Part II (The Business & the Mind)

Part II (The Business & The Mind).

Chapter 1: Introduction to Coaching

a)What is Coaching?

Taking a person from where they are to where they want to be. However, there are many definitions of coaching, mentoring, and various styles of line management and training.

The position is complicated by the perceived overlap between many of these activities. A more succinct definition positions coaching as follows:

Managing is making sure people do what they know how to do. Training is teaching people to do what they don’t know how to do. Mentoring is showing people how to do it. Coaching is none of these – it is helping to identify the skills and capabilities that are within the person and helping them find the best version of themselves.

A Coach also:

Use questioning techniques to facilitate client's thought processes to identify solutions and actions.
Facilitate the exploration of needs, motivations, desires, skills and thought processes to assist the individual in making real, lasting change.
Support the client in setting goals and methods of assessing progress.
Observe, listen, and ask questions to understand the client's situation (business & personal)
Creatively apply tools and techniques which may include one-to-one training, facilitating, & networking.
Encourage action and development of lasting personal growth & change.
Maintain non-judgmental unconditional positive regard for the client.
Ensure that clients do not develop unhealthy dependencies on the coaching relationship.
Assess & evaluate the outcomes of the process to ensure the client is achieving their personal goals.
Work within their area of personal strength.
Encourage clients to continually improve and develop new alliances to achieve their goals.
Manage the relationship to ensure the client receives the appropriate level of service and that programs are neither too short, nor too long.

b) Why is Coaching Important?

In this day and age when we have become so reactive in response to the daily needs of life, coaching is the opportunity to break free. In a coaching relationship, the client is in the seat of power and control and can proactively direct their life in the direction they want to go. In any area, career, relationship, health, community, when a person is being coached, they are asked two very important questions. First, what do they want? Second, what are they willing to do about it? These questions are potent and confronting, but the whole idea behind coaching is that they are hiring you to supportively hold them accountable for getting what they want. They determine what that is.

You'd be amazed at how hard this can be for some. We are clear about only some of our dreams and desires. I often hear, "I want to be paid well for doing work that I love." "I want more quality time with my family and friends." "I want to be healthy and fit, without having to go to the gym." "I want meaning and purpose in my life." But you might also be shocked to learn that quite often people say to me, "My dream is to have a dream."

So mired in reality, so busy living by our clocks and calendars, we often forget what matters to us or have little time to even think about it. That's where a Coach comes in. A Coach can help a person get in touch with their purpose and passion, their dreams and hopes, to overcome your fears and doubts and most importantly support them in taking the necessary steps, week by week, day by day for getting what they want.

The bottom line is we can't do it alone. Some of us think we can, but with a Coach you will be challenged, stretched and empowered. You will dream bigger dreams, have insights, uncover and hopefully remove limitations. With a Coach you will increase your chances at being successful and you will be celebrated for it.

Marcia Wieder (founder of Dream U) states, “Coaching is an ongoing professional relationship that helps people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers, businesses or organizations. Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance, and enhance their quality of life. In each meeting or call, the Coach listens and contributes observations and questions. This interaction creates clarity and moves the client into effective action. Coaching accelerates progress by providing focus and awareness. It concentrates on where you are now and what you are willing to do to get where you want to be in the future, recognizing that results are a matter of your intentions, choices and actions. Supported by a good Coach's efforts and the application of the coaching process, amazing things can happen. “

As a Coach, you should lead by example. Here’s a checklist of 20 areas to concentrate your efforts (not limited to these). Learn them & then apply them to your coaching process.

Create Self-Discovery. Be open-minded to feedback & change.
Set Goals & Intentions. Be deliberate, action oriented, & solution focused.
Maintain Integrity. Keep agreements with yourself & always keep your word with others.
Be Decisive & Responsive. Make good decisions by weighing out options & respond effectively & efficiently.
Be Resourceful. Utilize your contacts, connections, networks, etc. Learn to “figure it out.”
Communicate Openly & Honestly. Know your boundaries, but learn how to use positive transparency.
Utilize & Build Strengths. Spend the majority of your time sharpening the skills that align with your strengths.
Be a Change Advocate. To Coach, you must be able to be coached. Embrace change.
Be a Believer in Good. Need I say more?
Be Professional. Understand your position & act accordingly.
Be Responsible & Accountable. Do what must be done first & then follow-up & follow-through.
Appreciate Confidentiality. Do this in all cases!
Honor Ethics. It tells a story about who you are.
Value People. Not objects.
Go Public. Tell others your goals & desires. It will create an inherent need to work towards results.
Live with Purpose. For fulfillment, contentment, satisfaction, gratification.
Be appreciative. Live in a place of gratitude.
Always Move Forward. If you’re moving side to side, you’re going nowhere. If you’re falling behind…well you know what happens then. Always be taking practical steps towards moving forward, even if it’s slow.
Have compassion & empathy. Integrity without compassion is righteousness.
Leave a Legacy. What will your tombstone say?

