The Healing Codes12.18.20081
Thursday Night Q&ATom Costello
Tom Costello: The Healing Codes Question and Answer teleconference. My name is Tom Costello and on behalf of Dr. Alex Loyd Services, LLC and The Healing Codes family I welcome you to the call. Tonight in this hemisphere it is December 18, 2008. Everything on this call is being recorded. This recording is available as a download from our website: thehealingcodes.com.
Tonight I ask anybody who has a question about The Healing Codes or process or a given situation that they want to work on I’d be glad to design a Custom Code.
Why don’t I just go right into the disclaimers and that is that The Healing Codes are not intended to diagnose or treat any physical or mental condition or their symptoms. The Healing Codes deal with issues of the heart and it is on those spiritual issues that we focus our attention. The opinions I express are mine. If they serve you I’m pleased. If not, just let them go flying by. You don’t need to deal with them if they don’t do you any good. Just let them go flying by.
With that thought in mind let me open up the floor to see somebody has a question or situation. Gail, are you still on board?
Participant: (Gail) I understand where you’re coming from tonight and I’m really sorry about it, for my selfish point, and also for the fact that you are – I experience you as an amazing, generous, in depth teacher and explainer of the Codes and a great listener. I’ve added some adjectives or adverbs just because they’re needed.
Tom Costello: Thank you. What’s doing with you?
Participant: What I would like is a Custom Code relative to addressing the self-control issue. However, from a place where I do self-control from my heart rather than any judgmental place and I really take charge of my life from my heart beginning now and moving forward. I add those words because my tendency has been to move forward in a way that I burn out and don’t really stay with truth and love.
Tom Costello: Why do you think you burn out?
Participant: I think because, one, I’m not focused, two, I think there are some unfinished generational patterns that say you can’t do and love and what you do and who you love. I woke up one morning the other day hearing the words, “You cannot lie any longer about what you love.” Or, “You can no longer not do what you love.” Something like that. There’s a lot that I love, however, in going with the books, “The Masters and Teachers of the Far East”, I tend to use too much of my energy verses conserve it and let God do more of the work. But a huge generational pattern in that both my parents and myself were married to people based upon religion and approval, versus love. That was a heartbreak for all of us.
That’s a big proof. Plus whatever else you’re hearing.
Tom Costello: Well, I’m hearing a dilemma that a lot of people face. That is hearing the voices of “shoulds”. Why do we do a lot of stuff? Because we should. Why do we not do stuff? Because we shouldn’t. A lot of those “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” are not 2008 oriented. They were not created in 2008. They don’t take into consideration us as individuals, where we live, the time in our lives and so on. These are programming statements that were delivered to us and we’ve been following them.
It’s almost like the statement that we get when we’re children. “Don’t play in traffic. Don’t talk to strangers.” In the context of childhood that advice is good. We don’t want kids playing in traffic and we don’t want them talking to strangers especially if we live in a larger town or city simply because we’re not certain of all the variables. As we get older pretty much everybody is a stranger except people we’ve known for years and years and you do want to talk to them. Driving a car oftentimes is like playing in traffic. Going across the street is like playing in traffic. If we have all these admonitions about what not to do, -- “Don’t do this. Don’t do that… You should do this. You should do that”—We have really given over control of our lives to the rules and the rule-makers.
Some of these rules are designed to protect us, especially the two that I mentioned when we’re children. But a lot of rules are designed for the convenience of the rule-maker, not the ruled. Consequently if we live by them we go, “I don’t understand. I’m living by all these rules but it’s incredibly inconvenient. And frankly I don’t like it.” Why? Because in order to live by somebody else’s rules we have to give up our freedom. Instead of us making our own decisions about the way we live our lives we have these very quiet “shoulds” whispering in our ears. We make decisions – “oh, you shouldn’t do that. Oh, you should do that. Oh, what will the neighbors think?” Those kinds of things that we’ve heard from our parents. You go, whew!
Part of the burnout, I would guess, is when we undertake an activity because we should. That’s like having a fireplace and we use a rolled-up page of newspaper to create a fire. It gives a burst of flame and you can feel it, but that fire doesn’t sustain. It’s gone. We might be able to take one step but then we run out of steam or then burn out. “Wow, it must be something wrong with me.” No, I don’t think so. It’s not us. The fuel we’re using to motivate us, “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”, don’t have the burning power. They don’t have the enthusiasm, the fire like a “Want to”.
