Preventing Date Rape

PREVENTING DATE RAPE

Teenagers are subject to sexual assault because of their activities.They are more likely to drive or own cars, have cellphones, date, and take drugs or alcohol.The following suggestions are offered and might be taught in guidance, hygiene, or physical education classes.

Keep gas in your car. Be practical and do not take any chances. If you know you are going for a long trip, keep track of your gas and make many stops to fill up.
Follow the firearms laws of your area.If you should choose to own and use a firearm, understand that they are extremely dangerous, especially if not used and stored properly. Use a trigger lock mechanism to ensure that your weapon will not be used against you, even if by accident.Educate yourself about the proper cleaning and maintenance of your firearm to ensure that it will always be in working condition if you should need it.
Beware of victim blame and rape myths. The only person responsible for an assault is the perpetrator. If you have been assaulted, no matter what you do, or do not do, in any case, it is not your fault.
Avoid becoming intoxicated in public and at parties –keep yourself to a 1–2 drink limit. Alcohol decreases awareness, so people are less likely to take note of aggressive or coercive behavior. It is best to stay lucid, especially when with acquaintances and strangers.Keep your wits about you –stay sober.Go to parties with a sober friend or a designated observer who is not drinking, who can watch and protect you.
Always keep your eye on every beverage you drink. Keep it with you always –even to the restroom. Date rape drugs like rohypnol(“roofies“), gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB) and ketamine, which can all cause loss of or altered consciousness, are easily mixed into drinks when you are not looking. Do not drink from communal containers, such as punch bowls.
Once you have lostsight of your drink, do not consume it any more. A substance could have been added to your beverage during your absence, so get another drink. If someone offers to buy you a drink, watch the bartender prepare it and only accept the drink from the bartender.
Do not give out personal information (such as your location) or your daily schedule online. Do not allow new acquaintances to know you are alone at an event or that you live by yourself.
Acknowledge and understand that consent to sexual activity can be withdrawn at any time. If you are uncertain that someone wants to engage in further sexual activity, or your sexual partner is not acting responsive to you, then you should stop and ask her/him how s/he feels before proceeding further. Do not take silence as a yes.
Communicate your sexual and relationship boundaries clearly. Never assume a person interprets your passivity correctly—where you are disinterested, they may perceive interest or believe that you wish to be pursued. If you are not interested in someone, make that clear to him/her. If a person’s advances make you feel nervous, have nothing to do with them.
“No” does not mean “yes, if you pressure someone long enough.” If a person turns you down for either a date or sexual activity, do not continue to press the issue. An individual has the right to end sexual activity, even if they have previously or are currently involved in sexual behavior with you. Do not push personal boundaries.
Be cautious if a person habitually tends to negate your opinions and feelings: “You don’t believe that,”or “You really don’t feel that way.”
Be cautious with anyone who displays hostility towards a gender or tends to verbally degrade and stereotype an entire gender: “They’re all bitches or sluts,”“They say one thing when they really mean another.”
Be assertive with anyone who ignores your personal boundaries, regardless of the length of time you’ve been acquainted with the person. You have every right to stop a sexual act from continuing at any time, regardless of your attraction to the other person or any prior sexual acts you have done with them.
Make an observation of how an individual treats service staff (waiters, clerks, etc.). Is s/he rude and aggressive with them?
Date people whose background you are familiar with in real life. Always meet initial dates in public and do not allow them to come to your home until you have known them for some time. Do not be pressured into inviting an individual into your home, even it’s for an innocuous reason such as having a glass of water or using the bathroom.
If you feel uncomfortable during a date, but have no transportation, call a cab.
Avoid going into secluded areas with your date until you have known him for some time. Meet up for dates and leave separately. Or go on double dates until you feel comfortable being alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Always let someone know who you are going with and what your itinerary is.
Never be alone with people who ignore your personal boundaries. This is specifically directed at individuals who won’t take “no“for an answer when you reject their romantic/sexual overtures and also those who attempt to coerce you into behavior that you find uncomfortable. If someone does this, cut off all communication.
A person should never make you feel obligated to engage in a sexual act (this includes kissing) simply because they paid for drinks/dinner/entertainment. You are also not obligated to engage in sexual activity with someone after an“X” amount of dates. Never date a person who espouses those beliefs.