c)History of Coaching

According to Results Coaching Systems, Coaching is a relatively new discipline; at least in its present form. The coaching field is the result of the convergence of several developmental strands dating back as far as the 1950's. However, it is only in recent times that coaching has been recognized as forming a largely cohesive set of principles, knowledge and skills. The emergence of coaching as a popular profession began in the United States in the late 1980's. Since this time the proliferation of coach training schools, close to 100 in the USA for example, and the establishment of the International Coach Federation (ICF) has led to a dramatic increase in the numbers of professional coaches worldwide. The ICF, the largest non-profit professional association of coaches worldwide, has more than 5,000 members spanning 179 chapters in 30 countries.

d)Core Competencies of pH Coaching

1. Ability to accurately & effectively present & explain the pH Body Balance process to prospective or new clients.

2. Ability to understand & unconditionally commit to integrity, confidentiality & ethical responsibilities.

3. Ability to evoke trust in clients through personal openness, congruence, & genuineness.

4. Ability to actively listen to clients in a manner that helps clients to feel heard & understood.

5. Ability to ask appropriately timed questions that help clients to achieve their goals.

6. Ability to assist clients in effective goal setting & action planning.

7. Ability to help clients stay focused on moving towards their goals.

8. Ability to use humor, metaphor, & imagery in a way that assists clients in achieving their goals.

9. Ability to encourage, support, & motivate clients.

10. Ability to be sensitive, patient but firm; keeping your client on track with their goals.

f) Powerful Questions

The right question can do more to motivate & inspire a client into seeing a bigger picture & changing limiting beliefs than reading a whole bookshelf of inspirational/motivational books or attending several seminars. Why is that? Questions, when phrased and timed well, entice us to dip deep & search within our heart & soul for reason, logic, & reflection. One common comment: “I had never thought of it that way.” Sometimes perspective can change a belief; which may be exactly what is holding us back. The result: knowing ourselves better than we did before.

Here are seven great coaching questions to ask your clients, or yourself!

1. What do you want?
2. What’s holding you back?
3. What is it costing you to continue holding back?
4. How do you want to change your mind’s programming on that topic?
5. What new habits will you put in place to fortify your new mindset?
6. What is the most meaningful action you could take now?
7. What new skills or support systems will ensure your success?

These are simple coaching questions. But even the most successful coaching clients will get continual value out of these kinds of questions. The right question can help anyone move past obstacles and into a zone of action and attraction.

Anatomy of a Powerful Question

All powerful questions:
- Come from a place of genuine curiosity.
- Are direct, simple, and usually open-ended.
- Generate creative thinking and surface underlying information.
- Encourage self reflection & self discovery.

A question is most powerful when neither the asker nor the responder knows the answer, until the question is answered. Think about it like this: if we can ask our coaching clients questions that bring out fresh & new information, we’ve brought about growth and transformation, which can lead to improvement, action, & results.

Keeping the Inquiry Alive

What makes the right question even more powerful? Probe for deeper answers. One question may only scratch the surface. If you want to coach in the most masterful way (to manifest long term change), take the question to its deepest conclusion by asking a simple follow up question:

And what else? What specifically?

Let’s review a simple role-play to see how the questions deepen the discussion.

Of course, in a real coaching session, you would allow the answers to be longer & more thoughtful, but this gives you an idea of how you lead them to an answer that will help them better understand their needs, desires, issues, beliefs, etc.

The biggest transformation comes from the right questions at the right time. Practice by asking yourself the following questions & then use them to support your clients.

What do you want to believe about this?
What would you like to believe about yourself?
How much worse does it need to get before you do something about it?
What would you want NOT to be afraid of?
What is the question you would least like to be asked right now?
What is the next question I should ask you right now?
What would others feel least comfortable about telling you?
What have you done today to make your dream a reality?
What are you not telling (me, yourself, whoever)?
What are the risks to you being successful?
Where do you get your energy from?
How do you feel (an emotion) - how do you know?
What do you want?
What could you do instead?
What’s holding you back?
What is it costing you to continue holding back?
How do you want to change your mind’s programming on that topic?
What new habits will you put in place to fortify your new mindset?
What is the most meaningful action you could take now?
What new skills or support systems will ensure your success?
Are you capable of taking full responsibility for your life?
What stands in the way of living your purpose fully right now?
Who are you?
If you don’t know…Who aren’t you?
What matters the most in this moment/session today?