I would suggest that when you’re considering what you are going to do make sure you really want to do it. There are some things that you have to do. You’ve got to put food on the table and you’ve got to pay the rent or mortgage and put gas in the tank. And you may not want to initially, but you can change that. You can go, “I have a car that I can put gas in the tank. Man, I think it’s time for me to get some gratitude. And I have a home that I have to pay rent or mortgage on. It’s time for me to get some gratitude.” I want to take care of this. I want to feel good about these activities. It’s kind of like writing a check to pay a bill. “Oh, I don’t want to pay this (growling).” On the other hand you can do, “I’m lucky I have a bill to pay. There are billions of people on the planet who would go, ‘You can pay a bill? Oh, man, how lucky is that. You can write a check and pay a bill for services already rendered? That’s unbelievable. You don’t have to pay cash on the barrel head, face to face?’ No, we write a check and mail it.” “Oh, that’s unbelievable.”
I think we can convert have-tos into want-tos. You want to watch and if the to-do list is 10 “shoulds” and a couple of “want-tos” you can understand why there is burn out.
That self-control for the heart is to engage the heart energy. To my way of thinking it’s because you want to undertake this activity. You can see this activity as building strength, building this or that, prepping you for the next growth phase of your life where you’re making decisions and being much more causative than you have been earlier. “This is great. This is a progression. This is great and I like this.” That’s a whole different experience.
Participant: This is a little embarrassing to share. Out of my “I should be” something else… Today I had an experience. My son had such challenges for the past year – in three houses; moved by his company, moved by his company. Now his son has been rushed by the ambulance to the hospital this week. He was in surgery today and his small intestine was sucked into his large intestine causing great pain. This is the second time in his 4-year-old lifetime. On and on things have been happening for them. I went to pick some packages up for them where they are renting a space. They were waiting for a house to sell. They refused letting me have it, even though he had called and I had him on the phone and whatever. In my frustration I said, “Where is the compassion here?” They said, “Sorry, rules!”
As I walked out one of the four people sitting in the office on desks and chairs and whatever said, “Have a good day.” I did not behave as Jesus would. I turned around and said, “That was absolutely the wrong thing to say at this time to end this conversation.” I left. One person came out and said, “You said it to me and I didn’t say it. I think you owe me an apology.” I did. I apologized to that person. As I got in my car I kept praying and saying “I need to go back and apologize.” I heard this wise voice saying to me, “No, you don’t. You need to look at all the rules that you’ve been following that were not from the heart but were from other people’s convenience. You need to look at all the rules you’ve made that you’ve been following that are under the same line, just as this rule did not serve at this moment.”
Then you give me this information that is absolutely perfect, just the lesson that I had today. I appreciate it.
Tom Costello: I would encourage you to let yourself off the hook for loosing your temper. It is what Jesus did. He went into the temple and got really pissed off. “You guys are operating on a set of rules that absolutely make no sense and it’s a violation of ….” You meant people who weren’t willing to take responsibility for a decision so they fall back to the lazy man’s place, “it’s a rule”. Why? “It’s a rule.” It saves me the trouble of thinking, saves me the trouble of actually being a human being. “I’m just following a rule. I’m mindless.” The company must be getting what they’re looking for if they’ve got that kind of unengaged person. That’s sad, especially at this time of the year.
Participant: Thank you so much, Tom. (Tom tests for the Code.) I think you can also give yourself credit. Actually a lot of people, and I stereotype this, women, are uncomfortable getting angry. It’s not something you were allowed to do, generally speaking, in this culture when you were little girls. Boys could get angry and have tantrums. It’s just written off, “They’re boys. What do you expect?” But a girl does that and there’s going to be hell to pay.
How do these people get feedback that maybe thinking ought to be a requirement in their jobs. If everybody walks in like a sheep and walks out like a sheep these people “rules, rules, end of story.” Now they go, “I wonder if that lady was right? We had the person on the phone. Ah? Who are these rules for? Who are we trying to protect? It’s certainly not about the customer. Maybe this is a wake up call. Why don’t we think about this?” It is those kinds of interactions that will help them. Let’s wake up. Obviously we made somebody really unhappy. That’s not why we are in business.
You probably served a great purpose for those folks and from the emotional state standpoint: shame, apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, pride, courageousness, acceptance and peace. There is a corollary. A lot of people are uncomfortable getting angry. It’s not Christian. It’s not ladylike. Well, you don’t want to be walking around like that all day, but we do have that key on our keyboard. We can play that note. Who designed it? If we didn’t have access to it, it shouldn’t have been designed in there in the first place. We don’t have three ears. Why? Because the designer determined we didn’t need three ears.
Be a sheep, be a sheep, then all of a sudden get angry about something – that’s a higher state than shame, apathy, grief, fear, lust. That’s major improvement. You’re only a couple steps away from courageousness which is a place where you can accomplish the most. You go, "AT-A-GIRL”. Good for you. I express myself. Really, expressing myself with awareness is what this is all about. (Tom delivers the Code.) If you don’t work hard at it I would do that four or five times a day.