Do not go to an apartment or hotel room if you do not know the person well, and don’t let them follow you to your room. Do not give out your room number, and ask hotel/apartment staff not to give out your information to anyone who may call to ask about it. Once you are with someone in their room –or they, in yours –it is much more difficult to extract yourself from a bad situation.
If you are at a hotel, nightclub or restaurant alone, ask staff if someone can escort you to your vehicle. Notify staff if someone at the venue is harassing you.
Don’t be afraid to leave an uncomfortable environment. If your instincts are warning you to be afraid of a person or a situation, leave immediately.
Do not be afraid to make a scene if you feel threatened by an acquaintance. Yell, kick, pound on a wall, throw things, do everything possible to attract outside attention.
Act like a “bad” person if you feel threatened. Women especially are taught that in order to be “good” we must be docile, accepting, quiet, and polite. This is wrong, especially at times when you feel threatened. If your instincts tell you that you need to get away from someone, get away and don’t worry about hurting his/her feelings or causing a scene.
When going out with friends, watch out for each other.
Do not personally engage in or allow anyone in your presence to engage in sexual behavior with a highly intoxicated, high, or unconscious individual. If you believe that a person is unable to give consent at that time, or that they are being coerced into a sexual act, make a scene. Demand that the perpetrator stop, and call the police.
Resist peer influence to join in on any abusive or criminal act.
During a sexual assault, a victim should follow her instincts, while observing the behavior of the rapist as much as possible. If you find yourself in this situation, do what your instincts tell you to do to survive.
Be aware of rape myths and the damage they do to victims, both genders, and general societal perceptions of the nature of sexual assault. Nobody “invites” sexual assault.
Trust your instincts! If you feel uncomfortable in any way DO NOT TRY TO NORMALIZE IT! Tell your date you are sick and about to vomit, or get out of the situation some way. Never doubt your instincts or say you are misjudging him/her. Many look back and realize they had uncomfortable feelings before something bad happened.
Always carry your own car keys to get away and use as weapons.
Bring emergency cash for a cab ride home and don’t spend it. You may need it for other situations, like being dumped on the roadside or something. If in a foreign country, always keep in your possessionthe name, front desk phone number, and address of your hotel (but never your room number) written in a language the cabbie will know. Leave information about where you’ll be, with whom, and when you should return to your room—and how someone might find you.
Be cautious of large punch bowls or drinks served by others, as drugs are easily slipped into them.
Open your drinks yourself, and don’t share drinks.
If they have any sexually oriented items that make you feel uncomfortable, don’t say anything. Just get out of there!
Don’t go out with strangers.
Call your parents if you are stranded somewhere—or a friend who will help. What’s the worst thing you parents can do compared to being raped, killed, or any other unfortunate thing? Never feel that you can’t call a parent or a close friend.
Place on speed dial several people that love you and would answer and respond to your calls. Then, if you are ever in a compromising situation, just hit one number and call without anyone knowing.
If the worst should happen, get to the nearest emergency room immediately. Do not bathe, change your clothes or wait until morning. This could compromise or destroy evidence that you were raped and make it much more difficult for the authorities to build a case against your assailant. Physical evidence is your greatest weapon against the person who hurt you.
Do not wait to tell someone what happened to you. Do so immediately. It can be extremely painful to recount the incident so soon after it happened, but the longer you wait, the greater the danger of it becoming a “he said/she said” situation, especially if your assailant is famous or well respected in the community.
If he/she starts touching tell them forcefully to stop and walk away, preferably to a place where people are.
Always stay alert and aware of your situation.
In some cultures, Western women are perceived as “easy.” This creates many problems for traveling women, like an unexpected danger because you may not have done anything that you perceive as provocative. To be safe, NEVER ASSUME THAT THERE IS A NON-SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN—no matter what age—AND ACT ACCORDINGLY. In many cultures, men and women are never casual, asexual friends and if you assume there is a sexual undercurrent (even if it is the last thing you’d imagine) prepare to protect yourself.
If in a group, look out for each other and don’t let group members wander off alone or with someone unknown to the group.
If the offender/rapist is trying to touch or assault you, put your hand in front of you and recite “STOP IT” or kick them in the groin. Never throw a punch unless necessary, it may give easy access to assault you even more.

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