Questions (In Bold Throughout Log)

Current Version 12-1-09

Janet DesGeorges

LOG

Child Abuse And Neglect Project

Questions (in bold throughout log):

2-11-09 1 hr. Watched Do? Tell! Video alone at home

2-14-09 1.5 hours watched Do? Tell! Video with GBYS guides. Conversation followed.

2-13-09 what is the incidence of child abuse in the general population?

What is the incidence of child abuse for d/hh kids?

What is an adult supposed to do if a child tells them information?

What if you take information and damage a ‘case’

What if it turns out to be a false report?

What should have I done when N.R. approached me 7 years ago as a 10 year old, running over to my house, afraid to go home?

4-8-09 2 hours research on the wiki site. Especially interested in the incidence information, and ‘what to do’.

4-8-09 1.5 hours. GBYS skype/I visit call.

4-15-09

2 hours GBYS Staff meeting

1 hour CO H&V Board of Directors Meeting

Wow, well, the day after our CO GBYS staff and then H&V board meetings, I took off for the western slope for a few days and didn't get to update you on our meetings regarding that. (it will be reflected in my logs though)
you were right, the minute you bring this up, the stories emerge. we had two GBYS staff, when I started talking about 'next steps',, questions to think about , log keeping clarifications, project 'to do' topics...we were all stopped in our tracks as two GBYS staffers shared their own stories ( one regarding a sister who actually disclosed for the first time the day before our Feb. meeting when we watched the video..., and another guide re: a daughter at the age of two, sexual abuse)..oh man... I can not even begin to describe what went from a 'staff meeting' to a safe place of a small group of friends sharing some really horrific information.. I know you warned us about this. It was really interesting, as there were just four of us and we spent a lot of time processing the personal reflections and the context for the 'project'......
At the board meeting, this discussion also derailed our entire 'agenda' for the day, in a good way. we have reps. from the school for the deaf, the dept. of Ed, disability agencies and others who all, after my report about this project, have already put the discussion and the video as topics for their own agendas at their agencies... one of our board members is a social worker and a really good resource for us here to help our staff process this 'project' and the board was more energized than I have seen them in a long time on any project we have done...
wow, talk about opening the floodgates...dang....
more to come. and our work is being reflected in our 'logs' - we are going to set up another skype/ivisit meeting for May for the guides. ...hope you can join us when that happens...
CA/N

1.5 hours: Sara, Maria, Deeann, Janet

We determined who we are going to talk to this month about this issue: Janet and Maria: Church staff; Sara: Deeann:

The issue has already come up where we’ve talked to family members and friends and responses have come back to us about incidence.. we are not sure what to do. We are already experiencing guilt and blame, and shock about what we are hearing from our own family and friends. We don’t know what to do. Deeann suggested that we go to the wiki site and look at resources of what we should do. We need stuff that WE can read about what and how to respond.

!!!!!!Maria is responding with some tools that you learned with the process for coming to terms with Ariana’s deafness, “Ok, I’m feeling the grief, but now I need to get to ‘what to do next’. Using our experiences to help others…

The incidence that this is happening birth – three is a shock to all of us.

How do we bring this up and out to others when we are all dealing with some of our own and families experiences.

Confronting family is a ‘bombshell’ ; one person called a doctor and told her ‘you’ll never be able to prove it, just forget it’. Called a detective and told her to go to the hospital, they did, and a chain of evidence was established……confronted the family

The need to ‘protect’ the family.

4-15-09 Board Meeting Conversation about project

1 hour

Our Children’s Safety Project: At the National level we have been involved in this project about abuse and neglect with deaf and hard of hearing children. There are few resources on this topic available. Last year Michigan was selected to pilot the topic with guides. This fell through for several reasons. Janet has become interested in Colorado being the pilot state. In your packet you will find a detailed list of what will be involved in this project. Harold was on a video conference with the guides in Feb. The guides also saw a video entitled, “What Do You Do, You Tell”. A high percentage of adults who are told by a child that they are suffering abuse do not tell anyone.

Children with special needs are 3 times more likely to be abused, and although no one has stats based on incidence within specific disabilities, we know that children with communication issues are 5 times more likely to suffer abuse within this group of children with special needs. And the most likely group to suffer abuse are children 0 – age 3.

Harold shared that the minute you begin this conversation be prepared for personal stories to emerge from adults you know.

Janet shared that Hands & Voices is wanting to be involved in creating resources and support for these children. DOVE is doing some nice work. We can connect with organizations that are creating resources for children, but no mention is made in these resources about children with special needs.