Now this is a female thing more than a male thing. Think of yourself almost like you’re taking a bubble bath; real warm, luxurious, relaxing. Stuff that doesn’t belong to you will soak off as you do these Healing Codes. That’s really what you’re doing. You’re letting what doesn’t belong to you find its rightful place which is somewhere else. You don’t scrub it out. You don’t pull it out with tweezers. You realize that vibration is so dissimilar to the relaxed state, the hopeful state, the empowered state, this loving state, this strong state, this courageous state that you’re in that anything not like that will go, “Oops, I don’t belong here” and it’s gone.
It’s like a shadow in the room where you turn the light on. We don’t spend time getting a broom to chase the dark out of the room. We don’t do that. We turn the light on. It’s easy. No need to struggle. Struggle is old fashioned. Okay?
Participant: Yes. Thanks you so much. Have a wonderful holiday.
Tom Costello: You’re welcome. No call next Thursday. Is there somebody on the call who would be interested in a Custom Code, make a comment, ask a question, tell a story?
Participant: (Pat) If you’re working on a Code as part of the healing is that attitude change about what you’re working on like you’re not as concerned about it, or not as caught up with it?
Tom Costello: Yes. I phrase it like this. You are changing your relationship with an event or a situation so that it goes from being a saber-toothed tiger to a little pussy cat. Because it’s no longer a saber-toothed tiger and threatening, you don’t go into fight or flight so your body’s immune system is working. Your brain is working best. Your circulatory system is working best. Your digestion is working best. Your cells are growing, working best. Your metabolism is working best.
Participant: With a Custom Code for a particular issue do you use the same Code until you are over that issue?
Tom Costello: You can do it that way or you can come back on this call, or if you’re working with a coach, they, after a period of time would probably create a different Code. Let’s say you’re dealing with problem A. That’s what your focus is. Even though it seems as though problem A is still with you a week later, in fact the resolution of problem A is much closer after seven days than it was seven days earlier. It’s kind of like going on a trip. If you started driving from Indianapolis to Phoenix, you’re not going to be there in 12 hours, but you’d recognize that you did make progress. If we’re talking about a physical thing, how long does it take for a physical thing to shift? I don’t know. It takes as long as it takes, but before the physical things shifts, the energetic thing must shift.
Participant: Then one other question. When the one guy healed himself of the Lou Gehrig’s disease in 6 weeks, does anyone know how often he was doing the Codes?
Tom Costello: Yes. Every single day without fail.
Participant: Constantly throughout the day or like an hour a day?
Tom Costello: Yep, on average he spent 30 minutes of Codes up to 3 hours of Codes per day. That’s how he did it. He didn’t go digging around for pictures or past experiences. He just knew he wanted to heal.
Participant: I get it. That’s good.
Tom Costello: I had received a Code probably three or four weeks ago now and it was for something related to money or something along those lines. I did the Code and then I had an opportunity that was presented to me, but it fell through. That brought about my question. If you’re doing the Codes and an opportunity of that sort presents itself, then what causes it to fall through?
Tom Costello: That’s a good question. I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that some opportunities are not really opportunities. They’re pretend. They’re not real. You could say, “Oh, I’m about to buy that land”, and then it falls through. You discover later on there was no land. It didn’t exist. You were about to fall into a trap and be taken advantage of, defrauded. “Oh, I’m glad it fell through rather than my money go bye-bye.” Maybe something in you repelled it or, as it got closer and closer it wasn’t a good match.
I happen to be looking at an object. When I align with that object – it’s a piece of glassware that my wife and I bought in California. I recall the day and I recall the store. It was so beautiful. I’m just looking at that now. I see it almost every day, but I don’t notice it. In your imagination you could look at the thing you have in mind, be it a physical healing or a financial opportunity or (fill in the blank). As you think about it you’re going to probably experience fears and doubts, “I’ve tried this before.” That lower end of the spectrum; shame, “Everybody could have this but not me. Something is wrong with me.” “It’s hopeless.” “If I had it I’d have it taken away or I’d loose it or it would fall through.” You can get to fear as, “Uh-oh, uh-oh!” Then you can look at the next levels. That’s where, “I’ve absolutely got to have this. I must have it. This is everything to me.” Craving, that’s where addictions are. Above that is anger, being mad that you didn’t get it, being mad at people who have it, being mad that it fell through, being mad that you don’t already have it in a big quantity. Then above that is pride. “I don’t need that. That’s ridiculous. Anybody who has that amount of money, there’s something wrong with them.” Kind of looking down the nose at people. If you find yourself in any one of those, that’s a push-away. That’s pushing away what we want.