May, 2006
Edition #1
Price: $.50 (still very cheap!)
of
Twigglesworth-On-Avon
1
May, 2006
Edition #1
Price: $.50 (still very cheap!)
Local Woman Missing
TOA—Police reported that Lady Hildegard Twigglesworth (70ish) was has been missing since Saturday afternoon. The family butler reported the situation to police.
According to the Mr. James, the butler, Lady T had attended the monthly meeting of the TOA Wine Tasting Club that afternoon. The Twigglesworth driver, Mike Nuvallo, dropped her off at the downtown club. That evening, however, she failed to return home.
Her husband, Earl Spencer Twigglesworth, is requesting all local detective agencies to contact him immediately. Please help find Lady T!
Library Hours to Change
Summer hours at the TOA Library will be extended from 7:00pm until 9:00. The library has recently expanded its collection of magazines, too!
Residents and non-residents alike are welcome to drop by and have a read!
1
May, 2006
Edition #1
Price: $.50 (still very cheap!)
Al’s Sausage Shop
Home of the county's finest meat!
Custom orders while you wait (wild game welcome!!)
Friendly service and great prices!
Call today for information: 1-407-828-1129
1
May, 2006
Edition #1
Price: $.50 (still very cheap!)
TOA Police Receive Award
Police Chief O’Mason and the TOA police have been cited for outstanding service by the National Association of Police Departments. Mason was recognized for his many years of service keeping TOA very, very safe. This prestigious award carries a prize of $50,000—thank you to Chief O’Mason and all the TOA police!
Senator Twigglesworth Opens Senator’s All-Natural Eats
Senator Burton K Twigglesworth, always somewhat of an eccentric, has opened a new restaurant on the outskirts of TOA. The new eatery specializes in vegetarian cooking with all of its food coming from the local farmers.
1
May, 2006
Edition #1
Price: $.50 (still very cheap!)
Sports Events this week
Baseball: TOA Mighty Clubbers take on the Stratford Wizards, Saturday @ 7pm
Jello Wrestling: Hulk Hogansky vs. Lanny “The Human Mountain” Hilt, Friday @ 8pm at the Stratford Civic Center
Bowling: league bowling at the TOA Lanes, Thursday @ 7pm
:
Darwin’s Wizard Shop in TOA!!
The finest imported wands
Hats with moons and stars
Bats’ ears, newts noses, and other magic ingredients
Lessons from beginner to master wizard
Credit cards accepted and perhaps returned.
Call today: 1-407-828-7976
Classified Advertisements
For Sale:
2004 Toyota Camry, low miles. Will sell at book price OBO. Contact George at
2-bedroom house. Well-built, clean, and neat, located near the TOA downtown shopping district. Will consider self-financing. Good investment property. Call Vanilla Real Estate at 1-407-828-5757.
For Rent:
House in the country. No indoor pets. No smoking. But you can have a horse, a cow, and some chickens. E-mail Bob at
Storage units, monthly or long term. Contact Voldmeister Storage in Kingston (just 10km from TOA) at 1-407-324-3789.
Personals:
ISO kind sweet lady for lifetime of happiness. Me? Just a humble, rich company president with my own mansion
ISO furry lady for chewing bones, wagging tails, and chasing sticks. E-mail me at
Extra time on your hands? How an exciting game of curling with the TOA Ice Dudes? Grab a broom and sweep your way to curling heaven—we meet Monday evenings at 7:00pm at the TOA Ice Rink.
Keys?? Are you missing any keys? If you are, drop by the TOA Post Office today! We have hundreds of keys that people have forgotten
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