Marilee Matlin is just releasing a book on her issues with abuse with a female babysitter.

Laura suggested that H & V create a guide for parents about this issue and where they can get support. She expressed excitement that H & V is willing to take this project on.

Stephanie reminded the board that at the last Family Conference there was a panel of parents sharing that the thing that had impacted and supported them the most were not pamphlets, books, dvds, but personal stories. Perhaps there could be a way to enlist a family wiling to share a personal story.

Laura also suggested some legal discussion/counsel might be helpful.

Shelley suggested getting a core group of people together from DOVE, Mental Health, etc. to see what resources are out there.

It is overwhelming … baby steps are needed.

Denise shared that this is on the front-burner in Colorado. One reason is that Governor Ritter’s wife has a background in mental health. In Denise’s area DHS made a presentation to the CHIP Parent Facilitators. One thing that stood out was that DHS shared that the experience is more positive than anticipated.

We need to have some knowledge so that we know how to respond in the moment.

Harold has graduate students who can research any topic we ask of them. Two topics that we have asked them to research are the curriculums used by schools to address these topics and to gather all of the newspaper articles etc. on abuse and neglect issues with deaf and hard of hearing.

Dinah, Denise, and Stephanie would like this topic and video to be shared with the CO-Hears and CHIP Parent Facilitators. This should be the topic of the meeting with sufficient time for discussion.

Jennie suggested we show this video at the next CO-Hear meeting in June. Stephanie would also like to share this video with the staff at TCH. She also said that she could potentially share it with the Parent Leadership group at TCH. Cathy suggested showing it in community forums for parents and also to the ELDI providers.

Janet said that one of the discussion items is how to approach this topic in a positive way with parents. The guides had a discussion about words and phrase to use to open this topic with families. Perhaps a discussion about frustrations with parenting a child who is deaf and hard of hearing. The research shows that parents of children who are hard of hearing experience higher levels of frustrations because they often report that their child is not listening or paying attention to them.

4-20-09 1.0 hour

More questions:

Why don’t any of the national resources on CA/N address the issues for kids with disabilities?

If we keep following this project as an organization, is it going to begin to consume our work?

How do we go from having a conversation as a staff about CA/N to planning an easter egg hunt for families in the next breath?

How do we create opportunities to discuss this outside our normal ‘staff’ time together.

What can we do at our annual joint staff/board retreat in June to address this?

4-23

Someone asked me, when I shared with them that the incidence is higher for kids with disabilities, ---WHY is the incidence higher for kids with disabilities? I’m not sure of the answer. Thoughts: Vulnerability? Inability to communicate, perpetrators think they are easier targets? Why?

4-23

1 hour: Created simple flyer to take to WREIC conference for our exhibit table. (150 people attending from 10 states)

Thoughts: Can I include a statement in my keynote address on Saturday regarding this?? Hmmm….

4-25

1 hour: Discussed the CA/N project during my PowerPoint presentation (focused on the fact that when children do tell, most adults do not carry that information to the proper person to get the child help) and disseminated information regarding this at the exhibit booth at the Western Regional Early Intervention Conference. Heard through the grapevine that one of our board members also brought this up in her presentation. Delivered Sara K. her videotape. Need to get video to Stephanie Olson who wants to show this at an audiology staff meeting at Children’s Hospital. Talked with Beth Cole at lunch (Part C Director for one of the largest counties) She told me that they use Mental Health services when they need support for CA/N issues…

Questions:

What Mental Health Agencies help with this kind of stuff?

Where can I find a sample one pager about information re: abuse?

1.0 hour 5-5-09

Interview with Youth Pastor from local church

(Janet: shared premise of pilot project; shared higher incidence of children with disabilities affected by CA/N)

Requirments by law: Yes, I am required to report by law child abuse and neglect.

I have a file here somewhere…..

There was an incident that happened here student in group on parole for sexual harassment ‘in the church family’. One of the girls in the church was abused. 19 year old with 14 year old….talked to girl for three hours and brought the girl’s parents in, went down to the sheriffs office and reported it. Justice system was extremely slow. But perpetrator finally convicted.

I knew that I needed to report this. I met with a counselor/attorney, who printed off revised statute……..applicable to “licensed professionals”…..

Another story….16 year. Old girl abused by the parent at the age of two…but she’ll be moving out soon, so I didn’t want to rock the boat.

