Research Paper Structural Analysis and Revision

Structural Analysis

  1. Underline your thesis statement. What type of hook did you use to catch the reader’s attention? How effective is it?
  2. In the conclusion, underline the thesis echo (your re-worded thesis). What type of conclusion did you use to finalize your essay? How effective is it?
  3. Highlight each introduction to a quote [ends with parenthetical citation (Smith 28)].
  4. Highlight the commentary that follows each quote. Commentary means the sentences/parts of sentences where you discuss the content of the quote and relate it to your ideas, before you go on to a new idea or another quote.

Works Cited/Internal Citations

  1. Number the pages in your essay, if they are not already numbered in the header.
  2. Go to the Works Cited Page. In the right margin, next to each entry, hand-write the page where the reader will find at least one internal citation for that source.
  3. If there is no internal citation, you can’t include source on the Works Cited Page.
  4. CONVERSELY, if there is no entry on the Works Cited Page, you cannot have an internal citation for a source. If you find that you have left one off, handwrite it on the Works Cite Page prior to turning it in.
  5. Be sure to hand in marked Works Cited Page before you leave class today.

[NOTE: This will NOT appear on your final draft, but you will need to determine that each source on the Works Cited Page is used in your essay]

Quick Tip Revisions

  1. Put a BLOCK/SQUARE around the 1st word of every sentence. What do you notice? As you revise, vary your sentence structure.
  2. CIRCLE dead words:
  3. Forms of “to be” (is, are, was, were, seem) and other helping verbs (has, have, had)
  4. Vague Pronouns: it, he, she, they, them, this, that, these, those
  5. Basic verbs: says, said, means
  6. Fluffy Words: things, everything, something, nothing, anything, some, stuff, many, very, good, bad, sad, glad, mad, different, unique, etc.

Rainbow Revision

Using colored pencils, pens, or markers, read through your essay and mark:

Red: hot wordsDiction

Yellow: golden linesDetails

Commentary/Analysis

Orange: cheesy

Green: has potential

Blue: flu, makes me sick

Black: toxic waste, delete (In this essay, I will tell you/you will learn) 