Rachel Transcript Excerpt 1

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Excerpt 1

Rachel Transcript Excerpt 1

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Excerpt 1

[00:33:49] S: So let's talk... What-- I think I get some of it. What, are your... you can start explaining if you want or I can ask you..

R: Ok, so there's Rachel with her I guess educational strengths or talents I guess recognition of what she likes. If you ask Rachel to take a quiz she... I'm also talking about myself in the 3rd person ok,

S: Uhhuh, nah it's good.

R: If you ask me to take a quiz... like oh... I actually took one of those Buzzfeed quizzes the other day. And it was like what career is really good for you. And like writer, which I tried, which I was like ah... personally yeah... That's what like, I guess an honest quiz would be.

S: Yep... (laughter)

R: And-- and then there's like educational reality with like, what she does really like and wants to invest time in because she recognizes it's very useful for society and can be really cool. Um cool (with all fire?) at the end um. So then there's, so there's two parts of Rachel. Um, these are the things that just naturally resulted from, I guess based off of environment and I guess previous educational experiences parents friends family, that she thinks are really useful to her. Or to myself. So um in high school and when I was actually growing up uh I do in terms of, cause a lot of times people have like a huge, like when we were in language class we were talking like is it, are you born to be a STEM major or to go into, is it is it really something that if you don't start off, is it true that you're less likely not like, you're less likely to in high school (flip?) that choice or the certain association a lot of factors, racial factors, so we were talking about this and I was thinking oh, well, when I was growing up like I'm the only engineering major in my english class so when I was growing up, like I didn't study math, like I didn't go to tutoring centers like everyone else. You know, didn't go to math camp science camp, didn't go to those coding camps they have for like 6 year olds in silicon valley, um they actually do and you can like make your own app, at the age of 7, which is totally!, I mean, it's just different.

S: Yeah

R: So um, yeah so I was like, my parents would bring me to museums that consisted of lots of-- (switch color...green)-- So my parents took me to tons of museums, forced me to read lots of newspapers, articles and I joined the summer reading club in like kindergarten. So this is like-- these 3 things kind of completely natural and it wasn't until high school that I seriously that I, I read science through literature. So I think I was thinking-- I was talking to my roommate about this, this is a very interesting fact, like in 3rd grade, I still remember this too, this is going to sound super cheesey. But in 3rd grade there was this one section of like really famous people, I don't know like miniature biographies for like 3rd graders, on like influential people throughout history, so like Florence Nightingale and Clara Barton, I was like oh these women are so cool. And there was one about Louis Pasteur, and when I read that book, and it was a really nice book cause the colors were really bright and the authors did a great job, I was like I want to do that. I want to make vaccines and pharmaceuticals, and my career goal stuck. I told myself in the 3rd grade I was going to go into biochemistry. Chemical Engineering is not that far off.

S: Mmhmm

R: Um, so it stuck in like 3rd grade! But the I guess the way I found out about this (Science) was through this (Humanities)[1]. And through that method of so-- the way I learned all of this, I did-- how I learned that, made me want to learn this (Science).

S: That's interesting.

R: Does that make sense? So...

[00:37:40] By learning about like, I don't know, by reading the articles, we had tons of subscriptions, I don't know. My parents would never let me watch tv maybe typical Asian parent thing. No video games. Um.. Like Bloomberg and I read Business Week. And um, by learning about like ok like oil or um the tech section of stock and censorship in China and Google and everything. When I was growing up Google was still like you know they were just really kicking it off-- so I thought that was really cool, but I from-- I I read about it, I didn't. My parents weren't in the industry so um, being going to museums and going watching I mean getting my own science kits and stuff. I felt really great because it was all about this(Humanities/Cultural Complexity). Great Pedagogy, um... I had lots of perspective because my parents spoke to me-- oil Saudi Arabia, blah blah blah. Um, I learned about like girls in different cultures um, so I really appreciated science through this stuff(Humanities). Like...

S: Right.

R: Um, so when it came to I guess, so now I'm gonna fit-- I'll put like life events (haha) at the bottom. Because we have so.. this is like... here, so like half way through. Um, I went to CTY.

S: Oh cool.

R: Um, which was the Johns Hopkins run camp. And that was my first introduction to like the other half of like, all the kids I was going to be competing with to go to like the top 10% schools. Basically it was freshmen year. I saw these kids we had the same exact list of schools, wanted to go into science. Um, it was like 9th grade. And that was when I realized, like 1-- I sucked at (ooh.. gosh...). Um, you're probably gonna be sick of hearing me talk after this!...

S: No no..

R: 1- I suck at math.

S: Ok...