“Young girls may make a report just to get attention” –

(Janet: shared about the statistical incidence of wheter or not what the victim is telling is true or not)

When conversing with students, and I can tell they are leading up to disclosure….I say…

..”before you say anything, I might need to act upon this….? ‘…to help you, to get you the help you need, to get the protection you need….”

Staff wide training was done…think about contacting Bob Baker.

I don’t know about any community resources…after all the ‘legal stuff’ then they go through the ‘freedom ministries’…

What about the ‘rumor’ -- “I can’t do anything until I talk to the person”

Questions: bolded statemenets above…is that good practice?

What about people’s spiritual context for this? Getting ‘prayer’ and ‘healing’

What would Bob Baker have to say about this?..contact him. (attorney, therapist, former pastor)

5-5-09 MarionDownsCenter 30 minutes

Shared project and video with Children’s hospital liaison who will show video at their audiology staff meeting this month.

Spoke with an audiologist who wonders where the line is drawn concerning families who do not use the techniology with their children OR sign language and have no meaningful communication. When does this become ‘abuse’. One audiologist shared that they reported a family over a health issue (tubes in the ears etc)…

but what about communication???? When does that constitute child abuse and/or neglect?

We got an email from a parent saying the courts are taking away her daughter for not getting a cochlear implant…there has to be more to the story.

5-14-09 1. hr.

How do you move from talking and thinking about CA/N back to the mundane in your life?

I had an epiphany this morning on my morning jog. I was thinking about how much this project has affected my life in the last two months, and how I move internally (my emotions) and externally (running a meeting) from talking and thinking about child abuse and then moving back to other topics…. I kept using the example of how when I walked out of the holocaust museum, I just didn’t feel like going on to another museum, and almost felt guilty, and/or at a H&V meeting, talking about CA/N in one breath and then moving onto another ‘agenda’ item, like planning a picnic for families……it just feels so wrong somehow, like we are diminishing the horror of the discussion…..

Something occurred to me today…. I remember when I walked out of the holocaust museum and was standing on the national Mall, and feeling like I really couldn’t/shouldn’t move on in my schedule, but stood there for a bit, and then decided to go on…I walked into the national gallery of art, and the beauty and the art, and the love, and the universe, and God overwhelmed me, especially in contrast to the devastation, cruelty, and horror of humanity…

I’ve been thinking that by honoring and living in the present, the mundane, the beautiful, laughing, joking, going on, moving on in life after you dive into topics and conversations about CA/N…that’s exactly the point, right? That there is still beauty, love, and laughter in the world, and that’s the very thing we are fighting for in the lives of children who are touched by CA/N…..

So you have to give yourself permission, and I think a group or staff of people to ‘take a leap of faith, and learn, and feel the pain, and just FEEL this, but you get permission to then take a deep breath, and come up out of it, and go on with your day…you have to…you have to live the beauty so that you have something to fight for…it’s just too painful otherwise….

Meanwhile, I talked to Paula Silverman at NICHQ ( National Children’s Health Quality about our project, and she just jumped up, because they are not doing anything with CA/N, but it’s her PASSION, so we are going to see how we can link together our worlds…

1 hr.

June 1, 2009 got resources from the Boulder County Child Abuse network. Told them about our project and they want to connect.

June 3, 2009 – Presented and passed out handouts on O.U.R. children’s Safety to the Colorado Interagency Coordinating Council to 20 stakeholders who serve kids in Part C.

Received some emails of people, and other people are going to contact me with what they know.

30 minutes

June 5, 2009

Posted this question on wiki site

Why is the incidence of kids who get brave enough to tell an adult about the abuse, and then the adult does nothing with that information so high?

Why don’t adults tell, when a child tells them?

When I shared about the project this week it seems like the statistic that really makes an impact is the one about kids who DO tell, that adult does nothing with the information.

I think about my own experience every time that comes up when Nicole (my daughter’s friend, age 10) came over to our house and told me she was hiding in her car afraid to go into her house…it was so long ago that I can’t remember what I did. Nothing? I think I called her mom and told her, and she begged me not to do anything with that information, but it’s really fuzzy now what happened. But I feel guilty every time I think about that.

I think the answer to the question is that people don’t know what TO DO, and/or they wonder if the child is telling the truth. This is why I believe this is such a powerful project. If we can help people know VERY simply what to DO, I bet we could start making a change.

From Sara Kennedy: If you are a victim of childhood sexual abuse, then what you’re about to read is not new news to you simply