Woods ‘N Water

by

Eyes Right

Pensacola, FL– For the past 33 years, Woods ‘N Water magazine has been extolling the joys of huntin’ and fishin’ – and I am just now discovering it (the magazine). I first saw it near the checkout register in a convenience store here. For just $2.50, what a bargain!

The first six pages are devoted to photos of dead male deer which were pictured with the proud hunters who bagged them, mostly with rifles, a few with bow and arrow. Each buck is described by the number of “points” which refers to the number of tips on his antlers. The deer is also memorialized by the number of inches of “scorable” overall antler size. 150 inches or more is an impressive number. Apparently, at least to the hunting crowd, size does matter.

Deer hunting, at least in this part of our country, seems to be done mostly on non-public lands where the wildlife is not exactly wild. Oh, the deer roam throughout what is to them essentially wild acreage, but the land is owned and managed by ranchers who stock the land with deer bought from breeders. They then install feeder locations throughout the property which dispense food (deer pellets) to fatten the deer for customers who pay to “hunt” on the ranch. There are even products available to put out for the deer to munch on to maximize antler growth (e.g. Horn-Max 20 Super-Pro Mineral). Throughout Woods ‘N Water there are several ads by outfits, such as the Roberts Ranch Game Preserve (40 miles east of Gainesville), which have whitetail deer hunting on their property. Some of these ranches also buy, sell, and trade deer breeding stock to be used by other enthusiasts to improve the herd on their property. The Triple JJJ Ranch, for example, has a 2-page color ad featuring a photo of “Dually,” who has a 324 inch rack; this deer was sired by one of their deer, “Big Boy, out of a 734 daughter.” Impressive, I suppose, if you are a deer breeder.

But there is far more huntin’ in Woods ‘N Water than just deer. There are also pages devoted to sheep, boars, turkey, quail, pheasant, and, my favorite, alligators. Most of the attention, however, is on the boars. Apparently these feral hogs in the southeast U.S. have grown in numbers at alarming rates and are now the source of considerable agricultural damage (estimated as high as $1.5 billion annually). As a result, there are several sponsored “hog hunts” in Woods ‘N Waterwhich advertise: “OPEN HUNT: ANYWHERE, ANY WEAPON OR DOGS.” Prizes include $1000 for the largest boar, $1000 for the largest sow, $1000 for the most hogs, and $200 for the “longest cutters” [the tusks]. You can even sign up for a stay at the Boar Bridge Ranch in Eustis, Florida for “Trophy Boar Hunting,” where for only $495 you will receive all-inclusive lodging for 3 days and 2 nights and guaranteed 3 hogs. And there are no skinning fees, no license required, and a FREE 8x10 color photo of your trophy (hog)! Step right up! And children are welcome. There are several photos of successful youthful hunters, including a smiling 10-year old from Bremen, Georgia who “made a 50-yard head shot with a Marlin 30-30 to drop this 149-pounder on the spot.”

Of course, I have not yet mentioned the water portion of Woods ‘N Water. There are several pages devoted to Puddin’ and Boggin’ – for the uninitiated, this is the sport of driving (and watching) pickup trucks which have been modified with enormous frames and wheels to drive through ridiculously deep pits of mud. Several venues have Memorial Day competitions scheduled with bands and the obligatory (for this crowd) bikini contests.

The other half of Woods ‘N Water is devoted to fishing with reports on bass and bluegills in the freshwater lakes and, for the sea water crowd, tarpon, dolphin, red snapper, Spanish mackerel, grouper, snook, drum (black and red), cobia, redfish, kingfish, amberjack, speckled trout, bluefish, sheepshead, and shark. Most of the articles are written by charter boat captains touting the wonderful, almost guaranteed, fishing in their area. In order to lure (so to speak) tourists back to the Floridarecreational fishing industry following the Deepwater Horizon oil spill last year, the Governor and the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation have created two license-free weekends this June for all saltwater fishing enthusiasts.

I suspect that most Americans outside this part of our country have little understanding, nor appreciation, of the lifestyles of many of the folks down here. If you want to learn more, just subscribe to Woods ‘N Water – you can get yourself a 2-yr subscription for only $32.95!

I thought you might like to know.

E-R