R: I don't suck, I was was pretty weak at math. I didn't have natural. My sister has a lot more aptitude for learning math. She's a lot more disciplined than I am. And I was always good at this stuff. And this. (Humanities) Which didn't require much structural discipline I guess. Technical-- to practice. Um, I didn't have any issues with it but start, going to middle school I had really weak algebra training. Like really really weak algebra training. Wasn't good at math. 2- My SAT scores in 8th grade even though I was in 8th grade. Like I guess weren't. My parents wanted me actually, interesting, kind of effect of this, my parents wanted me to get into the science course at CTY. Because you could take them for high school credit sometimes. Like-- oh this is great, it'll look great on your resume. Um, unfortunately my SAT scores were not up to par. Less than they required, but I managed to get into the creative writing program.

[00:40:51] S: Yeah, I remember this now.

R: This was like..

S: (Camp.. )

R: yeah for creative writing. Um, everyone in that program, wanted to do something like this(Humanities). Like right here. But I wanted to go here(Science). Um, and I just told myself. My parents were like, you know they were paying a lot of money for this too, and you know what-- it's a great experience like you have the time of your life. Economy's still good so people weren't really considering

S: Weren't stressed.

R: Yeah weren't stressed about sending you to summer camps, you know, keeping you at home saving gas, blah blah blah. Um, so I didn't really. I was like oh this is like the one time I get to do fun stuff. I considered this-- that's a good point too. I considered this fun, versus like academic credibility. Like I didn't consider that, worth credi.... wasn't worth it. I guess like it wasn't something rigorous or prestigious or worth enough in terms of like the majority of lets see. 50% Asian, 20% Jewish or white, 3% the rest of that is like other white European, 3% like "minority." Asians are no longer a minority, minority population because every I knew who I was friends with, they all premed. Medical school, engineering. Again they were like groomed for this like. Not groomed but, they already had.... this stuff. Like checked off. My parents did help a lot with that but they were pretty, again they were great parents, like they let me do what I like.

[00:42:43] And I'm so then we get to high school.

And in high school um, I guess um progressing to reality. I.. first of all like I, um I took physics and I was great at physics. So I guess... I was really good at Physics.

--Excerpt removed, tangential--

R: Ok so high school, I tried, I took all different classes I was really bad at math because, middle school preparation, was just not... (high school preparation..) was not good.

S: Mmhmm..

R: Um, So in high school I succeeded I put a check at chemistry physics. Cause um, I had great teachers. And they really let me talk. Like I bring articles in. Again I would bring them articles that I would read from all these journals, about all the stuff right, talking about it in class and um, my junior year I think I mentioned this before, they let me t/a, I wasn't called t/a, lab assistant for the freshmen class and create experiments for them. And help you know them with their lab projects. And stuff, and help set up the outreach of the like science electives for all the middle school kids.

[00:44:27] And I got to lead a couple labs on them, stuff like that. Um, so I liked it a lot I felt pretty confident. And my teachers did too. I think I was one of the few students who actually went to an ABET accredited engineering school. I think I was the only one..? There's two other people I know but they. They went to Villanova University um.. Villanova's, I don't know if it's ABET accredited. But.. All I know is that Maryland is... so anyway, they were pretty confident. In the end. I wasn't, so I was confident in myself too. Somehow, I didn't really, I was like oh-- I could always deal with this stuff later. Again I consider this fun, versus academic credibility. It wasn't all these(Humanities), these are now like disciplines you can study them and get degrees and get paid for your knowledge.

S: Mmhmm.

R: But I didn't consider that again like worth it..

[00:45:33] So.. we get to... college. So we had chemical engineering.

S: Ok.. this side's kind of college.

R: Ok... it, this is like 4, I guess. Um... And... Um, ok so coming in.. let's see. I knew that my technical ability, versus some other students, was not good. Um.. yeah I was never good at taking exams. So my technical ability is, I mean I know my stuff but I can't perform on exams.

S: Uhhuh...

R: So... zero of this (Humanities)helped with technical ability. So... technical ability, none of this stuff(Humanities), everything I've been prepared for in my life did not help with that.

S: Ok

R: But so then. But helping with, I guess. Um. All of these stuff, but this is where it deviates again. So the reality is none of this stuff (Huamanities) technically helps for what counts I guess like

S: Nice..

R: I'm gonna put dollars... for what counts because it comes at the end of the day... um.. monetary.. people equate. For what counts. But for everything that I think it should count for or I personally believe I still have the advantage of over other students. I think that most of this counts so like Um, taking latin and having teachers who would be like integrative in their plans, um, helps me a lot I mean not helped me. I believe will help me a lot yeah in the real world when I actually get a job.

S: Mmhmm..

R: To um, look at a subject from like different mediums, we did plays we did poetry...

S: Cool

R: We did movies based in current times. Um, and reading actually studying poetry in latin. So like, Latin is one of those like, English is the only language where the words are in order.

S: Mmhmm..

