The separation of parents can be hard on all members of the family. In many instances, one parent goes from being in some capacity in their child’s life everyday to only seeing them on a part time basis. This part-time interaction does not mean part time parenting, feelings or responsibility. Even if there is a great distance between a parent and their children, it is still important to let them know they are loved, valued and wanted.

Being separated from your family means many parents don’t get to see and hug their kids as much as they would like to. There is less opportunity for incidental interactions like a ruffle of their hair, the joining in on a story or cuddling up on the couch after dinner. But there are a variety of ways that parents can keeping in touch and interact with their children when they are not physically there. With some creative thinking, parents can develop new ways of interacting and communicating that are positive for both the parent and the child.

Below are some ideas from the booklet ‘Me and my kids – parenting from a distance’ on how to stay in touch with your children and provide opportunities for increased communication. This list is just a starting point but hopefully will encourage parents to develop practices that meet their needs, situations and the ages of the children.

Phone calls

·  Arrange for your children to be able to ring you eg. organise a phone-card or reverse charge number so your child can contact you when they want to.

·  Have a regular time slot and an activity that can become part of your child’s regular routine eg. share bedtime stories or read a book as a serial.

·  Plan a “rough agenda” for your phone calls so that there is always something to talk about or a reason to ring. This can include deciding on a previous call what you are going to talk about next time. eg. agree to watch a particular sports match or the same TV show and discuss it next time you ring.

·  Provide opportunities for your child to be involved in things that concern both of you eg. plan your next visit together.

Letters

·  For small children include a family photo, pressed flower or leaf from your garden, stamps, stickers, drawings, something from your workplace and messages from other members of your family like Grandparents.

·  Use unusual or funny things to write your letters on – coloured paper, wrappers or pictures from magazines. Use coloured or different pens.

·  Have a game that can be sent back and forth eg. Noughts & Crosses, dot-to-dot, hangman.

Email or Internet

·  Go on a virtual tour together

·  If they have a school e-mail address send an e-mail saying hello.

·  Play on-line games

·  Set up a chat room for just you and your child. (instant messaging)

Audio and Videotapes

·  Borrow a storybook from the library and record a tape of a bedtime story.

·  Make a video or photo story of your day at work or home.

Getting your kids to reply

·  Send your child their own special stationary

·  Provide self-addressed and stamped envelopes.

·  A disposable camera for them to send back to you to develop.

Reference ‘Me and my Kids – Parenting from a distance’ – To acquire copies of this free booklet go to www.csa.gov.au

For a complete list of Regional Parenting Service articles go to the City of Greater Geelong website www.geelongaustralia.com.au/community/family/services/article/8cbc84b53070368.aspx