Notes for Chapter 9

Notes for Chapter 9

I. Conflict Management: The Basics

A. Conflicts

·  direct disagreements between individuals, which are inevitable

·  become negative only when they degenerate into violence

B. Reasons Teachers Punish

·  emotional discomfort caused by the conflict

·  need to “remind” certain children who is in charge

·  need for a child to “learn the consequences” of his or her actions

·  frustration at being distracted from “time on task”

·  not knowing what else to do

C. Role of Teachers in an Encouraging Classroom

·  work hard to make conflicts into practical, real-life learning opportunities

·  recognize that conflict management is fundamental to developmentally appropriate practice

·  understand that time taken to mediate is not time “off task”

D. Illustrating the Terms

·  social problem solving is the ability to manage potential and actual conflicts in peaceable ways

·  social competence is the ability to prevent a conflict from happening

·  mediation involves teaching verbal responsiveness in place of aggression and victimization

·  self-regulation is a child’s ability to control his or her emotions and behaviors

·  similar to self-regulation, impulse control or emotions management lend themselves to the cluster of skills children need to do social problem solving

·  conflict resolution denotes positive responses after a conflict has occurred

E. Guidelines for Using Conflict Management

·  The teacher calms down all parties before starting.

·  The teacher intervenes firmly, not as a moral authority, but as a democratic leader.

·  As mediator, the teacher shares power.

·  The teacher supports the right of personal expression and the skill of effective communication.

·  The teacher need not mediate perfectly for children to learn social problem-solving skills.

II. Developmental Considerations in Using Conflict Management

A. Sources of Conflict for Young Children

·  property

·  territory

·  privilege

B. Guidelines for Teaching Social Problem Solving to Young Learners

·  Acknowledge and support feelings as a way to de-escalate emotions and gain trust for the process.

·  Help children define problems in simple terms: physical objects and specific actions.

·  Use the concrete situation to reinforce that their problems have two sides.

·  Encourage children to see the whole problem and how their behavior contributed to it.

·  Encourage children to suggest their own solutions.

·  If children cannot think of winning solutions, suggest alternatives and help them find, try, and evaluate a solution.

·  Over time, nudge children from mediation to negotiation.

C. Peace Props

·  talk-and-listen chairs

·  peace table

·  talking stick

·  problem puppets or peace puppets

III. The Five-Finger Formula for Conflict Management

A. The ABCD Procedure

·  Ask what’s the problem.

·  Brainstorm solutions.

·  Choose the best.

·  Do it.

B. The Five-Finger Formula

·  thumb: cool down, all of you

·  pointer: discuss and agree what the problem is

·  tall guy: brainstorm solutions you all can live with

·  ringer: agree on a solution and how it will work

·  pinky: try it out, with the adult’s monitoring and guidance if needed

C. Two Potholes

·  blaming the children for the conflict, rather than focusing on mediating the difficulty

·  determining the resolution for the children

IV. Teaching Conflict Management Skills

A. The Goal in Social Problem Solving

·  to move children from dependency on the teacher to reliance on themselves

·  to progress from high-level mediation to low-level mediation to child negotiation

B. High-Level Mediation

·  involves direct, guiding intervention by the adult including, if necessary, articulation of the problem, possible solutions, and trying a solution

C. Low-Level Mediation

·  the adult suggests that children negotiate the conflict, but stands by to offer assistance as needed

D. Child Negotiation

·  occurs when children take charge of resolving a conflict by themselves

V. Family Diversity

A. Statistics

·  less than 20% of families in the United States are “typical” with a married mother and father, and a couple of kids

·  50% of all U.S. children will experience the marital breakup of their parents

·  of that 50%, nearly half will experience the dissolution of their parents’ second marriages

·  in 1997, 38% of children living with a single parent lived with a divorced parent; 35% lived with a never-married parent; and 19% lived with a separated parent

B. Father as Caregiver Families

·  includes the two-parent family in which the father is the primary caregiver, and the single-father family

·  building a positive relationship with the dad is important

·  the teacher encourages the father’s efforts and is respectful

·  teachers need to obtain an understanding of the legal situation surrounding the family’s situation in regard to separated and noncustodial fathers

·  divorced fathers should generally be treated as single parents

·  if teachers understand the uniqueness of fathers, they will be better able to increase father involvement in their child’s educational experience

C. Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

·  in 2000, 2.4 million grandparents were raising 4.4 million grandchildren without a biological parent in the home

·  many grandparents provide full-time or part-time care for their grandchildren and are primary contacts of the family with early childhood teachers

·  the circumstances under which grandparents become primary caregivers of their grandchildren are often unfortunate and even tragic

·  grandparent caregivers are beset by many difficulties that may be beyond the ordinary professional experience of most teachers

·  teachers need to recognize that grandparent caregivers feel overwhelmed with their “lot” and isolated from others in the early childhood community

D. Suggestions for Working with Custodial Grandparents

·  Build your relationship with the grandparent around your respect for the task they are undertaking and your “precious mutual commodity,” the child.

·  Modify your family communication methods to reach grandparents.

·  Provide information about your program in “grandparent-friendly” ways.

·  Provide information about accessing materials on parenting and grandparenting.

·  Introduce grandparents to others in similar circumstances.

·  Organize or locate workshops and support groups for grandparents.

·  Collaborate with other agencies to line up services and service-advocacy for grandparents.

·  Assist with referral services and support if children have special needs.

·  Help grandparents feel welcome in the classroom by talking with them about what they would be comfortable with while there.

·  Teach children about grandparents raising grandchildren with picture books, discussions, and even introductions to assistive devices.

·  Encourage grandparents to read children’s books about family relationships to share with grandchildren—and about other topics as well.