Quick Guide for Action During A Suicide

Immediate Concerns

  • Gather facts about the victim’s suicide.
  • Locate family and close friends and help inform them if necessary.
  • Be present with the family and close friends.
  • Help loved ones find counseling and emotional support.

Keep in Mind

  • Your presence will be as significant a ministry as your words.
  • Allow yourself to emotionally suffer this loss with the victim’s loved ones.
  • Children and adults have the same emotional needs for compassionate ministry.

What to Say

  • Be gentle and upfront when breaking the news. Don’t avoid the word “suicide.”
  • Encourage people to discuss their memories of the victim and any reflections they have on their last interactions with him or her.
  • Be clear and honest with children, but avoid over-explaining.
  • Remind people of God’s forgiveness for the victim, and for friends and family who feel they could have done more to prevent the suicide.

What Not to Say

  • Don’t minimize the pain by saying things like “All things work together for good.”
  • Don’t use clichés such as “God decided it was time to go” or “God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.”
  • Don’t try to answer all the questions friends and family will have.
  • Don’t judge a person’s eternal fate.

Plan Ahead

  • Help the family make initial decisions regarding funeral, burial, and notifying others.
  • Ask the family if and how they want the church to be notified about the suicide.
  • Ask church leaders to make contact with individuals in the church who will be especially affected by this loss.
  • Consider counselors to whom you can refer friends and family for further support.

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Quick Guide for Action During A Suicide

Immediate Concerns

  • Gather facts about the victim’s suicide.
  • Locate family and close friends and help inform them if necessary.
  • Be present with the family and close friends.
  • Help loved ones find counseling and emotional support.

Keep in Mind

  • Your presence will be as significant a ministry as your words.
  • Allow yourself to emotionally suffer this loss with the victim’s loved ones.
  • Children and adults have the same emotional needs for compassionate ministry.

What to Say

  • Be gentle and upfront when breaking the news. Don’t avoid the word “suicide.”
  • Encourage people to discuss their memories of the victim and any reflections they have on their last interactions with him or her.
  • Be clear and honest with children, but avoid over-explaining.
  • Remind people of God’s forgiveness for the victim, and for friends and family who feel they could have done more to prevent the suicide.

What Not to Say

  • Don’t minimize the pain by saying things like “All things work together for good.”
  • Don’t use clichés such as “God decided it was time to go” or “God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.”
  • Don’t try to answer all the questions friends and family will have.
  • Don’t judge a person’s eternal fate.

Plan Ahead

  • Help the family make initial decisions regarding funeral, burial, and notifying others.
  • Ask the family if and how they want the church to be notified about the suicide.
  • Ask church leaders to make contact with individuals in the church who will be especially affected by this loss.
  • Consider counselors to whom you can refer friends and family for further support.

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