R: Chronological. Every other language in the entire world is not chronological whatsoever. Latin when they would write poetry like Odysseus went into the cave, Odysseus would come after the word cave, cause he's going in. So studying that is like, really intense but really great because I was able to like visualize it-- So I think that would help (?) later on when I would design things um, and then in an-- being in an all girls school and learning all of this stuff in my high school too, which was a huge emphasis on i guess like, social responsibility. And learning literature which basically covers like history and the world. I think would help with my interpersonal skills as a professional um, plurality, working with other companies, working in a different global environment. Um, teaching other people with different factors coming in, like if you're an engineer you have to be able to... deviate. Um, yeah, so that's what my belief is coming from chemical engineering I would be able to solve complex problems, collaborate, and be creative. Now the reality is, um... far... it's it's very heavily reliant on technical ability um external nurturing, which like is I guess your high school preparation and gender distance.

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Excerpt 2

Rachel Transcript Excerpt 2

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Excerpt 2

Now the reality is, um... far... it's (Engineering)[2]it's very heavily reliant on technical ability um external nurturing, which like is I guess your high school preparation and gender distance. Like, today I'm wearing this dress. I could tell walking down some of the halls, people were just like what the hell were you... like why are you, like their face was just confused like.

S: Yeah.

R: Why are you wearing a dress? Why are you dressed like, what's practical about that. I mean like wh.. I notice that too cause sometimes I'm doing when I see a girl walking by and she's wearing a nice like picnic outfit. I'm like why are you doing that? You're in a science program. And then I stop myself and I'm like-- Fuck you society! Like this is why I think this way. Like I.. there shouldn't be.. again like, if you show some parts of. I guess like, sometimes people will say like if you're artistically inclined you dress a certain way. I don't know, you go to urban outfitters and you know. So. You know. Someone told me, I mentioned this before, someone told me I dress like an art student.

S: Yeah you said

R: And I took personal offense at that cause I was like, I'm not supposed to be one! I was like, I don't know what that that means. So like I like as today I was just walking into the Physics building and I could see some people's faces. Cause we have a, we have a last dinner it's like a luau theme so everyone's supposed to dress kind of beachy even though it's raining. So I though I'll just wear this to class it's no big deal And then I was like walking around campus and I could tell some people's faces were like. What are you doing here. Like, are you visiting? Wh.. Like why... So...

-- Interviewer shares a similar anecdote--

R: Yeah, yeah... so I think-- That's also like. I wouldn't say discrimina-- I think it's just gender distance, of which is not a real thing. I guess, again there's no understanding or at least ever at least point of acknolwedgement of the other, what we bring to the table.

S: Ok

R: Versus the average person who's gonna fulfill this role. Of technical engineer.

S: Ok

R: So like um, for example like I had a conversation with my really good friend yesterday. About like me being snobby and. I'm from Connecticut so you know preppy jokes or stereotypes I've heard them all, like that, but um often time when we're talking I'll say oh did you see this movie or did you read this book did you hear about this thing or oh you should maybe wearing a jacket you should always button it's 3 piece buttons you never button the first one if you have two you always go from top to bottom if you have 3 you should always. It was something like that. And he was like, that's like a waste of information, or something, not a waste of information but the fact of the matter is, sometimes girls or women care about aesthetics and even not just aesthetics of appearance but there are other aesthetics we could bring in like-- Today some one of my friends got sunburned because over the weekend she went sunbathing, and as soon as she walked into our 101 class a couple of guys in the front said "why the hell is she sunburned?.. Like what's up with that?" And someone was like "yeah why'd she go outside to sunbathe? Who is she looking to impress?" And it's like-- just cause-- she has every right to go to the beach and get sunburned if she wants to! I don't think that's discredits (?) her academic ability to perform but I know for a fact that, to them-- it looks like she's spending her time out not focusing on this because, and it seems like a very trivial example, but I think um. Like sometimes I feel like when I'm dressing up for like events, awards ceremonies here and whatever. I have to dress down. Because it appears- looks too flashy or too womenly. Too personalized. There would be some effect on like my frivolity in terms of like my ability to do it like for example like for our like FLEXUS seminar thing um, you know she'd be like-- you can definitely go with pants, like if it's wear a dress make sure it's not like too bright and too colorful for interview you know you want to look like, you know. And all of the other girls in my class were like, but if it's cute it's cute! Like, you know if it's still professional if it's professional, like if it's like you know a plain dress but it's like bright orange. I think that's acceptable you know and most women now would opt for like the pant suit and blazer just so they can get past like that stereotype (of conception?) so it's not just like aesthetics I think there are other things that are undeniably female that are completely ok and fine, that sometimes misses the mark and again like.. I think my two students like A--- and J--- I think they might be too female for some people's definitions to ever consider STEM. Cause they're too loud and too passionate and um.. they care about things that are considered frivolous and to the majority of people in this field they're you know logical practical pragmatic, traditional. It would not bode well to collaborate or to you know... Yeah um...