Premarital Class – Week #2 Summer1 2014

Oneness

Schedule:

  • 6:30-6:37 – socialize/get to know you
  • Ask basic questions at table:
  • Where from?
  • How long known each other?
  • Stories, etc…
  • 6:37-6:55 – Introduction (SK)
  • Announcements, schedule for class, etc…
  • PM Class Video
  • 6:55-7:15 – Table Time
  • Newlywed game
  • Discussion questions
  • 7:15-8:00 – Teaching (SK)
  • SK wrap up game
  • Oneness
  • 8:00-8:20 – Table Time
  • 8:20-8:30 –Closing (SK)
  • Homework
  • Wrap-up

6:37-6:55 – Introduction (SK)

  1. Misc admin/housekeeping
  2. Cold in this room – dress in layers
  3. Notebook – all look the same – write your name on it
  4. Nametags – grab on your way in
  5. Come on your own if Significant other is not here or sick
  6. Bathrooms – behind me and in the hallway
  7. Red doors v. green doors
  8. Children’s building, props on the stage
  9. Intro team
  10. Acknowledge awkwardness of the night, insecurity – this is a safe place
  1. MergeLogistics(Merge Overview Slide)
  2. Wednesday nights @ 6:30-8:30
  3. Start and end on time (except 2 weeks)
  4. We know 6:30 is tough… - leaders, kids
  1. Cost - $80/couple – please pay if you haven’t
  2. Covers food, materials; we’ll have water, snacks, cheese cubes
  3. Bring your own dinner if you want
  4. If you get here early, maybe leftovers from leader dinner/meeting
  5. Please wait outside until we open the doors – leader meeting
  1. Format
  2. 8-week class – speakers plus small group format
  3. Role of mentors
  4. Facilitators are not therapists, counselors, marriage experts
  5. They are folks who are married, who have a heart and passion for couples and for God’s design for marriage
  6. They are awesome, make Merge unique, and we empower them to have hard conversations
  1. Goal of Merge(STOP LIGHT)
  2. Teach some essential relationship skills/concepts
  3. Raise up the right questions – give you the training, tools, and topics to work through together
  4. Red, yellow, green
  5. Help you move forward, get help you need, or to break you up
  6. Our goal is for you to understand how big this decision is
  7. 33% of the couples in the last class broke up…
  8. Not much greater than a great marriage, and not much more that can make you miserable than a rotten one!
  9. Dispel the myth – not trying to break you up
  1. We wanted you to hear from a few couples who have been through the class before you (VIDEO)
  1. Text in questions – 469-364-9391
  2. Ask any questions – about marriage, premarriage, class logistics, etc…
  3. Explain text, don’t use other than Wednesday nights; email leaders or email us if you need anything
  1. Send them to tables
  2. Explain newlywed game questions
  3. Get to know each other time
  4. Put discussion questions on the screens
  1. PRAY

6:55-7:15 – Table Time

7:15-8:00 – Teaching (SK)

  1. Wrap-up Newlywed game
  2. Oneness

8:00-8:20 – Discussion/Table Time

8:20-8:30 – Wrap-up (SK)

  1. Info card – give to leaders
  2. Twogether in Texas Certificate
  3. After you complete, we can provide you with a certificate
  4. Request certificate from Beth
  5. Please be sure to get your name tags as that is the way we take attendance
  6. You get great experience, cheese cubes, awesome leaders, and all for $12
  7. FYI – Communication from us – Mail Chimp emails (check spam if you have not gotten)
  8. Next Week
  9. Communication & Conflict
  10. Homework
  11. See pages
  12. You will get out of this what you put into it
  13. No shame if you don’t complete, please come back
  14. Part of the homework is reading our statements on:
  1. Purity (HARDCOPY ON THE TABLE) – leaders will hand out
  2. Living together/Spending the night together
  3. Divorce & Remarriage
  4. If you are members, you can expect to have a hard conversation about this…
  • We are a church – so there should not be any surprises in there
  • We don’t believe God is trying to withhold joy from us
  • Even if you don’t agree we ask that you stay with the class
  • Worst, and most spineless, decision you can make would be to just no-show and drop out before next week
  1. Get your leader’s contact information
  2. Merge Late Night
  3. Blended family bonus night
  4. Will be scheduled soon
  5. Trash, Clean-up, Recycling
  6. Please help us at the end of the night by picking up trash, cans, etc…
  7. Challenge
  8. We really believe this city is a better city if marriages are strong.
  9. We hope this class will give you the information/tools you need to: stop or go
  10. Encourage them for taking the class – pray for them
  11. PRAY

Leaders Time

  1. Schedule for the night
  2. 6:30 – 6:37Table time
  3. 6:37 – 6:55 SK Introduction
  4. 6:55 – 7:15 Table Time - Discussion questions, Explain Newlywed Game
  5. 7:15 - 8:00 Teaching
  6. 8:00 - 8:20 – Table Time
  7. 8:20 - 8:30 – SK closing announcements
  1. Various Leader Notes
  • Leader Agenda – don’t leave on the tables
  • Someone to clean up at the end of the night
  • Introduce team
  • Leave Merge books in the middle of the table
  • Nametags – give them back at the end of the night
  • Leader packets – content
  • Tax exempt forms + form to fill out
  • Keep your receipts – 30, max 60, days to turn in
  • You keep info cards
  • Newlywed game – explain nicknames
  • Purity pledges
  • Twogether in Texas
  • Social for their table – calendar ($40/50/table)
  • Childcare goes until 8:40 for leaders
  • If you have any divorced individuals, make sure you ask how long ago finalized, etc..
  • Subs – let us know ASAP!
  • Clean-up help tonight
  • Don’t look at your phones – speed of the leader…
  • Skype/Facetime instructions
  • Do the homework, especially if you haven’t led before
  • 3/4 couple/table except for… 5-6 tables; 110 couples
  • What to do with walk-ups
  • REMIND LEADERS to SHARE during leader meetings
  1. Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands highlights
  1. Subs – Tyroch (38) (Nokes), Borne (4) (Duran), Brosseau (6) (Bourassa); Ricketts (28) (Amerson)
  1. Main goal for tonight
  2. Get to know people at their table – When people are convinced you want something FOR them rather than something FROM them, they are less likely to be offended when you challenge them
  3. Expectations for the class
  4. Understand marriage is about Oneness
  5. Flex with us tonight…. (inevitably someone’s ex is at a table, walk-ups, etc…)
  1. SK’s Main Points
  2. Definition of marriage:
  3. BARRIERS to oneness
  4. Lessons learned from those who have gone before
  1. Veteran leaders – any advice for rookie leaders?
  • Ask, share around table and then circle back with best practices
  1. Stakes are high - Challenge leaders
  2. If we don’t help them, then who will?
  3. New room, new books, new chairs – same Jesus and same things that have made Merge great.
  4. Analogy from the Village church – Infants v. 5 year olds
  5. Insider and outsider – John 3 & 4 – Nicodemus, woman at the well
  6. Worst of the worst v. Pharisee
  7. We all have the same need