PASTORS’ AFTERNOON APART

JULY 29, 2016

SUMMARY OF FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS

1. What did you find most meaningful or helpful about this Pastors' Afternoon Apart?

  • It was a good review about reporting suspected abuse. I appreciated Melissa's spirit--straight-forward and compassionate approach to questions and concerns.
  • The most helpful information for me was hearing about what the pastor is to do and not do in the case of a relationship of domestic violence.
  • Melissa’s input was helpful; she had both research and experience to talk about.
  • information from Katherine about worship series; knowledge of main speaker; the willingness of WDC to prioritize this topic and offer resources; I enjoyed the time to talk at tables
  • Examples from pastors Tom and Kathryn
  • How to report abuse.
  • Timely topic. Helpful information. The main presenter was very engaging.
  • The careful and compassionate way in which the subject matter was addressed. Also very informative.
  • This was an excellent, well-planned, and highly valuable event. Thank you! The presentation was excellent, WDC resource library material excellent.
  • I found the presenter's clinical perspective helpful in reminding me of and helping me think more about legal and ethical responsibilities.
  • Mrs. Wiens' talk and presentation was by far the most meaningful part of the afternoon. I could have just sat with her words for the rest of the afternoon. It seemed like she opened up holy space for us.I find it extremely important for us to be able to listen deeply and her time gave us that opportunity. I would have liked this time to have been followed up by a time of silence and then a significant amount of time for us as pastors to process what we heard together.
  • A timely topic. Excellent resource persons. Worship experience
  • The resources that the speaker provided.
  • The topic was important. The presenter was knowledgeable and presented the information well. The 3 other speakers added good, practical information.

2. What did you find least helpful?

  • It was review for me, but I understand it was probably new information for some.
  • The temperature. Freezing.
  • I was not particularly interested in the legal aspects beyond the very basics.
  • Table talk
  • We need to have a chance to learn to know each other as pastors in a fun mixing way
  • It was a little long. Could have used more table conversation for processing. Input from the Lorraine Ave pastor felt meandering.
  • It would have been helpful to start after lunch, say at 12:30 pm
  • I would find it helpful to have a one-page, "This is how WDC pastors/churches should connect with WDC pastoral leadership in the event of a crisis." The same could be provided in a more general way, "This is how pastors/churches should respond to a crisis in the first 24 hours, week, etc..."
  • Actually, sometimes her clinical perspective was not very helpful because it felt so different (and so much more clear cut) from my own experience as a pastor, where these situations are always very messy. I'm guessing many of us in the room had at least one messy situation in mind - either from the past or a current situation. In my own mind, I couldn't figure out a way that what I was thinking about would fit into the discussion. In part that is because it would take so long to explain. One thing that might have been helpful would be to ask each of us to write up a case study of a situation (changing details if necessary to protect confidentiality),and then discuss those together? That might have been a way to get lots of the nuances of this onto the table.
  • The main presenter was from a very clinical perspective that does not match my experience as a pastor. I do not feel like the gap between her experience as a clinician and my experience as a pastor was breached much. Although I think that it is good at times to get an expert perspective from the outside as it touches on pastoral ministry, I would generally like to hear from those on the inside and particularly within WDC on their perspectives, and let someone facilitate that discussion and reflection.
  • It was all good!
  • It was all helpful and meaningful.
  • The presentation expanded into domestic violence instead ofremaining focused on sexual abuse. Domestic violence is also an important topic, butin limited time focus is best.

3. After these sessions, what additional questions or concerns do you have regarding response to sexual abuse in congregations?

  • At what point should deacons, elders or other spiritual leaders be informed? I wanted to process more about internal church leadership challenges when such allegations are made. Who needs to know and when? Who doesn't need to know? What are the legal ramifications of internally processing such allegations with church leadership? What's the danger of being sued for liable?
  • I guess I may have misunderstood the purpose of this session. A lot of it was about what to do in cases of child abuse. And that was good, but I was anticipating this session would have more to do with how pastors and churches are to respond and care for the one who is abused and the offender and the congregation in a case like the Luke Hartman case in Harrisonburg, VA. Because of my expectations, I had some disappointment in what was presented. This may be my issue.
  • Just the on-going challenges of creating spaces that are truly safe for all in the church.
  • I would appreciate further resourcing about pastoral responses to the victim and within the system; maybe even stories from pastors who have dealt with this about what they did and what they might do differently in the future; more input from survivors about helpful and unhelpful pastoral responses
  • Not sure
  • When a child comes with a black eye and it was caused by a push to the sidewalk by her older sister, do I report it. Or do you report only if it is by adults?
  • I continue to long for clarity as to what the pastor’s role should be in reporting, but the presentation helped provide some good practices.
  • none
  • These situations, in my experience, are rarely clear cut and I think it would be helpful to push into the fuzziness, messiness, and blurring of lines that happen within a congregation.Relationships are complicated. There are power issues that are hard to identify and call into the light - not just with the pastor, but with lay leaders in the congregation. For example, what to do when dealing with awareness of allegations of abuse (never substantiated in a court of law) from 20+ years earlier (and not abuse of anyone in the current congregation), and powerful leaders in the congregation who are on the side of the alleged abuser and are convinced he'd never do that again? I suspect that while sex offenders are adept at grooming their victims, they also groom the people and communities around them to try to obscure their actions. How do we as pastors and congregations identify such grooming and resist it in a healthy and decisive way? Grooming can be so insidious that it’s only in retrospect that we become aware of what was happening. What is the place of a convicted sex offender or alleged sex offender within a congregation?
  • I went into this session thinking that it would be discussing issues like the recent Luke Hartman case in Virginia and how the church and conference could have/ should have proceeded better. I would have liked to see this as a case study to learn best procedures between pastors and conferences.
  • None come to mind right now.
  • I wish we would havehad discussionsspecifically on how to relate to sexual offenders who want to be part of the congregation.

4. What suggestions do you have for future pastors' resourcing events in WDC? (topics, format, location, etc)?

  • Using the Lilly Grant money provided by Everence on Pastoral Financial Planning.
  • How do congregations talk about the violence---gun violence, racial violence, etc. in our world today? What do we do with our theology of non-violence and peace in the midst of what we see and hear every day in the news? How do we talk about this?
  • Race relations, what does it mean to reach and act “beyond tolerance”?
  • I would welcome more opportunities to talk with other pastors in small groups and share "best practices" in a variety of areas: preaching, christianed, outreach . . .
  • Spiritual retreat ...different methods of prayer...a weekend away...at a retreat center...time for good food, evening of games...challenge the churches to give this as a Pastor Appreciation Gift to their pastor.
  • I don't have much to offer. I have generally found them helpful. Perhaps, the next event could focus on something less heavy.
  • A. How to balance service to the church with mission in the community. B. Spiritual disciplines and self-care. C. Medical jargon and diagnosis 101. D. Pastoral care in an age of internet soc/med addiction.
  • Nothing comes to mind at the moment - but I will pass along ideas if I have them! Thanks for the hard work and planning that went into this. I do appreciate it!!
  • I would like hear more from other WDC pastors. What is God teaching them, how is God leading them? How does the particular place where they live and minister reveal God's kingdom? Thanks to those who organized it this time!
  • Something involving laughter, humor, or maybe a service project or activity in one of our communities.

(Responses received as of 8/24/16)