Asking better questions just makes sense. For example: “knowledge is power” is a common statement. I would rather say “knowledge, plus right action, plus absolute conviction equals power.” It’s more defined and leaves little to doubt.

Bottom Line: If someone can come to their own conclusion, they are more likely to make a change for good, because it is their idea; they own it. This helps break a habit or helps start a new pattern. Make it their idea by leading them to their own answer…through thoughtful powerful questions!

Nicole’s personal favorite coaching questions:

On a scale of 1-10, how important is______, or how much do you want______, or where are you with your goal right now, etc.

Their response: “7.” Your next question: So, what would it take to get that number to a “10?”

If you had a magic wand, what would you do about this, or how do you see this going, or what is the perfect circumstance, etc?
(Let’s say you set a goal with a client & they fail to reach the goal): What did you learn from not meeting your goal?
If you could write the script, how would it sound, what would it say, etc?
If you could create the perfect ending, what would it look like?

So, if smarter questions lead to empowerment, what questions do we often ask that we can REFRAME to give us more power?

g) The Art of Reframing

Reframing involves helping your client see things from a different point of view, focusing on the benefits of situations that they had previously not thought of. A book that explains this concept brilliantly isThe Noticer by Andy Andrews. The book’s theme is “Sometimes, All a Person Needs Is a Little Perspective.” You can help your clients see things differently & change their perspective by presenting a Reframe in the form of a question or even a story. The new thought/idea will be more fully considered by your client, than if you present it as a statement or fact.

Reframing questions to maximize your power:

Original question: “Who am I?”

Powerful (revised) question: “What do I stand-up for?”

Original question: “What are my goals?”

Powerful (revised) question: “How can I just BE and yet be complete?”

Original question: “What is my life purpose?”

Powerful (revised) question: “What can I do where I maximize my life, my love, my happiness, and my burning desire to contribute?”

Original question: “What am I getting out of this?”

Powerful (revised) question: “Who am I becoming from doing this?”

Original question: “Why is this happening to me?”

Powerful (revised) question: “How am I growing and learning from this situation?”

Original question: “What else is there?”

Powerful (revised) question: “How can I be open to discover more?”

Original question: “How can I get more money?”

Powerful (revised) question: “How can I add more value to other’s lives?”

Original question: “What will I do with my time?”

Powerful (revised) question: “What matters the most in this moment?”

Original question: “What do I want now?”

Powerful (revised) question: “What can I do to just be and not want or need anything?”

Original question: “How come I feel out of control?”
Powerful (revised) question: “What can I do in this moment that is true to myself?”

h) Silence – A Powerful Coaching Skill

The use of silence is a powerful coaching skill. It shows your client that you have the ability to listen effectively. However, it can be an uncomfortable skill to master; because many times the coach feels that silence indicates they have run out of questions or it is making the client uncomfortable.

What are the benefits of the use of silence?

You may experience silence when you ask a question. This could mean that your client did not fully understand your question or that they are thinking about their answer. Don’t be tempted to rush in ask another question or rephrase the first one. You could have just asked a very powerful thought-provoking question, which has made an impact on them; allowing silence gives thema chance to think through their response & prepare an answer.

You may also want to allow silence after your client has responded to a question. This gives them time to think about their answer even deeper & expound on the thought; exploring further options, answers, etc.

Pauses in the dialogue can really help you to listen to the client and pick up their emotions, feelings and mood. If you are listening at this level and giving your client the space to think, then they will feel heard and will be more likely to open up (even more) when they do speak. You will also be better able to assess next questions.

Chapter 2: The Human Brain/Mind

By age 18, the human brain stops growing. As a matter of fact, the human brain after age 18 begins to lose more than 1,000 brain cells each day. Do not fear: since the fully developed brain has over 100 billion cells, at the rate of losing 1,000 cells each day, it will take 300,000 years before your brain is out of cells.

An adult human’s brain weighs 3 pounds. The heaviest on record weighed 5 pounds.

Humans use about 100% of their brain. Modern MRI scans proved that people use just about their entire brain even when they are sleeping. It is a myth that humans use only 10% of their brains.

The human brain is capable of executing 10 quadrillion calculations per second--no computer today can match the human brain!