torah calls him Chirah rei-ehu, Chirah his friend. My friend, Moish Linzer, taught me that this is the first time in the Bible that the word, “friend” appears.
As a methodological point, the first time a word appears in the Bible it is especially important and it often serves to underscore the deeper concept behind the word.
The first time a “friend” appears in the Torah it is in the context of the birth of the Messiah, the king of Israel. In other words friendship is the key to bringing the Messiah.
The Talmud in Tractate Taanit tells us “o chavrut o matuta, give me a friend or give me death.” We can not live without a friend who can help us through life. What is it that a friend does?
We must look in the Bible and understand where else the word Adulami appears. Judah’s friend is Chirah the Adulamite. The next time Adulami appears is in a story about Judah’s descendant, King David.
In the Book of Samuel (I Samuel 22:1), we are told that King Saul is pursuing David with the intent to kill him. David is a fugitive from a powerful king. He escapes and runs to a hiding place. The Bible tells us that when his father’s entire house heard that David was in trouble, they gathered with him to help him. David ran away and he thought he was all alone. But then his familyand friends ran towards him to help him. This place that David ran to has a name. Itwas called: maarat adulam, the cave of Adulam.
The cave of Adulam, and the name Adulam, is the symbol of friendship. One of the main tasks of a friend is running to him when he is in his time of need.
This is what the cave of Adulam was about. David’s friends gathered in the cave to help David. And this is what Adulam did for Judah. Judah was depressed and he had no one to help him. No one except, Adulam, who was there for him. Judah had an embarrassing debt to pay so he called Adulamto help him.
The birth of the messiah is intertwined with this fundamental teaching about friendship. When things are difficult a friend is one who does not run away, but instead runs to help. Such friendship can bring the messiah.
A spiritual community is supposed to be a model of friendship. When we join together in a community to pray, we are also committing to help each other in our times of need. A friend is one who participates and shares in moments of joy, and, most of all, a friend is someone who reaches out unconditionally in moments of need.
This week I suggest that we all need to be friends to these wonderful charities that have been hurt. Of course, as individuals, most of us can not make up the tens of millions of dollars that these Jewish charities have lost. But we can run and offer to help these charities. My guess is that aside from losing the money these charities are demoralized and need help with their morale in order to maintain the energy that is required for their holy work. Even if we just send small, token donations, it will be very much appreciated. By doing so, we can show that they are not alone in their struggles; we are their friends.
Friendship is the symbol of helping in a time of need and it is this symbol which is also the symbol of the messiah.
What we need to do is restore the beauty of friendship. We can do this by reaching out to those charities betrayed in this scandal.
But there is another symbol of friendship that is also deeply linked to the coming of the messiah. This lesson too, is taught Genesis Chapter 38.
Perhaps even more upsetting than the loss of millions of dollars is the sense of betrayal by one of our own.
Even if we did not lose money directly with Mr. Madoff and even if the charities we support are fine and will be fine, many of us feel a deep pain in our gut. As a graduate of YeshivaUniversity (High School, college, rabbinical school, and graduate school) I winced and groaned when I read that the largest Ponzi scheme in history was pulled off by the Treasurer of the University who is also the Chairman of the University’s BusinessSchool. Ouch! Oy! How embarrassing for all of us! What a Chilul Hashem!
But this same chapter in Genesis guides us on this matter as well.
Prior to this chapter the image we have of Judah is of a cut throat person who wants to make money at all costs.
Judah’s brothers want to murder Joseph. Judah perhaps has the potential to save Joseph entirely. Instead what does he say, “Mah betza, what profit is there in murdering Joseph?” Instead let us sell him.
Judah is willing to sell his own brother for money.
But then he meets Chirah who is called his friend. The great commentator, Rashi, tells us that Chirah was his business partner.
Up until this point in the book of Genesis every business transaction has been shady. Think about Jacob stealing the blessings or his business interaction with Lavan. Think about Isaac and his shepherds fighting with Avimelech over the wells. Think about Avraham and his shrewd negotiations with Efron and his fear that Efron would double cross him.
But now for the first time we see between Judah and Chirah an honest business relationship. There is tremendous trust between them. One honest relationship leads to another. It is no accident—it is a direct result of having an honest friend--that Judah rises to a great moral challenge that faces him in this chapter.
After Judah accidentally and secretly impregnates Tamar she is being brought out to be burnt to death. Only Judah knows she is innocent and he has a choice he can save her or he can let her die. Judah rises to this great moral challenge and he admits that it is he who is wrong. He says, Tzadkah mimeni, she is more righteous than me.
For the first time in Judah’s life, and perhaps even for the first time in the book of Genesis, and thus perhaps for the first time in the history of the world, there is a person speaking with absolute honesty. This honesty is the source of the messiah, as Tamar then gives birth to Peretz.
The task of a true friend is to be honest. A friend must be honest with his friend but also teach his friend how to be honest. Judah learns from his friend how to be honest and from this honesty the messiah is born.
One of the most difficult things to do in life is to be honest when it comes to money. However especially now we must always challenge ourselves in this area to strive to greater and greater levels of honesty. The only way to correct this desecration of God’s name is to strive for a level of honesty that makes our community known as the honest community. How I wish our community could become legendary for its honesty the way Abraham Lincoln is known for his honesty.
This great challenge of honesty will come to us once a day, or once a week. We will have an opportunity to do something that no one else can possibly know about. Maybe we can save a penny or a dollar or a million dollars. But that is the precise moment where we are being challenged by God. And it is that moment that the messiah’s arrival entirely depends upon.
In the Book of Samuel (1 Samuel 15: 28), the prophet Samuel turns to Saul and says God has torn the messianic kingship from you and given it, lereiachah hatov mimechah. This is usually translated as “your friend who is better than you.” But it can also be translated as, “to someone who is a better friend than you.”
The Jewish community is suffering now. As a result of this scandal and others our reputation has been damaged tremendously. We need to follow the direction of this morning’s portion and strive to be model friends: this requires us to run to those in need and constantly strive for the path of honesty.
Over and over again we are reading press reports that Mr. Madoff played on his close friendships with people in order to gain their trust. Many of these people might feel like the very idea of friendship has been destroyed. However, we can never give up on this concept which is a core value of spirituality.
What we need to do is restore the beauty of friendship.
If we are good friends then, and only then, will we be worthy of the Messiah’s arrival.
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